gone daddy gone, love is gone.
Nothing like being rejected by someone you truly care about. I wish desperately that things could be different. Decisions made to be unmade. Distance not so brutal. It rips my world apart. But thats life, eh?
I've been listening to a lot of Violent Femmes lately and it really speaks to me. Every song is about heartache and rejection. Its glorious. Nothing like listening to good sad but upbeat music when you are so conflicted in both emotions.
I have a really hard time letting people go. A real hard time. I guess everyone does. But I feel like i am the worst when it comes to dealing with it. Here I am drinking myself into numbness. Smoking more than a chimney does. But it feels so good, the melancholy of it all. Thank god for music or else my life would be extremely pathetic in more ways than one.
Hm. So what do I do now? I suppose I just have to take it and realize that he still loves me but this is the way it has to be. Sucks though. Not going to lie. I feel like life is all a crap shoot. You go through life and things are good but then you have to let someone go. a friend, a lover, a family member. Then you keep yourself busy so you don't have to think much about it. You start a steady coast. The coast goes well. You start to feel better. Then you have to let someone else go.
It all sounds very pessimistic and ominous which isn't typically my style. But it makes sense to me. You have to just enjoy the good, coasting times when you can. I never really did this. I always found some reason to fight, some reason to be bummed out. I know now that I need to take advantage of love when i have it, instead of finding reasons to be suspicious of it. Instead of finding reasons to disown my happiness. Because when it does finally leave, I am left with such a hole in my life.
I guess thats it. Heres some lyrics to sum up some.
good feeling
won't you stay with me just a little longer
it always seems like your leaving
when I need you here just a little longer
dear lady there's so many things
that I have come to fear
little voice says I'm going crazy
to see all my worlds disappear
vague sketch of a fantasy
laughing at the sunrise
like he's been up all night
ooo slippin and slidin
what a good time but now
have have to find a bed
that can take this wait
fin.
I've been listening to a lot of Violent Femmes lately and it really speaks to me. Every song is about heartache and rejection. Its glorious. Nothing like listening to good sad but upbeat music when you are so conflicted in both emotions.
I have a really hard time letting people go. A real hard time. I guess everyone does. But I feel like i am the worst when it comes to dealing with it. Here I am drinking myself into numbness. Smoking more than a chimney does. But it feels so good, the melancholy of it all. Thank god for music or else my life would be extremely pathetic in more ways than one.
Hm. So what do I do now? I suppose I just have to take it and realize that he still loves me but this is the way it has to be. Sucks though. Not going to lie. I feel like life is all a crap shoot. You go through life and things are good but then you have to let someone go. a friend, a lover, a family member. Then you keep yourself busy so you don't have to think much about it. You start a steady coast. The coast goes well. You start to feel better. Then you have to let someone else go.
It all sounds very pessimistic and ominous which isn't typically my style. But it makes sense to me. You have to just enjoy the good, coasting times when you can. I never really did this. I always found some reason to fight, some reason to be bummed out. I know now that I need to take advantage of love when i have it, instead of finding reasons to be suspicious of it. Instead of finding reasons to disown my happiness. Because when it does finally leave, I am left with such a hole in my life.
I guess thats it. Heres some lyrics to sum up some.
good feeling
won't you stay with me just a little longer
it always seems like your leaving
when I need you here just a little longer
dear lady there's so many things
that I have come to fear
little voice says I'm going crazy
to see all my worlds disappear
vague sketch of a fantasy
laughing at the sunrise
like he's been up all night
ooo slippin and slidin
what a good time but now
have have to find a bed
that can take this wait
fin.