(no subject)
SO last week was finals and then Boston Camp all weekend and then another final.
Most stressful time of my LIFE!
BAC was crazy.
The members, amazing.
The caption head, incredible.
The work, insane.
The hours, rediculous.
The reality of it, terrifiing.
I went into it knowing it would be tough and that i would probably have to work at it. Well lets just say it was the hardest thing of my life. My body was almost paralyzed and my mind was in a million knots by the end of the weekend. I got a spot~! But the girls that have been fighting for one since the fall and didnt get a spot or got an alternate spot are better then me at some important things. This scares me, and makes me feel sick all at once.
I came back from the weekend dazed and in a slightly depressed shock. I wanted to be ecstatic and pick up my phone and call everyone! Well, I was so scared about getting the spot and not feeling good enough, I made myself sick for days. I have a few friends that are upset with me, but I honesty cant help what happened. The people that saw me, were very worried.
I took a lot of time to think about this. Ask myself what was making me so sick? Was it the feeling of obligation? Was it taking spots away from others? Was it being scared of letting the team down? All of these im sure were part of it. Today I practiced and I proved to myself that I can believe myself too!
I earned this spot and have been waiting and working for it for a long time now~! This summer maybe the hardest thing I will ever go through, and I may hate it, but if I dont go, I will always wonder. At least I can say I tried.
Im sorry to all those who I hid away from. I hope you understand. This has been the hardest thing I have had to break through.
My name is Melanie, and I AM a Boston Crusader.
Most stressful time of my LIFE!
BAC was crazy.
The members, amazing.
The caption head, incredible.
The work, insane.
The hours, rediculous.
The reality of it, terrifiing.
I went into it knowing it would be tough and that i would probably have to work at it. Well lets just say it was the hardest thing of my life. My body was almost paralyzed and my mind was in a million knots by the end of the weekend. I got a spot~! But the girls that have been fighting for one since the fall and didnt get a spot or got an alternate spot are better then me at some important things. This scares me, and makes me feel sick all at once.
I came back from the weekend dazed and in a slightly depressed shock. I wanted to be ecstatic and pick up my phone and call everyone! Well, I was so scared about getting the spot and not feeling good enough, I made myself sick for days. I have a few friends that are upset with me, but I honesty cant help what happened. The people that saw me, were very worried.
I took a lot of time to think about this. Ask myself what was making me so sick? Was it the feeling of obligation? Was it taking spots away from others? Was it being scared of letting the team down? All of these im sure were part of it. Today I practiced and I proved to myself that I can believe myself too!
I earned this spot and have been waiting and working for it for a long time now~! This summer maybe the hardest thing I will ever go through, and I may hate it, but if I dont go, I will always wonder. At least I can say I tried.
Im sorry to all those who I hid away from. I hope you understand. This has been the hardest thing I have had to break through.
My name is Melanie, and I AM a Boston Crusader.