Crossing Lines -- tia_junan's Request
Crossing Lines
Pairing: Akame (Kamenashi/Akanishi)
Genre: angsty kind of, AU-ish?
Rating: NC-17 not really I kind of failed at smut this time.
Short summary: Akame have always gotten paid extra by JE for agreeing to fanservice that they are somehow 'involved' when in fact they have never done anything not shown on film. Then comes the day when one of them is offered a movie contract to produce 3 feature films within 5 years removing him from KAT-TUN. On the eve of the day they learn of the actor's upcoming departure, true feelings are revealed.
A.N.: Written completely in second person with alternation POV b/w Kame & Jin
Kame
It had started off as any other normal day. You got up, took a shower, and put on some fashionably casual clothes. Walking into the kitchen you make some coffee and Ran trots to your feed looking up expectantly. You laugh quietly and fill her dish with water before reaching into the cabinets for a dog treat. Soon after you head outside - Ran in your arms - and sit on your doorstep.
A good thirty-or-so-minute passes by and just as you let out a heavy sight Ran perks up from your lap and yelps excitedly as she runs towards an approaching figure. You watch as the newcomer kneels down to affectionately pet the happy dachshund. He looks up and waves to you brightly. Your hips are cocked to one side as you shift your weight onto one let, your arms crossed in front of your chest.
“You’re late.” You simply state.
He has the decency to look somewhat sheepish and a hesitant smile dons his face, “Gomen.”
A smile breaks out on your face and you reach out to pick Ran up. Your finger brushes his and lingers for a moment as you raise your gaze to look at him. It’s a cliché scene that could have come straight out of a drama. You smirk inwardly - the paparazzi are probably having a field day and you can almost hear the numerous camera shutters going off across the street.
You take Ran inside the house before stepping back out and the two of you being walking side by side your hand occasionally brushing his. It’s perfect how easily you and he fall into and play the role of secret lovers. If only you’d known that your world - that everything you knew - was about to be completely upturned.
*------------------------*------------------------*------------------------*------------------------*------------------------*
Jin
You’d been called into Johnny-san’s office and though that’s nothing new an unrelenting sense of anxiety fills you when you enter the strangely quiet room. You fidget uncomfortably in your seat as you watch the older man, waiting for him to speak. A heavy sigh escapes from Johnny-san’s lips and the knot in the pit of your stomach tightens a little bit more.
“A movie proposal has arrived from Hollywood. They want You to do three feature films over the course of five years…in America obviously. That being the case, you would have to take a hiatus from KAT-TUN. I want you to take the contract, but seeing as how it will cause such a drastic change I am giving You the chance to decline the offer if you wish to.” Was what Johnny-san had told you.
When you told the rest of the group the news the room became deafeningly silent and you know you could hear a pin drop - or so the American saying went. No one spoke for a long couple of minutes and just when you were about to tell them you didn’t want to take the offer - that you didn’t want to have to leave the group for a second time his voice broke through the thick silence.
“You should take it.”
Your eyes widened as did the other four members did and the five of you turned sharply towards him. He jumps slightly at the sudden movement and blinks owlishly.
“Well you should, this is something that only comes around once or twice in your life.”
“But what about KAT-TUN?” You hear yourself say.
He gives the others a quick glance, “I don’t want to stop KAT-TUN activities. I want us to keep releasing songs and doing shows.” He pauses to look at you, “It’s not like I want you to leave KAT-TUN, but think about your career for a second. It’s your chance to truly be recognized world wide - to become a real international name. We’ll always welcome you back openly when you come back to Japan.”
You open your mouth but no sound comes out and you lump in your seat. You can hear feet shuffling and voices talking, but your not listening anymore. You know he’s right and no matter how much more the group talks abou it you know you’re going to end up taking the offer.
*------------------------*------------------------*------------------------*------------------------*------------------------*
Kame
He took the movie offer.
You take a thick black marker and “x” out the small square on the calendar - an almost inaudible squeaking sound makes its way to your ears. It won’t be much longer before he’s gone. You let out a small breath and head into the bathroom readying yourself for the day - today you head to the Jimusho by yourself.
KAT-TUN goes to a routine interview where they ask the usual questions. What are everyone’s feelings about the most recent single, how your play is going, Ueda’s feelings about his first time being the lead in a drama, and of course what each member would like to do for Christmas if they had a significant other - respectively the reporter avoids asking about his soon departure. The group answers each question professionally and as truthfully as possible without actually revealing personally details. Naturally you remember to leave “hints” at his and yours “relationship”; the occasional glance in his direction while talking about the love song and the way you lean a little too close to him when mentioning how you’d be happy simply staying in and watching the snowfall.
The day passes by quickly and it’s one of the few days that the group and some of the others end early so everyone decides to hang out together that night. Who knows when’s the next time that everyone will have a chance to be together before the day he leaves arrives. The night seems too short and before you know it you’re bidding goodnight to the last few guys who are leaving his place. The apartment isn’t nearly as messy as you thought it would be, but you stay behind to help him clean up anyways.
There are cups and dishes strewn about the place - you stack them beside the sink to be done later - and wrapping paper and boxes litter the floor. You finish picking up the last bits of paper when you find him sitting surrounded by various items - he’s stacking them up neatly to one side of the room.
“Everyone…planned this didn’t they?” You stop what you’re doing and turn to look at him. His back is turned towards you as he sits on the floor, “I mean, everyone just happened to bring goodbye and Christmas presents for me. Isn’t that a little weird?”
You sigh and plop down behind him, your back pressed up against his, “Un, we know you didn’t want a good-bye party or anything, but everyone pulled a few strings here and there to be able to get today off early.”
“Takki, it was good to see him before I leave. It’d been a while since I last saw him and Tsubasa.” He starts and you simply nod your head, even if he can’t see it, “Yoko is a baka, giving me Yukan Club plushies. Even Tegoshi - that brat - got me something.”
His head falls back lightly knocking into yours and there’s a light chuckle reverberating throughout his body, “I’m so loved, everyone’s going to be lonely without me right?”
A small laugh escapes your lips, “Baka.”
“But, really…I’ll be the lonely one. Going all the way to America by myself.” He says with a quiet voice.
You want to say something - know you should say something - but all of a sudden your throat feels as if it closing up and no sound will come out. A heavy silence slowly fills the room as you sit there with him and you shift your gaze towards the large window - it’s begun snowing and you silently point it out to him. Watching the drifting snowfall has always been calming and you relax fully against him until you hear the next words exit his mouth.
“I love you.”
It’s soft, but you heard the simple sentence loud and clear and your eyes go wide as you whip around to face him.
“What?”
*------------------------*------------------------*------------------------*------------------------*------------------------*
Jin
It’s over; you’ve finally ruined it all.
You’re lying on your bed, the only source of light being the rapidly setting sun outside. Nearly two weeks have past since the night everyone gathered at your apartment - the night you messed up. You can still remember the look on his face when you told him you loved him.
He got up quickly and you hesitantly turned around towards him. His eyes are wide and the shock is apparent in his eyes.
“What?” His eyes dart back and forth and you know he’s looking for the right words to say, but you also know that he hasn’t. His gaze stays on the floor and you’re afraid to hear what he’s going to say, “Y-you’re joking right. Even if we’re pretending to be more than friends to the media, you still shouldn’t joke like this. You don’t really love me like that.”
You want to laugh and brush it off - to tell him that he’s right and you were just fooling around - but for some reason or other your mouth won’t listen to your brain and refuses to open. And when his eyes finally rise up to meet yours the first thing out of your mouth is a quiet “But I do.” as this time you turn away.
His voice is hushed and shaky as he calls your name questioningly. You get up and the only words that exit your mouth as you walk away from him are “I’m sorry.”
Vaguely, as you step into your bedroom, you hear his footsteps go further away from you and the front door opening and closing - he left.
You never meant to confess to him, you were content just being near him. But with everyone going out of their way to spend the evening with you - to give you farewell presents - it suddenly seemed so real that you were getting ready to leave your whole world behind. The sudden urge to confess - to tell him everything you’d been holding back all these years - crashed into you and before you even realized what you were doing the words had already spilled out of your mouth. And the most painful part of it all isn’t that he couldn’t accept your feeling, but rather wouldn’t acknowledge them to be genuine.
…we’re pretending to be more than friends to the media……You don’t really love me like that…
It’s no big secret that sometimes you can get too into the character that you’re playing, and you know that’s what he’s thinking. And at one point you thought the same too, but that was part of the reason you’d left for America the first time wasn’t it? To see if the fluttering you felt in your chest every time he smiled at you was real or were you just fooling yourself along with the rest of the world.
--------------
Your phone beeps informing you of an incoming text message as you step out of the car. You quickly check the message and smile fondly; it’s Maru telling you to get a good night’s rest and that he, Junno, and Koki would be waiting to see you off at the airport tomorrow. You feel a little guilty as you’ve been declining invitations to go out after work with the guys conveniently using the excuse that you still need to get ready for the big move. It’s not a complete lie; you did still need to pack some items - even if you were actually leaving most of your stuff behind. But you didn’t - you still don’t - know how to face him and before you knew it the day you were scheduled to leave had arrived out of nowhere.
You walk up the steps to your apartment slowly and when you finally reach your floor you drop your bags in shock. He is there all huddled up into a tight ball sitting in front of your door. When he finally notices you he gets up onto his feet.
He looks nervous and his tongue darts out to lick his lips as he raises a hand, “Yo.”
*------------------------*------------------------*------------------------*------------------------*------------------------*
Kame
You’re not exactly sure of what you’re doing anymore; all you know is that you want to see him once more before he’s gone. But he’s been avoiding you - even if he thinks you don’t notice it - and now that it’s the last night before he leaves you’ve been forced to sit outside his front door waiting for him to get home. You don’t know what you’re going to say when you see him but you’ll figure it out later when the time comes. The wind is biting and you’re freezing cold on the concrete floor but you hardly notice as you let your mind wander while waiting for him to get home.
“Kame…” Yamapi calls out to you one evening as you step out of the studio building. Pi’s voice is casual as he moves to stand beside you, “Please don’t call his feelings for you fake.”
You raise a questioning eyebrow towards Yamapi - even though you know Pi’s talking about him and the older man gives you a long sideways glance from his spot against the entrance pillar.
Pi sighs heavily and begins to walk ahead of you - only stopping when he reached the building steps, “I’m not asking you to go out with him or to return his affections. I just want you to accept his feelings for what they are - genuine.” Yamapi says and walks away.
A soft “thunk” stirs you out of your thoughts and you see his bewildered figure standing at the top of the apartment stairs. You get up and you know you should say something but nothing comes to mind. And you stand there tensely for a moment before awkwardly raising your hand and muttering a quiet “Yo.”
--------------
His apartment is surprisingly still completely furnished you notice and wonder why, but don’t comment on it. There are a few items here and there that he’s packed up, but the majority of his items - both functional and personal - are still in their same spot.
Your head has gone fuzzy and you lean heavily against the white couch. The coffee table is littered with now empty beer cans and you add another to the small pile. There’s a shift in the cushions and you turn to find him slumped onto his side half sitting-half lying on the couch. Sliding off the sofa you crouch down until your face is level with his. You’re not sure how you two ended up drinking the night away - you’d meant to talk to him, to ask him about his feeling. When did they start, why he never said anything before, and so much more; but the night was spent drinking in silence broken by self-conscious, awkward attempts at small talk. Unconsciously, you reach out a hand and run it through his hair. He lets out a soft sigh while leaning towards your touch and you pull back quickly - as if only just realizing what you were doing.
A deep breath escapes your lips and you lightly shake him. He groans at you but doesn’t wake up and you pull him onto his feet - throwing one of his arms around your shoulder - and head towards his bedroom. You almost reach his bed when you trip on something and the both of you fall heavily onto the bed - you land on your back and he falls on top of you. He lets out a low groan and as you try to sit up you suddenly feel a pair of lips on your own. You stiffen beneath him and it’s only when you feel his hands touch your torso that you jerk away and push him away. There’s a moment of confusion on his face but then you see his eyes widening in realization and he practically jumps off you.
“Kame! Oh god - I didn’t realize - I thought…I’m so sorry.” He stumbles out and turns away from you.
It takes you a moment, but a sudden thought pops into your head. Does he, perhaps, dream about you? Your breath hitches slightly - though you’re not sure why - and when you see his slumped backside your chest tightens painfully. Maybe it’s the alcohol talking - it’s not exactly new news that you can become a little promiscuous under the influence - but all you know is that at that moment you wanted nothing more than to take his pain away. You reach out to touch his arm and when he turns around to look at you questioningly, you do the only thing that you can think of. Cupping the side of his face you lean down and press your lips to his.
*------------------------*------------------------*------------------------*------------------------*------------------------*
Jin
You had to be dreaming, there was no other explanation - he was kissing you. Soft thin lips were moving -caressing - against yours. You feel him shift on the bed and when he moves to straddle your legs you let out a small gasp giving him the opportunity to insert his tongue into your mouth. His mouth his hot and wet and there’s the thick taste of alcohol on his breath, but beneath it all there’s also a distinct mild flavor that you’re sure is his own. He pulls away for a moment and though you know he breaks the kiss to take a breath you still can’t help but to lean forward to follow his lips.
There’s an upturn curve in his lips and a soft, low chuckle reverberates from his throat. His arms loop around your neck as he leans down once more to your upturned lips. Your hands pull him close - even though he’s already pressed flush against you - and when that’s not enough you find yourself pulling his shirt up; not enough to hinder the kiss, but just enough to feel the warmth radiating off his bare skin. One of your hands stays on his back - keeping him pressed close to you - while the other roams beneath his shirt. He lets out a sharp hiss as your fingers lightly brush one of his pert, pink nubs and he breaks the kiss once more as he arches towards your touch.
You take the opportunity to take off his shirt and while his head is still thrown back you latch and suck onto his neck. A moan emits from his mouth as you bite and lap at his neck. He pulls away from you and moves to lift your shirt over your head. He smirks at you and you don’t have a chance to wonder because he dips down and licks at your collar bone. You let out a high-pitched yelp and instinctively pull away; causing you to fall against the bed. A bright, raspy laughter reaches your ears and you pull him down while flipping your positions at the same time. His face is flushed and his hair splayed out against the pillows. You brush the hair out of his face and lean down to capture his lips.
You’re rubbing and grinding against him now, your pants painfully tight. You want to touch him, but you’re afraid that the second you do the spell will be over. That he’ll comeback to his senses and spurns you away - even if it’s apparent he’s as aroused as you are - so it’s a shock when you feel his hand trailing its way down to the bulge in your pants. He cups you fully and strokes the denim fabric, tantalizing teasing before granting you some relief as he undoes your jeans - freeing your erection from its confinement. You feel his hands move away from you and he quickly unfastens his own pants as well. He grips you firmly and it’s all you can do to keep yourself propped up on your elbows - keeping yourself from crushing him.
His breath is uneven and he calls your name between gasps. Slick with pre-cum you thrust against him over and over, rubbing your arousals together; searching for sweet release. He pulls you down and your lips meet in a wet, sloppy kiss as his legs rise up to wrap around your waist. You move a hand down - lightly brushing against his body on the way - and reach to grasp his erection. Your body moves faster almost with desperation and you blindly search for his hand with your own; entwining your fingers. Suddenly he lets out a loud guttural yell and he arches as his muscles tense at the pinnacle of climax and you follow soon after. You know you should get cleaned up, but you collapse next to him and soon sleep overtakes you.
--------------
You wake up early the next morning nuzzling into the warm body in your arms. A soft sigh escapes from him and his arms tighten around you. The sunlight begins to make its way through the blinds and you scowl slightly - the time for you to leave is rapidly approaching. Carefully, you slip out of the bed and head into the bathroom to take a much needed shower. You get out of the shower and get dressed just as your phone alarm begins to go off. Turning off the alarm you turn towards his sleeping figure and run a hand through his soft hair. He leans towards your touch and you bend to place a chaste kiss on his cheek.
“Thank-you for last night.” You softly whisper to him and get up to head out, “…Sayonara.”
You wish he were awake as you left, but at the same time you’re relieve he isn’t. That way you won’t have to hear him tell you he’s not in love with you. That the night before was a drunken fluke or worse out of pity. But regardless of what it was to him, to you it was more that anything you could have ever wished for. A dream that became a one night’s reality.
*------------------------*------------------------*------------------------*------------------------*------------------------*
Kame
When you wake up in the morning everything feels different - and not just because of last night’s actions. You get up, blanket wrapped around your shoulders, and walk around the apartment. Everything’s still the same. The closet is still half full of clothes, bookshelves are still full of knickknacks, and photos line the walls, but still you can’t help but find the apartment so absolutely and completely - there’s no other word for it - empty. Heading back into the bedroom you curl up on his bed - your face buried into his pillow. You inhale deeply - as his scent surrounds you - and if you close your eyes hard enough you can almost pretend that he’s still there with you, that his arms are still holding you tight. But when his voice doesn’t call out your name and you open your eyes to the empty room you can’t help but let out a choked sob.
It shouldn’t hurt this much you think. There’s no reason for you to be in so much pain, and you can’t understand why the ache in your chest won’t go away. He’s only just left and already you want him to come back. You want to feel the warmth he gives off as he rests his head on you as he peers over your shoulder, see the smile that dons his face, hear his voice call your name once more.
Your train of thought leaves you confused and if you didn’t know better you say you were acting like you were in love with him. Your eyes widen.
“You think too much Kame. Too much and not enough at the same time.” Ueda had said to you earlier in the week. You didn’t understand what Ueda was trying to say then, but slowly the pieces start to come together in your head.
When he told you he loved you, you couldn’t truly believe it. You’d known him for half your life and for the last six years you’ve been obediently playing the roll of secret loversfor the media. It was suppose to be just for publicity, just taking your fan-servicing to another level. Six years of secret glances, six years of hushed whispers, six years of lingering touches; it’s only natural that the lines of fact and fiction begin to blur. You believed that he just thought he was in love with you, that he’d gotten too caught up in the role he had to play.
But - as you lay there in his too large bed - maybe you were wrong. And possibly it was you who’d crossed the lines of reality and pretend. Because while he sometimes can’t act without trying to put himself into the same situation of the character, it’s you that can lose yourself into the role you’re playing. That whenever the cameras are on you fall into the position given to you, and whenever you’re with him the cameras are always on. But rather than believing false feeling to be true - as you thought he had - you think that perhaps you instead managed to convince yourself that the fluttery feelings that made your knees go weak when his fingers brushed against yours and the comforting warmth that arouse in your chest when he smiled at you weren’t real.
You let out a watery, empty laugh as tears threaten to fall from your eyes. It shouldn’t have taken you this long to realize the truth; you should’ve known when he left the first time. But you’d been so hurt that you drowned yourself in any and all work that came your way in hopes of numbing yourself to the pain; you ran away from the reality you weren’t ready to face. And now he’s gone, he’s left and you don’t know if he’ll even come back. Sure the movie contract is only for the next couple years and that KAT-TUN will always await his return, but you know it’s bigger than that. You know that even though he will always have a place in KAT-TUN, KAT-TUN may not have a place in his future.
A sudden anguish invades you and you find yourself running into the living room desperately searching through your bag. Your hands move quickly and groan in irritation before you finally find what you’re looking for; your cell phone. You know he probably can’t answer his phone - if he’s not still in the press conference he must be in the plane already - but you want to talk to him more than anything else at that moment. You don’t know what you’re going to say, but you need to call him - to hear his voice. With shaking fingers you dial his number and bring the mobile to your ear. The phone rings - and the sound resonates in your ear - once, twice, three times.
“Hi, this is Akanishi Jin. If you’re hearing this message then I’m not available at the moment. Don’t forget to leave your name and number at the beep; I’ll try to get back a soon as possible. *BEEP*”
Tears finally make their way down your face and the phone trembles in your grasp. You open your mouth but no words come out. Instead you let out an unsteady breath and a quiet broken “Jin” escapes your lips.
~Owari