(no subject)
Oh man.
I painted today. A big giant painting. On a canvas I made. It felt so good. Like having a baby. A big square baby with colors. :D
When I watch pixar films...or anything related to- I get that feeling you get when you see someone you love who doesn't love you back. And who you yearn and pine for and would do anything for- but it's totally out of your reach.
I want to be a Pixar animator.
That's my dream. The unobtainable. But maybe I can do it. I'm going to try to. Because if I can make it as a scenic painter....I can make it as anything, right?
At least I have painting to back me up.
I don't even know who I am anymore
I guess I have to get to know me
I feel California in my veins now, suddenly
I realized it on Sunday as me and two good friends drove up from Santa Cruz along the California coast- and there were cliffs and breathtaking scenery and the sun carving something into my skin and everyone acted like it was nothing new- because they had always been burrowing in this beautiful and bountiful earth place for years.
I feel better.
I left Florida thinking that I had something to prove- to do- to get rid of. Something to run from. Some horrible wanderlust eating me alive and making me destroy the good things about Florida.
But whatever I had to do is done. Completed. 100% sucessful. Inner peace obtained.
and all the demons in me have bled out
and i'm clean and ready for anything.
I'm new.
brand spanking.
I painted today. A big giant painting. On a canvas I made. It felt so good. Like having a baby. A big square baby with colors. :D
When I watch pixar films...or anything related to- I get that feeling you get when you see someone you love who doesn't love you back. And who you yearn and pine for and would do anything for- but it's totally out of your reach.
I want to be a Pixar animator.
That's my dream. The unobtainable. But maybe I can do it. I'm going to try to. Because if I can make it as a scenic painter....I can make it as anything, right?
At least I have painting to back me up.
I don't even know who I am anymore
I guess I have to get to know me
I feel California in my veins now, suddenly
I realized it on Sunday as me and two good friends drove up from Santa Cruz along the California coast- and there were cliffs and breathtaking scenery and the sun carving something into my skin and everyone acted like it was nothing new- because they had always been burrowing in this beautiful and bountiful earth place for years.
I feel better.
I left Florida thinking that I had something to prove- to do- to get rid of. Something to run from. Some horrible wanderlust eating me alive and making me destroy the good things about Florida.
But whatever I had to do is done. Completed. 100% sucessful. Inner peace obtained.
and all the demons in me have bled out
and i'm clean and ready for anything.
I'm new.
brand spanking.