my realization
Mark (my counselor) asked me today if i have EVER been happy. He told me to think back through the years for a few minutes. I didn't answer him. He knew the answer when the tears began running down my cheeks. I feel guilty for being unhappy because i know that I have a way of life that so many people in this world would kill for...and i hate it. I'm sorry.
He made me realize how gone the important people in my life are:
My dad: caught up in his own social life and getting money from the workers comp, so the only time he talks to me, he bitches.
My mom: we've never gotten along, but i hate not having a mom to really fall back on like some other people. i mean yeah she's supportive...only because she has to be...and she told me that.
Matt: he doesn't really give two shits about me and he played me bad. my only god damn reason for getting through shit and he fucking walks away.
Sara: i haven't talked to her in so long and i miss her soooo incredibly bad. she was there through a lot of tough times for me to cry on her shoulder.
i suck.
He made me realize how gone the important people in my life are:
My dad: caught up in his own social life and getting money from the workers comp, so the only time he talks to me, he bitches.
My mom: we've never gotten along, but i hate not having a mom to really fall back on like some other people. i mean yeah she's supportive...only because she has to be...and she told me that.
Matt: he doesn't really give two shits about me and he played me bad. my only god damn reason for getting through shit and he fucking walks away.
Sara: i haven't talked to her in so long and i miss her soooo incredibly bad. she was there through a lot of tough times for me to cry on her shoulder.
i suck.