its been awhile, old friend.....
I haven't posted here in over two years. Life has taken a complete 180 since I last posted. Had the absolutely shittiest month of my life recently (all of December and a bit before). My grandpa brown had a heart attack and got heart surgury, a few days later kase and I broke up. He couldn't trust me, no matter what I did to try to prove to him that I loved him, he always assumed we would end like this. He projected it so much, that he let himself cause it. It still hurts, but less and less. After that, my car broke down, after that my phone broke, after that, was my bday which I spent drunkenly crying, after that I got strep thoat, after that I made a complete drunken ass of myself around kase trying to get him back, after that....... Eric died.
I have so much chaos in my life and no consistent. But with Eric's death, I have a new view on life. One that only Eric has ever had the gift of giving me, only this time.... It took him passing to make me remember what's truly important. Nothing else really matters in the absolute least.
Found out kase already started sleeping with other people (which I have not) and I honestly..... I wasn't suprised. Four years means nothing. All that matters is moving forward and becoming happy again. I don't want to be jaded forever. I will continue my search for happiness and stability.
I have so much chaos in my life and no consistent. But with Eric's death, I have a new view on life. One that only Eric has ever had the gift of giving me, only this time.... It took him passing to make me remember what's truly important. Nothing else really matters in the absolute least.
Found out kase already started sleeping with other people (which I have not) and I honestly..... I wasn't suprised. Four years means nothing. All that matters is moving forward and becoming happy again. I don't want to be jaded forever. I will continue my search for happiness and stability.