(no subject)
the boy smells of cigarettes. except after he showers. i love his scent then. the boy smokes consistantly. and i don't like smokers. yet, i like the boy. the boy doesn't love me. and i've questioned whether he even likes me. i'd never need to compare myself to those who are better looking, the boy would do that for me. my friends have warned me. told me to drop him. yet, there's something about him. i've believed he was using me. i wanted to make it stop. yet i do have feelings for him.
i met a man who is sweet. the boy is sweet too. but the man always makes me smile. he calls me beautiful and cute, even when i'm sick. he rubs my back and kisses my forehead. my cheeks, my lips. the man is a free-spirit. he doesn't care what others say. the man has ink and scars and he takes pride in them. he hides behind the metal in his face and wears his heart on his sleeve. he tells me he has a crush. well, i have one too. the man seems too good to be true. so did the boy. i'm afraid the man will become the boy. the boy started out like the man. kissing my forehead. my cheeks. my lips. the boy told me i was beautiful. but that was so long ago. he doesn't kiss me anymore.
i like the boy. but i wasn't sure what he felt. i like the man. but i'm afraid it's not real. i've doubted in the past. and learned from not listening. i've learned to build walls. i want them to be knocked down. but i'm scared. now the boy says he wants to be with me. but, is it only because he might lose me?
i'm sick of only being loved.... when someone realizes i might be gone.
i met a man who is sweet. the boy is sweet too. but the man always makes me smile. he calls me beautiful and cute, even when i'm sick. he rubs my back and kisses my forehead. my cheeks, my lips. the man is a free-spirit. he doesn't care what others say. the man has ink and scars and he takes pride in them. he hides behind the metal in his face and wears his heart on his sleeve. he tells me he has a crush. well, i have one too. the man seems too good to be true. so did the boy. i'm afraid the man will become the boy. the boy started out like the man. kissing my forehead. my cheeks. my lips. the boy told me i was beautiful. but that was so long ago. he doesn't kiss me anymore.
i like the boy. but i wasn't sure what he felt. i like the man. but i'm afraid it's not real. i've doubted in the past. and learned from not listening. i've learned to build walls. i want them to be knocked down. but i'm scared. now the boy says he wants to be with me. but, is it only because he might lose me?
i'm sick of only being loved.... when someone realizes i might be gone.