(no subject)
Hey guys- I'm with my family and jetlagging like I can't imagine.
I'm avoiding thinking about how I'm not in California sort of like how people ignore things that really disturb them about themselves. "I'm not going to think about it. Not thinking about it...I can't hear you lalalalalalala"
Don't remind me.
I left a big part of myself on the hill getting high with my good friend before I jumped on a plane and flew far far away. I could see all the lights burning brightly- Albany, Oakland, Berkeley. And they all blended together and we drove to the airport and never felt the small earthquake under our wheels which rocked my intern house back on Regent Street. I thought that was pretty funny. I'd been waiting for an earthquake since I arrived there. Only the day I left did it finally happen. And I didn't even know until the next day.
And I'm here, and I understand the empty feeling again. It has a lot to do with feeling put upon. By the lack of bicycle lanes, food that isn't filled with refined sugar and corn syurp, and the joy of wearing your ugly skin like a gown. But the fact that no one was there had something to do with it as well. When I get back to Orlando, it should be funner. Cuz I get to see Cassie and Sarah and Jessie. Man, I miss the old crew.
Sorry if I've been distant, you guys. I've just been breaking down.
I have to go back. That's decided. I can't spend the rest of my time on this Earth feeling like a ghost who knew what it was like to live well.
My everything hurts.
...still single on christmas, too. That's another thing. I wonder what it's like to be with someone on Christmas? What does that feel like? Who knows. I certainly don't.
< /whining and bitching>
I'm avoiding thinking about how I'm not in California sort of like how people ignore things that really disturb them about themselves. "I'm not going to think about it. Not thinking about it...I can't hear you lalalalalalala"
Don't remind me.
I left a big part of myself on the hill getting high with my good friend before I jumped on a plane and flew far far away. I could see all the lights burning brightly- Albany, Oakland, Berkeley. And they all blended together and we drove to the airport and never felt the small earthquake under our wheels which rocked my intern house back on Regent Street. I thought that was pretty funny. I'd been waiting for an earthquake since I arrived there. Only the day I left did it finally happen. And I didn't even know until the next day.
And I'm here, and I understand the empty feeling again. It has a lot to do with feeling put upon. By the lack of bicycle lanes, food that isn't filled with refined sugar and corn syurp, and the joy of wearing your ugly skin like a gown. But the fact that no one was there had something to do with it as well. When I get back to Orlando, it should be funner. Cuz I get to see Cassie and Sarah and Jessie. Man, I miss the old crew.
Sorry if I've been distant, you guys. I've just been breaking down.
I have to go back. That's decided. I can't spend the rest of my time on this Earth feeling like a ghost who knew what it was like to live well.
My everything hurts.
...still single on christmas, too. That's another thing. I wonder what it's like to be with someone on Christmas? What does that feel like? Who knows. I certainly don't.
< /whining and bitching>