hmm sound like a bit of bitch in here
i figure that now, as i aviod studying for chem, would be the time to expound a bit on life here a mcgill. the good the bad the eh. mostly the 'eh'
i like it here..i really do. it feels pretty right. i think that maybe the downtown campus would be better in that it would cater more towards what i want to do with my life, but aside from that its good. i am comfortable here. Kait and i get along well, we laugh alot, share the same dislikes of people etc so its good.
but i realize my isolation. there is nothing i would rather do than stay here in my room doing whatever, work, reading, etc and not have to see anyone. and i also realize that i really really like that.
there a next to no boys here. which really really bothers me. because it means that i end up surrounding myself with girls. which i dont like doing. the pettiness, the annoying timbers of voices, the stupid comments, the Judgements that get past. it makes me sick. and they are all really nice really sweet good people, but it still happens and i know that it is in thier power to become the stereotypical 'mean girl' if i still had the essay i wrote for bucar about discrimination i would post it because it signifies my feelings much more clearly.
the one person who interests me is a friend of a girl on my floor. he lives on the main campus tho so its not like im going to ever see him. but he and i were able to just talk and be chill and whatever. i didnt feel like i had to restrain any of my reactions or words. the rest of the time on a very short leash. no sick comments, no jokes that are slightly off color, no touching other people, and no sarcasm. every sarcastic comment i make gets thrown back in my face either with bitchy sarcasm or with seriousness. it really really makes me tired.
so yeah those are my thoughts on that.
and how tied i am to hopkins. that the drama still hasnt stopped. that every day i still fix someone's relationship , talk someone down, do what ive been doing for so long. and while i have really no problem with that it pisses me off sometimes. that people expect that i have the time and the desire to deal with it all.
and i do. i really do. but that some people assume nothing has changed.
but im happy, i think, so thats good.
and now i must study for my chem exam on tuesday. party and a half!
love to all
em
i like it here..i really do. it feels pretty right. i think that maybe the downtown campus would be better in that it would cater more towards what i want to do with my life, but aside from that its good. i am comfortable here. Kait and i get along well, we laugh alot, share the same dislikes of people etc so its good.
but i realize my isolation. there is nothing i would rather do than stay here in my room doing whatever, work, reading, etc and not have to see anyone. and i also realize that i really really like that.
there a next to no boys here. which really really bothers me. because it means that i end up surrounding myself with girls. which i dont like doing. the pettiness, the annoying timbers of voices, the stupid comments, the Judgements that get past. it makes me sick. and they are all really nice really sweet good people, but it still happens and i know that it is in thier power to become the stereotypical 'mean girl' if i still had the essay i wrote for bucar about discrimination i would post it because it signifies my feelings much more clearly.
the one person who interests me is a friend of a girl on my floor. he lives on the main campus tho so its not like im going to ever see him. but he and i were able to just talk and be chill and whatever. i didnt feel like i had to restrain any of my reactions or words. the rest of the time on a very short leash. no sick comments, no jokes that are slightly off color, no touching other people, and no sarcasm. every sarcastic comment i make gets thrown back in my face either with bitchy sarcasm or with seriousness. it really really makes me tired.
so yeah those are my thoughts on that.
and how tied i am to hopkins. that the drama still hasnt stopped. that every day i still fix someone's relationship , talk someone down, do what ive been doing for so long. and while i have really no problem with that it pisses me off sometimes. that people expect that i have the time and the desire to deal with it all.
and i do. i really do. but that some people assume nothing has changed.
but im happy, i think, so thats good.
and now i must study for my chem exam on tuesday. party and a half!
love to all
em