so screwed.
likes and dislikes inspired by not being tired and having to drive to west virginia in 6 hours:
+ being able to go home again. and by home, i mean cleveland. which before was always a little bit "um, i'm really going back again? i'm a little tired of dealing with the drama i left behind." but now is ... well, awesome.
- going to graduation a year later. second time around, just as boring, i was just as miserable-feeling and hungover, basically spent the night before with the same people doing the same thing, sat there realizing that at heart, people and things never change.
+ changing small things and saving the world. learning, finally, to say no when it matters. making decisions that make you sad, make someone else sad, but save each others' lives, and even those of peripherally involved people. breaking patterns, making life sustainable and not unbearable.
+ emotional honesty, again. the weird 'open-ness' is still around, and i'm pretty sure its going to get me in trouble very soon, but ... it feels so good.
+ knowing that there are at least two, maybe five people, who know everything about you and understand how you operate. that have seen you fully emotionally break down, be completely manic for hours, allowed you to be self-deprecating, self-loathing, and self-destructive, cuddled with you, brought you popsicles at 3am, ect. know, basically, that you are completely crazy in a non-typical way, but still think you are smart, beautiful, and interesting, and love you unequivocally.
- expecting to ever find more people who unequivocally love you. it lessens the previous people and puts future people up to high standards.
- allergies. have sneezed eleven times since starting this entry.
+ running away, but with a purpose. graduation, a wedding. having a reset on life instead of just running.
+ sunny weather in the south. the south, really, in general. looking forward to 'going to graceland' (in reality just staying at a hotel called the graceland inn), and places off of "old" route 33 and left at the iron horse statue on sycamore street.
- chicago rush hour traffic, and having to leave at 5:30am to avoid it.
+ being able to go home again. and by home, i mean cleveland. which before was always a little bit "um, i'm really going back again? i'm a little tired of dealing with the drama i left behind." but now is ... well, awesome.
- going to graduation a year later. second time around, just as boring, i was just as miserable-feeling and hungover, basically spent the night before with the same people doing the same thing, sat there realizing that at heart, people and things never change.
+ changing small things and saving the world. learning, finally, to say no when it matters. making decisions that make you sad, make someone else sad, but save each others' lives, and even those of peripherally involved people. breaking patterns, making life sustainable and not unbearable.
+ emotional honesty, again. the weird 'open-ness' is still around, and i'm pretty sure its going to get me in trouble very soon, but ... it feels so good.
+ knowing that there are at least two, maybe five people, who know everything about you and understand how you operate. that have seen you fully emotionally break down, be completely manic for hours, allowed you to be self-deprecating, self-loathing, and self-destructive, cuddled with you, brought you popsicles at 3am, ect. know, basically, that you are completely crazy in a non-typical way, but still think you are smart, beautiful, and interesting, and love you unequivocally.
- expecting to ever find more people who unequivocally love you. it lessens the previous people and puts future people up to high standards.
- allergies. have sneezed eleven times since starting this entry.
+ running away, but with a purpose. graduation, a wedding. having a reset on life instead of just running.
+ sunny weather in the south. the south, really, in general. looking forward to 'going to graceland' (in reality just staying at a hotel called the graceland inn), and places off of "old" route 33 and left at the iron horse statue on sycamore street.
- chicago rush hour traffic, and having to leave at 5:30am to avoid it.