(no subject)
I've messed up pretty bad recently. It makes me so angry because for a moment, things were really good. I felt like we were connecting again. We were excited about each other. Now hes angry and doubtful. I want him to understand how much he means to me. How much nothing else matters. But I deserve the backlash. I would give him the same shit if it were him. I just wish I wasn't so damn lonely and depressed. All I want is to be able to hug him and whisper in his ear that he's my one and only. I can't do that. All I can do is try to tell him on the phone while a dozen people are in the background behind him. He's always rushing to get off. Better things to do, better people to talk to. Its been this way for a while. I don't want to feel this way ever again. He doesn't call when he says he will. I'm waiting for him. My mind starts to wander and question. Why hasn't he called me? Doesn't he love me? There was once a time that he would call when he said he would. He couldn't wait to talk to me. Now he never wants to. Doesn't he know im sorry?...
My own brother won't even return my calls. That, above anything else, hurts the worst. I just want to know how he's doing. I just need to talk to him. Talk to someone who loves me. That's all I want.
My own brother won't even return my calls. That, above anything else, hurts the worst. I just want to know how he's doing. I just need to talk to him. Talk to someone who loves me. That's all I want.