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LiveJournal, LiveJournal... what the fuck.
Its Jake's 3rd birthday today! I feel kind of bad that I didn't plan anything for him... I didn't bake a cake... I didn't invite over any of his friends... I'm such a shitty owner.
Anyways... I worked my ass off at Tom's today. Worked meaning I didn't really do anything until I really HAD to. I was sitting at my desk and all of the sudden there was a line going down the stairway. I panicked... and didn't know what to do. The only way I can describe the scenario is a mother notices a 400 pound boulder is on top of her child... and somehow, some way manages to gather the strength to single handed-ly lift the boulder off of her child, and toss it to the side. I was the mother, and the line was my child. I did about 390573203 eye-exams and a good .75 of a permit. When everything settled down, I just looked around, completely disoriented and thought, "Damn, I'd make a good mother."
On Friday I went to the BX with my girl T. Meaning... I went to the Bronx Zoo with Tristen, her sister, and her sister's boyfriend. It was one of the best times ever! The second we got there, the parking director informed us that a sea lion gave birth to a baby sea lion (obviously) named Keanu. I don't even know what a sea lion looks like. I also witnessed a gorilla vomit into his hand and then consume it... again.
I forgot that the Bronx Zoo had the sky-rail, appropriately named the 'Skyfari!' I remember the last time I went on the Skyfari, I was in the 4th grade and had to share the small cabin thing with the obese-ist teacher, Mrs. Brown. I was scared because I thought the sheer weight of her was going to break the cable; I was so naive. Anyways, Taryn's boyfriend was scared out of his mind. I guess he thought that the skyfari was like a monorail... just a lot higher. He was practically in tears the whole time. Tristen was having the time of her life, or something. She screamed to the cabins flowing in the opposite direction, and attempted to spit on someone. The spit never made it to its destination... and got stuck on the door.
I miss Paris Hilton. I was watching the news updates yesterday and my mom happened to walk in the room and utter, "I'm glad shes back in jail." I almost hit her. I wanted to scream, "You don't understand the pressure of being and heiress mom, you just don't know!" But then I realized... I dont know either, so I didnt really have an argument.
And Larry Birkhead definitely didn't/doesn't love Anna Nicole. I was watching ET and he was asked if he ever loved her. His reply was a mumble. No tears. A nod of his head. All while rubbing his lower lip with his index finger. Anyone could tell he was lying... and that includes Stevie Wonder. He was just so unbelievable. Whatever, Larry. I'm happy you're the father of Dannilynn, but get your shit together. At least try a little harder next time...
Happy Birthday, Gene Wilder!
Its Jake's 3rd birthday today! I feel kind of bad that I didn't plan anything for him... I didn't bake a cake... I didn't invite over any of his friends... I'm such a shitty owner.
Anyways... I worked my ass off at Tom's today. Worked meaning I didn't really do anything until I really HAD to. I was sitting at my desk and all of the sudden there was a line going down the stairway. I panicked... and didn't know what to do. The only way I can describe the scenario is a mother notices a 400 pound boulder is on top of her child... and somehow, some way manages to gather the strength to single handed-ly lift the boulder off of her child, and toss it to the side. I was the mother, and the line was my child. I did about 390573203 eye-exams and a good .75 of a permit. When everything settled down, I just looked around, completely disoriented and thought, "Damn, I'd make a good mother."
On Friday I went to the BX with my girl T. Meaning... I went to the Bronx Zoo with Tristen, her sister, and her sister's boyfriend. It was one of the best times ever! The second we got there, the parking director informed us that a sea lion gave birth to a baby sea lion (obviously) named Keanu. I don't even know what a sea lion looks like. I also witnessed a gorilla vomit into his hand and then consume it... again.
I forgot that the Bronx Zoo had the sky-rail, appropriately named the 'Skyfari!' I remember the last time I went on the Skyfari, I was in the 4th grade and had to share the small cabin thing with the obese-ist teacher, Mrs. Brown. I was scared because I thought the sheer weight of her was going to break the cable; I was so naive. Anyways, Taryn's boyfriend was scared out of his mind. I guess he thought that the skyfari was like a monorail... just a lot higher. He was practically in tears the whole time. Tristen was having the time of her life, or something. She screamed to the cabins flowing in the opposite direction, and attempted to spit on someone. The spit never made it to its destination... and got stuck on the door.
I miss Paris Hilton. I was watching the news updates yesterday and my mom happened to walk in the room and utter, "I'm glad shes back in jail." I almost hit her. I wanted to scream, "You don't understand the pressure of being and heiress mom, you just don't know!" But then I realized... I dont know either, so I didnt really have an argument.
And Larry Birkhead definitely didn't/doesn't love Anna Nicole. I was watching ET and he was asked if he ever loved her. His reply was a mumble. No tears. A nod of his head. All while rubbing his lower lip with his index finger. Anyone could tell he was lying... and that includes Stevie Wonder. He was just so unbelievable. Whatever, Larry. I'm happy you're the father of Dannilynn, but get your shit together. At least try a little harder next time...
Happy Birthday, Gene Wilder!