this depressing life
--->rAnDoM<---
got a new dell at work. it's nice. the keyboards are quiet so i don't get irritated at the constant "clattering" from the next cube over where Supertyper sits. Plus the computer is faster now, i think i get more work done.
--->CoNtEmPlAtIvE<---
i sat alone last night in my humble abode watching TV barely noticing 4 hours go by and then looking at the clock realizing it's time for bed. where did the precious hours go? how can i sit and completely shut off to the world or anything in it for 4 hours? i feel guilty for sitting on my ass.
--->MeMoRiEs<---
the boy hung out with his old high school friends last night and it got me thinking about mine. it's been over a year since i've talked to any of them. . .its sad. i think about those careless times when all we did was sit on the back of chad's truck after school and shoot the breeze. (which always involved making fun of every one else or each other) i think about the sad times too, but i look back now and realize they weren't so sad. it was so stress free then, so kick back. it's funny to think that all we ever wanted to do was get out and now all we want to do is get back.
---*tHiS oH sO dEpReSsInG lIfE*---
this life makes no sense. you spend half of it wishing you were 10-20 yrs older and then when you finally are you spend the other half wishing you were 10-20-30-40 yrs younger. how depressing is that?
---*eNtEr InTo ThE hIgH sChOoL dAyS aGaIn?*---
would it even be the same if we were able to go back? would we even like it? sometimes hanging out with the old hs friends is a quick slap in the face for why we stopped hanging out with them in the first place, why we grew apart or why we wanted to so badly get out and done w/the famous senior year. i think about it and realize that the growing apart and not seeing each other is not just because we're buttholes, but also because we truly did grow apart. we're different people now, or at least we have begun to realize our differences that were always there just never acknowledged.
---*wHy EvEn HaNg OuT?*---
i'm too scared to hang out with old friends. when you haven't seen them in a year or more what's the point i think sometimes. what am i going to say that can completely sum up this past year or more of my life? nothing can make it be like it used to. you hang out for one night....how does that in anyway make up for the past year? and how does it get you through the next year? are they really you're friends still? do they even know who you REALLY are now? would you ADMIT who you REALLY are? or attempt in some way to somewhat be like you were in hs so you can all relate to each other again. the laughs you share aren't new, they are laughs that focus on past occurrences. how do you develop new ones, new long lasting memories in one night, once a year? is it worth stepping back in time and bringing it all back to once again push it away when the night is over?
=========================================================================
thoughts of all kind are screaming through my head. i wish i could somehow get them all down. and somehow get a true answer for all of them.
got a new dell at work. it's nice. the keyboards are quiet so i don't get irritated at the constant "clattering" from the next cube over where Supertyper sits. Plus the computer is faster now, i think i get more work done.
--->CoNtEmPlAtIvE<---
i sat alone last night in my humble abode watching TV barely noticing 4 hours go by and then looking at the clock realizing it's time for bed. where did the precious hours go? how can i sit and completely shut off to the world or anything in it for 4 hours? i feel guilty for sitting on my ass.
--->MeMoRiEs<---
the boy hung out with his old high school friends last night and it got me thinking about mine. it's been over a year since i've talked to any of them. . .its sad. i think about those careless times when all we did was sit on the back of chad's truck after school and shoot the breeze. (which always involved making fun of every one else or each other) i think about the sad times too, but i look back now and realize they weren't so sad. it was so stress free then, so kick back. it's funny to think that all we ever wanted to do was get out and now all we want to do is get back.
---*tHiS oH sO dEpReSsInG lIfE*---
this life makes no sense. you spend half of it wishing you were 10-20 yrs older and then when you finally are you spend the other half wishing you were 10-20-30-40 yrs younger. how depressing is that?
---*eNtEr InTo ThE hIgH sChOoL dAyS aGaIn?*---
would it even be the same if we were able to go back? would we even like it? sometimes hanging out with the old hs friends is a quick slap in the face for why we stopped hanging out with them in the first place, why we grew apart or why we wanted to so badly get out and done w/the famous senior year. i think about it and realize that the growing apart and not seeing each other is not just because we're buttholes, but also because we truly did grow apart. we're different people now, or at least we have begun to realize our differences that were always there just never acknowledged.
---*wHy EvEn HaNg OuT?*---
i'm too scared to hang out with old friends. when you haven't seen them in a year or more what's the point i think sometimes. what am i going to say that can completely sum up this past year or more of my life? nothing can make it be like it used to. you hang out for one night....how does that in anyway make up for the past year? and how does it get you through the next year? are they really you're friends still? do they even know who you REALLY are now? would you ADMIT who you REALLY are? or attempt in some way to somewhat be like you were in hs so you can all relate to each other again. the laughs you share aren't new, they are laughs that focus on past occurrences. how do you develop new ones, new long lasting memories in one night, once a year? is it worth stepping back in time and bringing it all back to once again push it away when the night is over?
=========================================================================
thoughts of all kind are screaming through my head. i wish i could somehow get them all down. and somehow get a true answer for all of them.