(no subject)
I am most unhappy with myself right now. Every time I look in the mirror all I can think is, ‘Ugh, look at that fat cow.’ I seriously don’t want to eat for the rest of my fucking life. But I couldn’t even do that for a day.
I feel so stupid for being so upset over the way I look, but it seems like in today’s society, if you’re not a size 5 or smaller, you amount to nothing. Your opinion doesn’t matter; people only want to partner with you in class because you’re smart, not because they like you; people of the opposite sex don’t take notice of you, or an interest in you, and if they do, they don’t mention it because they are afraid other guys will make fun of them and their ‘fat’ girlfriend. Why do people today have to be so fucking judgmental? I mean really, what the fuck does it matter if someone has a few extra pounds on them? God forbid people don’t starve themselves. I am so tired of hearing perfect girls at school squeeze the skin on their stomachs and say, “Oh my god I am so fat!” They have no idea what it is to be fat, chunky, overweight, pleasantly plump, whatever the fuck you want to call it. Why can’t they just be happy with themselves the way they are? Why can’t I?
If guys today have a few extra pounds, it’s no big deal, it’s cute. But when a girl exceeds oh, say, 150 pounds, it’s like a mortal sin. Jesus fucking Christ. Haven’t people ever heard the saying “Beauty’s only skin deep”? Or how about this one, “It’s what’s on the inside that counts, not the outside.” Why can’t people fucking get past physical appearance? Why can’t I get past my own? Why do I have to criticize myself every time I see my reflection in a mirror, a store window, or a passing car? Why can’t I be okay with myself? Maybe the day I become okay with myself, society will stop caring about looks, that way, I will never have to feel self-conscious, unworthy, and ugly again. Because then it wont matter what I look like. People will look past the flesh. Maybe, just maybe that will happen. But, with all of the close minded people in today’s world, it’s like trying to get a Nazi marry a Jew. Not likely to happen.
I feel so stupid for being so upset over the way I look, but it seems like in today’s society, if you’re not a size 5 or smaller, you amount to nothing. Your opinion doesn’t matter; people only want to partner with you in class because you’re smart, not because they like you; people of the opposite sex don’t take notice of you, or an interest in you, and if they do, they don’t mention it because they are afraid other guys will make fun of them and their ‘fat’ girlfriend. Why do people today have to be so fucking judgmental? I mean really, what the fuck does it matter if someone has a few extra pounds on them? God forbid people don’t starve themselves. I am so tired of hearing perfect girls at school squeeze the skin on their stomachs and say, “Oh my god I am so fat!” They have no idea what it is to be fat, chunky, overweight, pleasantly plump, whatever the fuck you want to call it. Why can’t they just be happy with themselves the way they are? Why can’t I?
If guys today have a few extra pounds, it’s no big deal, it’s cute. But when a girl exceeds oh, say, 150 pounds, it’s like a mortal sin. Jesus fucking Christ. Haven’t people ever heard the saying “Beauty’s only skin deep”? Or how about this one, “It’s what’s on the inside that counts, not the outside.” Why can’t people fucking get past physical appearance? Why can’t I get past my own? Why do I have to criticize myself every time I see my reflection in a mirror, a store window, or a passing car? Why can’t I be okay with myself? Maybe the day I become okay with myself, society will stop caring about looks, that way, I will never have to feel self-conscious, unworthy, and ugly again. Because then it wont matter what I look like. People will look past the flesh. Maybe, just maybe that will happen. But, with all of the close minded people in today’s world, it’s like trying to get a Nazi marry a Jew. Not likely to happen.