Drizzle
The sad song is played perpetually.
Eventually, the record gets broken.
But the melody won’t be gone.
Because the rain will always remember it.
Changmin sat up in his bed. He watched slowly as the downpour washed away all the view in his window. His book was left unattended in his lap, he turned all his attention to the rain.
When the clouds open to the sun
The rays won’t touch you
When the sea rolls its waves
The foams won’t touch you
Junsu snapped. What do you mean its game over? He said to his PS2. He remembered that the boss character flashed a purple light, and then his character died all of a sudden. He threw his controller to the carpet floor, making it bounce and landed upside down. He shutted off his console and turned on his iPod.
Thus my curse be laid upon you
Forevermore shall you be sealed
No light shall touch your skin
No eyes shall endeavor your beauty
Until the one day your demands
Are finally answered
A thunder struck out of nowhere, flashing in the clouds.
A tree burned down, splitted in half, engulfed in fire.
Changmin collapsed, beeping noises signals the nurses.
///
“Have you heard? That geek is finally gone!”
A text message landed in Junsu’s cellphone just a few moments ago, puzzling him about the contents.
“Who? When? How?”
He replied.
“Oh, sorry, forgot that you’re still new. Calling you now.”
In a moment after the new message came, his cell shook with “Yoochun” plastered all over above “Incoming Call” message on the screen of his phone.
“Hello?”
“Hey Su, sorry about that message.”
“Whatever. What happened?”
“Okay, remember that geek who always sits in the far end of the class? He’s DEAD!”
“What? Yoochun, how heartless can you be to sound so happy when someone’s dead? And who’s the geek anyway?”
“Who cares?! He’s better off dead, ruining our class’ jazz with his NERDINESS. Ah, finally the other classes will think our class is cool.”
“I thought our class is already cool enough. And who IS the geek? I still haven’t got who he is yet.”
“It’s that loser, Changmin! You know, Shim Changmin, the one with the heavy glasses?”
Junsu’s jaw dropped. He thought his heart stopped beating.
“Hello? Su? Su? Junsu?”
He closed his cell.
Him, die?
Junsu’s first reaction was thinking there was no more reason to live.
///
The first day that he got into his new school, he was apparently put in the worst class ever. It was a class that has lived their whole life together. They was so well knit, there was almost no room for him to slip in and at least has a friend. Except Changmin.
After he got seated and the glares finally subsided to turn to the teacher’s lecture, he got a nudge from his left.
“It’s alright, they may seem harsh at first, but you’ll get along with them just fine.”
A warm, hushed voice came to his ears. He slowly turned his head and saw something that he thought was an angel.
“Hi, Shim Changmin.”
It took him several awkward minutes to register that the open hand in front him is for his hand to accept in a similar manner.
“K..Kim Junsu.” He stammered, making the handshake with an ear-to-ear deep red blush.
It was raining outside, but he had found his own sun inside.
///
It was always easy talking to Changmin. The second he opens his mouth, that same second Changmin would turn to his face with undivided attention. When he asks a question, he would ponder for a moment, and gives the answer clean and slow. Not retarded, more like caring. There is no chance the highest scorer of every test of every subject could be retarded, mind you.
The first weeks, they were inseparable. Changmin introduced him to every nook and cranny to the small town. Since their house is facing each other, Changmin gave him a shortcut through the woods behind the school. It made trips to and fro school shorter, a route that even most people living there doesn’t know of. They would always walk together in the mornings, chatting under the soothing canopy of trees.
///
But coming from the big city always made a buzz. And with Junsu’s skill for talking, he quickly became popular and accepted, even more than Changmin in the class. As he found out, Changmin was also an outcast, even before he arrived. With the new clique’s doctrine in mind, he thought that Changmin was using him for a friend, and even thought that his warm and kindness was so that he can bring Junsu to the depths of being a social pariah together with him.
One fated afternoon, the sun shone its yellow dusk ray through the class’ windows. As everybody was packing up to go home, Junsu was still hanging out with his newfound gang. Suddenly, one of his new buds, Yoochun, asked, “Hey Su, you wanna hang out tonight?I got the new game we talked about yesterday.”, “Totally!” Junsu replied cheerfully, much to the others laughing delight. “You don’t have any plans with anybody right? I mean, like with him?” Yoochun asked, batting his eyes to the corner of the class, where Changmin was still putting his books inside his bag. Everybody went silent, waiting for Junsu’s statement. “Of course not! Why would I have anything to do with that geek anyway?!”. The whole gang laughed, Junsu the loudest. But from the side of his eyes, he saw a tear welling up in Changmin’s eyes. He hurt him more than he hurt himself.
///
When he got home from Yoochun’s place, he found an ambulance on the driveway of the house in front of his. He went inside his house and found another woman talking to his mother. She was sobbing silently, when her mother finally adresses him. The woman turned his head up, “Ah, so you must be Junsu,” she flashed a weak smile, “Changmin always talks about you, he’s so happy to finally have a friend.” She stood up and excused herself.
“What happened?” He asked his mother after Changmin’s mother left. “Well, they say they found the boy in the woods behind the school. He has a lung problem, as his mother said just now, so the cold evening air of the woods was probably too much for him, not to mention he forgot his sweater this morning. He passed out there, laying on the woods floor for some time until his uncle finally found him. He’s probably going to be hospitalized for some time, that’s why the mother asked us to watch over the house for awhile.”
And the next day, he lost his game and Yoochun called.
///
Junsu lays his head on his pillows, not getting any rest at all. His mind still running over the small times he had with the one that stole his heart. He knew from the first that it’s not even legal, or applies to the normal human logic. But he had always found him lovable, and so ready to love someone else. Stupidly, he took it for granted, all his kindness and attention, until slowly it fades away. He never realizes it until now how fragile Changmin was, he always takes a delicate touch at everything, going over things slowly not because of need or want, but ability. His mind was sharp, but his body was super limited. Junsu was totally blinded from all this fact and after realizing it, a sharp pain to his heart, his eyes finally gave away and tears starts running down his cheeks.
The rain torrented outside, hitting the walls and the roof, the trees all shook with wind, howling under the dark of the night.
Rain, rain, go away,
Come again another day
Junsu remembered the second time it rains in his life at the small town. It started at the last period, much to the dismay of everybody in class. When the home bell finally rung, everybody started packing up slowly. When he was about to finish packing up, he turned his head left and to his surprise, Changmin hasn’t made any movement or signs that he’s going home, his desk was still cluttered with school equipments. He was staring at the rain, a childish smile plastered all over his face. Just as he was about to ask whether his friend had already lost its mind or not, the answer came in a voice that sounded like it came from an angel.
Rain, rain, go away,
Come again another day
Little Changmin wants to play
Rain, rain, go to spain
Never show your face again
Little Minnie wants to play
Rain on the green grass
Rain on the tree
Rain on the rooftops
But not, on, me!
He never thought that his humble, focused friend would harbor such beautiful melody inside his throat. Apparently, Changmin was so focused in English lessons he learned a song in it with perfect pronunciation. Junsu started to have ideas about the two of them being a duet.
“Shut up geek! You’re making it raining harder with your lame singing!” A harsh sneer from across the room erupted the remaining class in laughter against Changmin, a sneer that, as Junsu later founds out, came from Yoochun. Changmin’s head fell downwards, and started packing his stuff. When the class was empty except for the two of them, Junsu tried to cheer him up. “Sing the song again.”
They walked home singing in perfect harmony.
It was the perfect memory for both of them.
Junsu pulled his hair in agony, his tears were now flooding and unrelenting. He turned up his iPod’s volume. He put on songs that he thought would have nothing to do with crying, but he keeps on sobbing. Finally, he lobbed his iPod off and let it all out, the screams, the despair, the honest mistake. He never knew him enough to feel this way, but he happened to anyway. He felt like he’s been thrown abound. Just when he was about to reach his cutter, his handphone rang. He tried as best as he can to sound normal, but it fell out of bounds. Though he wondered, who it is, as it’s unrecognizable to his phonebook.
“Hello?”
“Um, is this Junsu?”
He quickly sat up. The voice was far than familiar, it’s so close to his heart it’s practically the sound of his heart’s drum.
“Changmin, is this you?”
“Um, yeah, ahaha…” He chuckled. Hearing his voice made Junsu felt like melting into a puddle of pink goo.”I’m still in the hospital though, probably for another week.”
“Okay, that’s good to hear. But I still don’t know why you have to be hospitalized though.”
There was an air of hesitation before Changmin started talking again.
“Would it trouble you to come to the hospital tomorrow? I mean, if you don’t mind your Sunday taken over, I…”
“I would absolutely come.”
Junsu had a pang of regret at how that sentence come out like he was desperate to meet him. Fortunately, Changmin is very innocent in those kind of matters, as far as he know.
“Really? Thanks a lot!”
Now Junsu stopped regretting and instead is flying on air.
“Naaah, it’s what friends do.”
“I thought you hated me.”
Junsu fell silent. Changmin still continued with innocence, shrouded in mist of ice cold hatred.
“I thought you wanted nothing to do with me. After all, I’m a geek. I would be just dragging you down the pit of social rejection, wouldn’t I?”
“Changmin, I…”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to come. I never wanted you to come anyway.”
Click!
Junsu’s heart was thrown into chaos again. He plunged into a crying fit.
But his mind is made up. He would come to the hospital tomorrow, whether Changmin wants it or not.
///
The next day, Junsu came to the hospital with a bouquet of yellow flowers and a plastic bag of oranges. He thought feeding oranges to a sick Changmin could ease his broken heart. He went up to the receptionist.
“Excuse me, do you know which room is Shim Changmin in?”
The nurse nodded and searched her files. “It’s in room…”
“Shim Changmin? He went in the ER.” Another nurse answered.
“Oh really? Is it his lungs again?” The first nurse asked.
“Yeah, they said it’s really bad, there’s even a chance he won’t survive this.”
Junsu’s face went ghastly pale.
“Where is the ER?!” He asked hastily.
“Left wing, go straight over there.” The nurse replied in an instant.
Junsu screamed thank you as he sprinted to the ER.
He found Changmin’s mother sitting in a waiting chair right outside of ER. She looked up and looked relieved there’s finally someone he knew. “Oh, Junsu, what are you doing here?”, “I wanted to visit Changmin, he called me last night, but then I heard he went in the ER, what happened?” Junsu replied. Mrs. Shim just sobbed and replied, “You know how my son has a problem with his lungs, right? Now it’s getting worse. I have no idea what triggered it, but the leak in the left valve keeps opening bigger and bigger, the doctor said.” She said it through tears and hiccups. Junsu’s eyes were welling, but he held it back as much as he can and tried to comfort her.
2 hours later, the ER sign finally was turned off and the doctor went out. Junsu and Mrs. Shim jumped when they see him. “How is he doctor? Is my son okay?”, “Mrs. Shim, I’m afraid I have something to talk to you.” He ushered Mrs. Shim to a nearby meeting room. Junsu tried to stay back but Mrs. Shim waved her hand, signalling him to follow. He wasted no time.
///
3 hours later, in room 204, Junsu slowly opened the door. Inside, there was only one bed, with the love of his heart in it. He closed the door slowly and walked over to him. He has never seen Changmin’s face while sleeping, though he bet the other way around is totally familiar to Changmin, as he always dozes off in lessons and Changmin would be the only one to hit his ribs to woke him up. He was tempted to kiss Changmin’s lips while he was sleeping, when he was about to move an icy sentence came.
“ I thought I said I didn’t want you to come.”
“Yeah, but I came anyway.”
“Says who?”
“Says me.”
“Okay then, please get out of my room, Now.”
“Oh, why so sour, Minnie?”
“Oh, would you rather me call the security to drag you out?”
“OH, Come on! I was just joking, Min!”
“It’s not funny, or entertaining at all.”
Junsu sighed. He knew this is a losing game, arguing with someone leagues smarter than him.
“Changmin, I came here to apologize.”
“Apology not accepted. Get lost.”
Now he’s just annoying.
“Oh come on, why won’t you listen to what I have to say?”
“This geek would rather bleed his ear out than having to hear what you say.”
“Really? Because people say my dolphin scream breaks glasses.”
“Try me. Let’s see which comes first, earbleed death or fruit knife death.”
Junsu was so fed up he almost screamed, when he noticed that Changmin, looking away from him, has a tear welling up in his eyes. He lets out his breath, and pulled up a chair and sat beside him.
“Why haven’t I hear a scream? Did you went ultrasonic already?”
“No, I just don’t want my victims to die with tears held back in their eyes.”
Changmin blushed when he heard that, he quickly tries to wipes his tears from the edge of his eyes with a tint shade of red all over his face. Junsu chuckled.
“What’s wrong? Someone crying is funny in your eyes?”
“No. I was just remarking at how cute you are.”
Changmin’s blush went one more shade of red before it turned into fury.
“Teasing the hospitalized loser, huh? Aren’t you a champion?”
“Do we have to go through this again? You’re supposed to be resting, okay?”
“Do you suppose you can show yourself the exit so that I can sleep now?”
Junsu was out of his boundaries. He chose an option he never wanted to risk.
“Not before I do this.”
He quickly leans to Changmin and engaged his lips. It was quick, but just when he was about to pull off another tongue darted out and entered his lips. The quick kiss turned into a heated one, with Changmin finally break it off, sobbing.
“Why did you do that?”
“Because talking to you about it seemed pointless a moment ago.”
“Why didn’t you do it sooner?”
Now Junsu’s jaw dropped. Changmin started sobbing slowly, he looked like he was beyond his boundaries himself.
“I never wanted to do anything to you, I just wanted to be polite but then you started growing on me.” He confessed, “I can’t sleep without your face all over my dream, I see you on every possible surface, I can hear your voice in drizzles, I was so scared.” He started sobbing harder, closing his face with his hands, “I thought you wouldn’t want me, after all, I’m a guy, and a weakling at that. I can never be macho, or at least pretend that I have guts to face anything. I’m a loser.” He sobbed harder, breaking Junsu’s heart even more, “What’s so sexy about me anyway?”
Hearing the last question, Junsu couldn’t contain his laughter. Seeing how Changmin’s face turned into a pout only made things worse as it only made him look cuter. Finally, he wrapped his arms around Changmin tight and whispered in his ear, “You’re my angel, I can never hate you. You’ve stolen my heart ever since we met and I can’t live without you. If you hadn’t called yesterday, I’m probably dead now, sliced my wrist.” He remarked a little bit sad, huggin Changmin tighter.
“…”
“…”
“My mom can come in any time now.”
“Oh!”Junsu tried to moved his body, but Changmin still held his hand.
“Just kidding.” He flashed a cheeky smile. Junsu melt. Changmin’s face was red in love.
“Would you…um, stay with me?” He asked meekly.
“You know the answer to that, baby.” Before Changmin even had the chance to get mad, Junsu sealed his lips already, tongue-locking Changmin.
“Thank you.” Changmin breathed his words in between the barrages of kisses that Junsu unleashed. Junsu just smiled and continued on kissing, just like the rain barraging outside.
The sad song is played perpetually, waiting alone in the cold.
Eventually, the record gets broken, and the song would stop.
But the melody won’t be gone, it will ony change its harmony.
Because the rain will always remember, how sweet love feels.
END OF PART 1
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