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"The hunt" for the HODOWE challenge.
I nearly forgot about this one, sorry.
It was Sadie Hawkins Day and that meant a lot of hiding by the male members at headquarters.
Not that it was really a problem if they were caught, a marriage wouldn't be in the near future. It just meant a date of the woman's choosing. Trouble was if you were caught by more than one woman, it could result in some costly wining and dining.
Still the women who participated took it seriously enough to give chase. The corridors were crawling with women, who while doing their work, were on the hunt for UNCLE's most eligible men.
Those men who really didn't want to get caught went to some lenghts to avoid it.
Illya was brilliant, having disguised himself and was clearly unrecognizable; he sequestered himself deep down in the file room where few people would venture. He now had the appearance of a man in his sixties, with a rather hawkish nose upon which gravity had taken its toll. His hair appeared salt and pepper grey, and there was unshaven stubble on his face.
Completing the look was a pair of small frameless spectacles, as well as an oversized oversized suit and shirt.
The true test would be when he was forced to go to the Commissary for much needed food.
He’d made a deal with Cookie the chef to greet him as Pops Pennington, a retired member of the intelligence division who now had the lonely task of maintaining the older, non-restricted files.
“Hiya Pops, how’s it going?” Cookie did his part as Illya walked into the Commissary.
“Slow and quiet,” his voice sounded raspy, and not like his own.
Kuryakin filled his tray with soup, a small salad and a bowl of beef stew with dumplings. To further throw anyone off the scent he was given a carafe of piping hot water to make his own tea once back in his hiding place.
As he slowly moved off, disappearing with his tray from the lunch room, April Dancer asked Cookie who he was.
“I don’t know that man, who is he?”
“Aw, that’s Pops, better known as Pete Pennington. He’s the keeper of the old files in the basement. They let him stay on to do the job even though he’s well past retirement age...seems no one else wanted the job.”
“Really? How is it I’ve never seen him before?”
“He keeps to himself; doesn’t want to bother anyone and distract them from their work.”
It seemed that Pops Pennington became the topic of conversation as no one else had ever seen him either but since he wasn't young, none of the Sadie Hawkings people wanted to go after him.
The ladies began to do a head count, noting suspiciously that Napoleon, Illya, Mark Slate, Kit Kittridge and a number of other most sought after field agents were nowhere to be seen.
“They’re probably out on assignment,” April said as she decided to eat her salad in her office. She hadn’t seen Mark all day, and none of the others as well and knew for a fact that none of them were on assignment.
After eating, she decided she’d do a little investigating herself.
She found Mark hiding in the UNCLE library, way back in a section of reference books that were rarely used by anyone except field agents.
“Gotcha,” she whispered,”It’s Sadie Hawkins Day Mark darling, so that means you owe me a date.”
Mark shrugged.” I thought you didn’t go for this Sadie Hawkins day rubbish. Well, you got me luv, but I can’t leave just in case anyone else catches me. A lad can only afford so many dates.”
“Fine, your secret’s safe with me.”
April left and continued on her quest, this time down to the basement where she found Pops eating his lunch.
“Hello, my name is April Dancer. I do believe we’ve never met".
Pops rose, looking at her with his brown eyes, and as he extended his hand to shake hers, she looked at the back of it. It was a young man’s hand, and had a small but very recognizable scar on the knuckles.
“Illya…” she whispered.
“No, my name is Peter, Peter Pennington,” he kept his cool and his voice raspy.
“I’d know that scar anywhere and besides you forgot to put makeup on your hands.”
He hissed in Russian. “Well better to have been found out by you than the shrieking hoards of women who want to catch me on this ridiculous, made up holiday. I did not think you went in for such nonsense.”
“Well consider yourself caught. You owe me a date and don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me,” she winked.
“Thank you April. A date with you would not be an unpleasant thing.”
“Good answer. I’ll let you know when I’m ready to collect.”
She let him be and headed back upstairs.
As she walked along the grey corridors, she came upon a workman who was standing on a ladder, painting one of the walls. His face was clean shaven, though there was something familiar about him, though like Pops Pennington, she swore she’d never seen him before.
That’s when it hit her,” Excuse me,” she tugged on the leg of his painter’s pants, but you missed a spot.”
The man said nothing, and didn’t even turn to acknowledge that she was speaking to him.
“What, can’t even say hello to a sheila,” she took a chance, speaking with an Australian accent. “All right me ‘ol cobber’ I know it’s you.”
“Awww, April, I reckon you’ve got me,” Kit whispered.”Please don’t let anyone else know. I can’t afford any other dates right now as I’m a bit low on funds.”
“Well you owe me a date, and you’re secret’s safe with me. Carry on, back to your painting...and by the way, you look good without a beard.”
Last but not least, April went in search of Napoleon. She looked everywhere, in every nook and cranny she knew of in headquarters, she even checked the roof, but there was no sign of him. He wasn’t one for disguises so he wouldn’t be hiding in plain sight.
Finally, there was one last place she thought of looking and that was the utility closet in the Map Room. He was known to bring a woman there for a quickie, though she’d heard that was a thing of the past since the Old Man found out about it.
The map room was conspicuously empty of agents, as was most of headquarters. Word was, there was a closed door meeting with Waverly and that was something no one dared to interrupt. Probably his way of protecting his agents from the onslaught of females.
Granted he could ban it, then again it was a good practice in evasion for his male agents.
April headed to the Map room closet and slowly opened the door, peeking inside.
There was Napoleon, sitting in a chair with his suit jacket draped over himself like a blanket; his eyes were closed.
“Ahem…” she cleared her throat.
Napoleon slowly opened his eyes, as he knew he’d been caught.
“April, what brings you here?”
“Looking for you of course, darling. You can officially consider yourself caught for Sadie Hawkins Day. You owe me a date, as does Illya, Mark and Kit.”
“You found them all?”
“Can’t keep a good female field agent down.”
“Where would you like to go for your date, the 21 Club?”
“Sounds perfect darling. I’ll see you there at eight, now go back to hiding. You’re secret’s safe with me...wait, please don’t tell me you’re broke?”
“For once, no.”
“Good, see you tonight.”
April arrived at the 21 Club twenty minutes early and headed straight to the bar. There, lined up like a bunch of school boys were Napoleon, Illya, Mark and Kit who had already had the discussion regarding being caught by April and having been told to meet her at the club.
“Hello boys,”
“April, a date all at once with us?” Napoleon asked. “I thought we were going to have a nice intimate dinner with just the two of us.”
“You thought wrong.”
She ordered a gimlet, and smiled as she sipped it. Knowing that a few of them were a bit low on cash, she’d maneuvered this to enable them to split the dinner check amongst the four of them, making it less painful.
At the end of the so-called date, it was obvious a few of them were wondering who April might go home with for the evening, but those thoughts came to a screeching halt when Dancer thanked them for a lovely dinner and asked the waiter to call a cab for her.
“Good night boys,” she waved as she walked off.
Mark huffed,“Out done by a woman.”
“Ah yes, but what a woman,” Kitt smiled.
“Fair play to her,” Illya said. “Now who wishes to join me at the bar for another round of drinks?”
Everyone except Solo accepted the invitation. “I have a big meeting with the Old Man tomorrow, so I need to get some shut eye. See you all in the morning; I’m sure the assignments put off for today will be awaiting us all. Good night.”
Napoleon headed outside, and there curbside was a yellow taxi.
The door swung open and April called out to him.
“Your place or mine?”
“Yours, it’s safer,” he slipped into the back seat and took her in his arms for a slow passionate kiss.”
“Here’s to next year’s Sadie Hawkins Day,” she whispered when she came up for air.
It was Sadie Hawkins Day and that meant a lot of hiding by the male members at headquarters.
Not that it was really a problem if they were caught, a marriage wouldn't be in the near future. It just meant a date of the woman's choosing. Trouble was if you were caught by more than one woman, it could result in some costly wining and dining.
Still the women who participated took it seriously enough to give chase. The corridors were crawling with women, who while doing their work, were on the hunt for UNCLE's most eligible men.
Those men who really didn't want to get caught went to some lenghts to avoid it.
Illya was brilliant, having disguised himself and was clearly unrecognizable; he sequestered himself deep down in the file room where few people would venture. He now had the appearance of a man in his sixties, with a rather hawkish nose upon which gravity had taken its toll. His hair appeared salt and pepper grey, and there was unshaven stubble on his face.
Completing the look was a pair of small frameless spectacles, as well as an oversized oversized suit and shirt.
The true test would be when he was forced to go to the Commissary for much needed food.
He’d made a deal with Cookie the chef to greet him as Pops Pennington, a retired member of the intelligence division who now had the lonely task of maintaining the older, non-restricted files.
“Hiya Pops, how’s it going?” Cookie did his part as Illya walked into the Commissary.
“Slow and quiet,” his voice sounded raspy, and not like his own.
Kuryakin filled his tray with soup, a small salad and a bowl of beef stew with dumplings. To further throw anyone off the scent he was given a carafe of piping hot water to make his own tea once back in his hiding place.
As he slowly moved off, disappearing with his tray from the lunch room, April Dancer asked Cookie who he was.
“I don’t know that man, who is he?”
“Aw, that’s Pops, better known as Pete Pennington. He’s the keeper of the old files in the basement. They let him stay on to do the job even though he’s well past retirement age...seems no one else wanted the job.”
“Really? How is it I’ve never seen him before?”
“He keeps to himself; doesn’t want to bother anyone and distract them from their work.”
It seemed that Pops Pennington became the topic of conversation as no one else had ever seen him either but since he wasn't young, none of the Sadie Hawkings people wanted to go after him.
The ladies began to do a head count, noting suspiciously that Napoleon, Illya, Mark Slate, Kit Kittridge and a number of other most sought after field agents were nowhere to be seen.
“They’re probably out on assignment,” April said as she decided to eat her salad in her office. She hadn’t seen Mark all day, and none of the others as well and knew for a fact that none of them were on assignment.
After eating, she decided she’d do a little investigating herself.
She found Mark hiding in the UNCLE library, way back in a section of reference books that were rarely used by anyone except field agents.
“Gotcha,” she whispered,”It’s Sadie Hawkins Day Mark darling, so that means you owe me a date.”
Mark shrugged.” I thought you didn’t go for this Sadie Hawkins day rubbish. Well, you got me luv, but I can’t leave just in case anyone else catches me. A lad can only afford so many dates.”
“Fine, your secret’s safe with me.”
April left and continued on her quest, this time down to the basement where she found Pops eating his lunch.
“Hello, my name is April Dancer. I do believe we’ve never met".
Pops rose, looking at her with his brown eyes, and as he extended his hand to shake hers, she looked at the back of it. It was a young man’s hand, and had a small but very recognizable scar on the knuckles.
“Illya…” she whispered.
“No, my name is Peter, Peter Pennington,” he kept his cool and his voice raspy.
“I’d know that scar anywhere and besides you forgot to put makeup on your hands.”
He hissed in Russian. “Well better to have been found out by you than the shrieking hoards of women who want to catch me on this ridiculous, made up holiday. I did not think you went in for such nonsense.”
“Well consider yourself caught. You owe me a date and don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me,” she winked.
“Thank you April. A date with you would not be an unpleasant thing.”
“Good answer. I’ll let you know when I’m ready to collect.”
She let him be and headed back upstairs.
As she walked along the grey corridors, she came upon a workman who was standing on a ladder, painting one of the walls. His face was clean shaven, though there was something familiar about him, though like Pops Pennington, she swore she’d never seen him before.
That’s when it hit her,” Excuse me,” she tugged on the leg of his painter’s pants, but you missed a spot.”
The man said nothing, and didn’t even turn to acknowledge that she was speaking to him.
“What, can’t even say hello to a sheila,” she took a chance, speaking with an Australian accent. “All right me ‘ol cobber’ I know it’s you.”
“Awww, April, I reckon you’ve got me,” Kit whispered.”Please don’t let anyone else know. I can’t afford any other dates right now as I’m a bit low on funds.”
“Well you owe me a date, and you’re secret’s safe with me. Carry on, back to your painting...and by the way, you look good without a beard.”
Last but not least, April went in search of Napoleon. She looked everywhere, in every nook and cranny she knew of in headquarters, she even checked the roof, but there was no sign of him. He wasn’t one for disguises so he wouldn’t be hiding in plain sight.
Finally, there was one last place she thought of looking and that was the utility closet in the Map Room. He was known to bring a woman there for a quickie, though she’d heard that was a thing of the past since the Old Man found out about it.
The map room was conspicuously empty of agents, as was most of headquarters. Word was, there was a closed door meeting with Waverly and that was something no one dared to interrupt. Probably his way of protecting his agents from the onslaught of females.
Granted he could ban it, then again it was a good practice in evasion for his male agents.
April headed to the Map room closet and slowly opened the door, peeking inside.
There was Napoleon, sitting in a chair with his suit jacket draped over himself like a blanket; his eyes were closed.
“Ahem…” she cleared her throat.
Napoleon slowly opened his eyes, as he knew he’d been caught.
“April, what brings you here?”
“Looking for you of course, darling. You can officially consider yourself caught for Sadie Hawkins Day. You owe me a date, as does Illya, Mark and Kit.”
“You found them all?”
“Can’t keep a good female field agent down.”
“Where would you like to go for your date, the 21 Club?”
“Sounds perfect darling. I’ll see you there at eight, now go back to hiding. You’re secret’s safe with me...wait, please don’t tell me you’re broke?”
“For once, no.”
“Good, see you tonight.”
April arrived at the 21 Club twenty minutes early and headed straight to the bar. There, lined up like a bunch of school boys were Napoleon, Illya, Mark and Kit who had already had the discussion regarding being caught by April and having been told to meet her at the club.
“Hello boys,”
“April, a date all at once with us?” Napoleon asked. “I thought we were going to have a nice intimate dinner with just the two of us.”
“You thought wrong.”
She ordered a gimlet, and smiled as she sipped it. Knowing that a few of them were a bit low on cash, she’d maneuvered this to enable them to split the dinner check amongst the four of them, making it less painful.
At the end of the so-called date, it was obvious a few of them were wondering who April might go home with for the evening, but those thoughts came to a screeching halt when Dancer thanked them for a lovely dinner and asked the waiter to call a cab for her.
“Good night boys,” she waved as she walked off.
Mark huffed,“Out done by a woman.”
“Ah yes, but what a woman,” Kitt smiled.
“Fair play to her,” Illya said. “Now who wishes to join me at the bar for another round of drinks?”
Everyone except Solo accepted the invitation. “I have a big meeting with the Old Man tomorrow, so I need to get some shut eye. See you all in the morning; I’m sure the assignments put off for today will be awaiting us all. Good night.”
Napoleon headed outside, and there curbside was a yellow taxi.
The door swung open and April called out to him.
“Your place or mine?”
“Yours, it’s safer,” he slipped into the back seat and took her in his arms for a slow passionate kiss.”
“Here’s to next year’s Sadie Hawkins Day,” she whispered when she came up for air.