(no subject)
I've decided, rather randomly that 2005 has been the year of the most blood shed, on my part. It came to me as I'm sitting here, cleaning my room, and pulling out random bits of blood-stained steril gauze, surgical tape, bloodied tissues, and broken razors. It shocks me to see how much damage I really did to my body over the past year. My left wrist will NEVER look the same... Nor will the sides of my thighs and the insides of my ankles.
I know it's a rather morbid topic. But in cleaning my room, I came to realize how close I came to loosing everything I've worked so hard for, especially my friends.
To those of you whom I've scared in the past year or so, I'm deeply, truely sorry, and I can honestly tell you that it will never happen again if I can control it.
There were days where I didn't think there was much point in breathing, then I'd crawl to my computer, newly bandaged and in minor pain, and IM Jenny or Kelly and things would start to lighten up right away. Then the Bad Thing happened and Jenny and I stopped talking for a bit... That was hard. Roally screwed me over, really. But now it's over and most is forgiven. But those two girls, younger sisters to me in more ways than I dare to count, really mean a lot to me.
Then there's Emmy and Jenna, hilarity in human form, whom I love for everything they are and lots else. FLY FLY FLY FLY! Only virgins go down on the first date! My Magenta and Riff-Raff. Sanity when I need it. I love you both!
Next comes Anthony, Don, and Tiff. Tiff who helped me through the Bad Thing and saved me from a possible record. It amazes me how three people can be so close to me but I learn new things about them as the days go by. When all is said and done, and if everyone else has backed out of my corner, I know for a fact that these three will still there, holding my hand, and occasionally slapping me across the face to bring me back to reality.
Then there's all my MI peoples, who gave me sanity when I needed it the most over the summer. Ally, Adam, Sam and Keely and Kara especially. You all are lifesavers (The cherry kinds!) And i love you all from the bottom of my heart, even if we don't talk as much as we'd like to. I miss you all deeply and can't wait to have a reunion.
And then there's the ones I've had a more difficult time with this year.
Luna, my darling woman who is just as obessed with Vampies as I am. We've had several falling outs so far, but we're once again talking and I miss her a lot.
Dana... Gods, Day... I miss her... Don't know how I'm going to fix things this time. We've both said things that shouldn't have been said, but we can't take them back. What's said is said, but we can try and fix things... at least I hope we can... I miss her... if truth be told...
Anyways... I love everyone and I miss everyone...
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006 HERE WE COME!
I know it's a rather morbid topic. But in cleaning my room, I came to realize how close I came to loosing everything I've worked so hard for, especially my friends.
To those of you whom I've scared in the past year or so, I'm deeply, truely sorry, and I can honestly tell you that it will never happen again if I can control it.
There were days where I didn't think there was much point in breathing, then I'd crawl to my computer, newly bandaged and in minor pain, and IM Jenny or Kelly and things would start to lighten up right away. Then the Bad Thing happened and Jenny and I stopped talking for a bit... That was hard. Roally screwed me over, really. But now it's over and most is forgiven. But those two girls, younger sisters to me in more ways than I dare to count, really mean a lot to me.
Then there's Emmy and Jenna, hilarity in human form, whom I love for everything they are and lots else. FLY FLY FLY FLY! Only virgins go down on the first date! My Magenta and Riff-Raff. Sanity when I need it. I love you both!
Next comes Anthony, Don, and Tiff. Tiff who helped me through the Bad Thing and saved me from a possible record. It amazes me how three people can be so close to me but I learn new things about them as the days go by. When all is said and done, and if everyone else has backed out of my corner, I know for a fact that these three will still there, holding my hand, and occasionally slapping me across the face to bring me back to reality.
Then there's all my MI peoples, who gave me sanity when I needed it the most over the summer. Ally, Adam, Sam and Keely and Kara especially. You all are lifesavers (The cherry kinds!) And i love you all from the bottom of my heart, even if we don't talk as much as we'd like to. I miss you all deeply and can't wait to have a reunion.
And then there's the ones I've had a more difficult time with this year.
Luna, my darling woman who is just as obessed with Vampies as I am. We've had several falling outs so far, but we're once again talking and I miss her a lot.
Dana... Gods, Day... I miss her... Don't know how I'm going to fix things this time. We've both said things that shouldn't have been said, but we can't take them back. What's said is said, but we can try and fix things... at least I hope we can... I miss her... if truth be told...
Anyways... I love everyone and I miss everyone...
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006 HERE WE COME!