things have been so weird
I am going to write down like everything that comes to my head so it can clear itself just cause i know that nobody reads this.
where to start... jeez! this has been the weirdest month and half of my life, but time seems to be flying. And my moods are all over the place. So Kyle and I are done. He cheated on me big time, while i was there, then when confronted lied and lied again. It sucks knowing that to him i was always second best. And thats not the only thing hes done to make me feel that way. I feel like i have been hurt so many times that this was just the last straw. Most people would probablly never want to talk to them again, but the weird thing is i still wanna be his friend. Even though i did something very similar, i came clean and never lied once. I let him know how i was feeling the whole time, and my situation was so much differnt. wow, i cant even explain it. I like the whole being single thing to. I mean, maybe i should give other guys the oppertunity to see who i am, and what i can be, especailly if kyle did not see that himself right? SO he is sucking up to me major time, cause he really wants me back. But, i feel like he should have realized how much i meant to him the whole time we were dating, not jsut as soon as he thought he was gonna lose me. Lets face it, i let him walk all over me. Rather, he owned me and knew that no matter what he did i would always forgive him. Thats also a bad thing. roar, i wish things did not end up this way, cause every time i turn to another guy i really dont have the curage to tell him about it. Cause no matter how much he hurt me, i cant seem to find it in myself to hurt him. And that blows for me cause there are some offers i may wnat to look into. But anyways back to my point. I am scared that he may do something stupid, and that if he does i will have my self to blame. err. I feel happier now than i have in so long. Dont get me wrong, the first months of the relationship were simply amazing, but after that things got old and boring and we took advantage of each other and it hurt and was depressing. But being this happy again most of the time is outstanding. and i love it. I feel so free all the time..
I dont really know where i am going with the rest of this but oh well im done.
where to start... jeez! this has been the weirdest month and half of my life, but time seems to be flying. And my moods are all over the place. So Kyle and I are done. He cheated on me big time, while i was there, then when confronted lied and lied again. It sucks knowing that to him i was always second best. And thats not the only thing hes done to make me feel that way. I feel like i have been hurt so many times that this was just the last straw. Most people would probablly never want to talk to them again, but the weird thing is i still wanna be his friend. Even though i did something very similar, i came clean and never lied once. I let him know how i was feeling the whole time, and my situation was so much differnt. wow, i cant even explain it. I like the whole being single thing to. I mean, maybe i should give other guys the oppertunity to see who i am, and what i can be, especailly if kyle did not see that himself right? SO he is sucking up to me major time, cause he really wants me back. But, i feel like he should have realized how much i meant to him the whole time we were dating, not jsut as soon as he thought he was gonna lose me. Lets face it, i let him walk all over me. Rather, he owned me and knew that no matter what he did i would always forgive him. Thats also a bad thing. roar, i wish things did not end up this way, cause every time i turn to another guy i really dont have the curage to tell him about it. Cause no matter how much he hurt me, i cant seem to find it in myself to hurt him. And that blows for me cause there are some offers i may wnat to look into. But anyways back to my point. I am scared that he may do something stupid, and that if he does i will have my self to blame. err. I feel happier now than i have in so long. Dont get me wrong, the first months of the relationship were simply amazing, but after that things got old and boring and we took advantage of each other and it hurt and was depressing. But being this happy again most of the time is outstanding. and i love it. I feel so free all the time..
I dont really know where i am going with the rest of this but oh well im done.