fic: Prove Your Hypothesis Right

[secrethappiness]

Title: Prove Your Hypothesis Right
Fandom: SGA (plus an inexplicable appearance by Brian Schechter (manager of My Chemical Romance))
Pairing: Rodney/John
Disclaimer: Not mine, not claiming otherwise
A/N: This is completely and totally for cindyjade in honor of her birthday. L'facers, I'm sorry it's so late but it went and developed a plot when I wasn't looking. I hope you like it. For everyone else, it's an AU kidfic.
Summary: The things he does for a date, Rodney thinks as he picks his way through the crowd of soccer moms. Jeannie has promised him that John, the father of one of Madison's friends, will be at the recital and that's all Rodney needed to hear before he agreed to go.

Prove Your Hypothesis Right

When Rodney decides to move to Vancouver, he envisions a state of the art lab with minions clamoring for his guidance, a penthouse loft overlooking the city, two cats, and someone hot waiting for him at said loft every night.

At no point did he see himself at Madison's dance recital, and yet, here he is. The things he does for a date, Rodney thinks as he picks his way through the crowd of soccer moms. Jeannie has promised him that John, the father of one of Madison's friends, will be at the recital and that's all Rodney needed to hear before he agreed to go.

There's no sign of John yet, and Rodney sighs in annoyance. The last time he saw John was at a barbecue at Jeannie's house a few weeks previous when Rodney managed to insult John, his daughter, and John's taste in movies all in one fell swoop. Even Rodney was a little impressed by his own complete lack of tact.

It probably wouldn't have been so bad if Rodney hadn't insulted John the time before that at Jeannie's baby shower. Rodney's considering telling John that he's no good with small talk, especially because John's distractingly hot and single, but he thinks that might scare him off a bit. Admittedly, he has no proof that John's actually into guys but Rodney thinks with hair like that, John's entertained the thought once or twice, at least.

Jeannie waves at him from a row of seats near the front and Rodney slips in beside her.

"Nice of you to finally show up," she remarks as he gets settled.

"Shut it." He scans the row for John.

"He's backstage with Hannah." Jeannie shakes her head. "Could you be any more obvious?"

Rodney thinks about telling her she's obvious but then he remembers that he's a little too old for that kind of a comeback, and he is kind of obvious when it comes to John. Before he can say anything else or make a comment about Jeannie's increasing size, the lights flicker and John slides into his seat at the end of the row.

Rodney tries to pay attention during the recital, he really does, but it's boring. He knows that Madison comes on stage at some point but she doesn't really dance, just follows the instructor. A couple of the other girls start fighting and one picks her nose throughout the entire thing. In a way, the whole thing reminds Rodney of his grad students at their weekly lab meeting.

Afterwards, when they're all standing around waiting for the kids to come out, John walks up to Rodney and asks, "So, what did you think?"

"I didn't think anything could be more painful than the time Simpson tried to defend her theory of particle dynamics only to discover that she forgot a variable but it turns out I was wrong. This was infinitely worse."

So much for thinking before he speaks.

John's eyebrows shoot up and he doesn't say anything for a few seconds. While Rodney's trying to figure out how to dig himself out of this latest conversational hole, the kids come out from backstage. Hannah (thankfully not the nose-picker) runs up to John and says, "Daddy, Daddy! Did you see me out there?"

John scoops the girl up. "I sure did, sweetie. You did a great job."

She leans her head against John's shoulder and yawns. John palms her head and looks at Rodney. "I know it seemed pretty awful. But trust me, if you had a kid up there, you'd sit through it a million times." Rodney nods mutely and John shrugs. "It was good seeing you."

"You too," Rodney chokes out.

John turns to Jeannie and says, "Hey, we're going to get going. Hannah-banana is pretty tired."

Rodney leaves soon after that, after Madison hugs him and turns his pockets inside out looking for a present. In the grand scheme of things, he's 2 for 4 in terms of getting everything he wanted when he moved back here, and his behavior tonight certainly didn't help anything. At least he's got a nice apartment and the cats might, if Rodney's lucky, acknowledge his presence tonight.

-

Rodney manages to make it a week without thinking about John. Well, without thinking about him much. All right, at no point during the week does he call Jeannie and ask for John's number and that's got to count for something.

On Saturday morning, after he wakes up and remembers that a hypothesis can't be proven wrong if it's never tested, he decides to do some research on John. This necessitates a visit to Jeannie's house bright and early on Saturday morning. He swings by the Dollar Store on the way there and loads up for the visit.

No one answers the door but her car is in the driveway so Rodney pokes his head through her front door and calls out: "Hello?"

A herd of small elephants trundles through the house, pictures on the wall shaking, and Rodney briefly considers closing the door and pretending like he had never been there. Before he can, three little girls run into the front hallway, screech to a halt, and stare open-mouthed at Rodney.

"Uncle Rodney!" Madison detaches herself from the pack and barrels toward Rodney. Thankfully, he's used to this and he locks his knees before Madison slams into them. He learned that lesson the hard way.

"Madison. Hannah. Rebecca," Rodney greets each in turn and they all nod solemnly at him. "Where's your mother, Madison?"

"Crying in the kitchen," she answers. "No one's allowed in there."

"Right, here's some toys." Rodney drops the bag from the dollar store on the floor in front of them. "Go play while I talk to your mother."

"About what?" Rebecca asks.

It's the first time Rodney's ever heard her speak and he stops in the hallway and looks back at her in surprise. "Adult stuff."

"Oh," Rebecca nods.

Rodney continues down the hallway and barges into the kitchen. "Jeannie," he says as he walks in, "I need to know everything you know about John Sheppard."

Jeannie looks up from the cutting board, sniffles and says, "Not now, Rodney."

"Yes, now. C'mon, I need to get close. You're my only option."

"Rodney!" Jeannie slams her hand against the counter. "I am seven months pregnant with a child who believes in kicking my bladder every time I lay down, I haven't talked to my husband in almost a week, and I have three four-year-old girls in my house who need lunch before they have a meltdown, and you're pestering me for information because you've finally decided to rejoin the world and go on a date."

Rodney opens his mouth and shuts it again. Stepping back, he looks at Jeannie and realizes two things. One, somehow she's actually gotten even bigger in the last week, and two, she looks like she hasn't slept in months. She hasn't had circles under eyes like this since her first semester at university. Rodney sighs and shakes his head. He could have told Jeannie this would happen if she got pregnant again but did she ask for his opinion? No.

He's thinking about mentioning this when he sees the knife in her hand, and he decides to keep his mouth shut. Rodney sighs deeply and walks over to the counter. Jeannie sniffles again and leans her head against Rodney's shoulder. "Sorry."

Rodney shrugs her head off his shoulder, grabs the knife and says, "Go sit down. I'll take care of this."

Jeannie rubs his arm and moves over to the kitchen table. "I don't really know anything about John," she says as she lowers herself into the chair. "Just what I told you last week. Hannah's a pretty happy kid, and John's always willing to help out with playgroups and stuff. He just doesn't volunteer a lot of information about himself."

"Hmm," Rodney ponders this as he assembles five peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. "Well, I've done more with less." He slices the crusts off, cuts the sandwiches into fours, and wonders when he got soft.

"Rodney," Jeannie gasps, "I don't feel very good."

Rodney looks up just in time to see her slide to the floor.

-

Seven hours later, after an ambulance ride for Jeannie, and Rodney tracking down Ronon and Teyla to pick up the kids at the hospital and pulling Kaleb out of a seminar, Jeannie is released from the hospital with a prescription for bed-rest for the rest of her pregnancy.

Rodney and Kaleb get her home and put her in bed before they collapse on the couch. Kaleb yawns and says, "Thanks Rodney, we appreciate all your help today."

Rodney flops his hand around and rests his head against the back of the couch.

"So, um, Jeannie and I were... well, we were talking at the hospital. We know you're busy and you've already done a lot for us but, well, we've kind of got a favor to ask," Kaleb stammers.

Oh god. Rodney can see it coming like a freight train but there's no way for him to avoid it.

"With Jeannie being on bed rest and me coming up on the end of the semester, we're going to need some help with Madison."

Rodney opens his mouth to mumble a polite refusal and an offer to pay for a nanny when he stops and thinks. Spending a lot of time with Madison probably means spending a lot of time with Hannah who definitely spends a lot of time with John. Rodney's just desperate enough to volunteer for babysitting if it means stalking John.

"I'll have to check my schedule but I think we can work something out." Rodney's not above using his niece to try and score a date.

-

The following Tuesday finds Rodney at John's house with Madison under one arm and Fluffy under the other. He's got a meeting in thirty minutes all the way across town and even though it kills him to do it, Rodney's planning on shoving Madison at John and taking off.

He rings the doorbell for almost thirty seconds before it's opened by a short guy with long sideburns and a neck tattoo. Rodney hates him immediately.

"Maddykins!!! What are the haps?" Tattooed Guy asks.

Madison wriggles down and replies, "Nothing. What are the haps with you?"

"Aw, same old, same old. Just hanging out with Hannah and Rebecca. Coming in?"

Madison runs past the guy without a goodbye for Rodney. Tattooed Guy looks at Rodney and shrugs, "Kids."

"Right. I don't know who you are or why John's letting you near the children but I'm going to be late for the most important meeting ever so here's Fluffy." Rodney shoves the bunny into the guy's hands. "I'll call John from the road to confirm your identity and if you're some freak, the cops will be here five minutes after I leave."

"So, you're Rodney?" Tattooed Guy asks as he nods and, presumably, tries to look harmless.

Rodney stands up straight. "Doctor Rodney McKay, yes. And you are?"

"Name's Brian." Brian holds out his hand. Rodney glances down quickly, sees more tattoos, and shudders visibly. Brian pulls his hand back. "I'm an old friend of John's. He had to run to work for something but he should be back soon."

"Unhunh." Rodney turns to head down the steps but turns back around before he goes down them. "I'd appreciate it if you could keep my niece from a) hurting herself, b) learning inaccurate information and c) getting a tattoo."

As he's heading to his car, Brian shouts, "It was great meeting you too."

Rodney calls John as soon as he's in the car. John had given Rodney his number over the weekend when Rodney had run into him after dropping Madison at dance practice, and Rodney had explained all about Jeannie. The phone rings a few times and Rodney's expecting to be sent to voicemail when the call is connected and John says, "What's up, Rodney?"

"There's a short tattooed man in your house supervising your daughter, my niece and that strange little girl."

"Rebecca's not strange," John replies automatically. "And Brian's an old friend of mine. We met in freshman year of high school at a skateboarding park."

"Why am I not surprised?"

John huffs in what might be amusement. "Is there a reason why you're calling me?"

"I was checking on Brian," Rodney says defensively. "I can't imagine what he does for a living that he can get away with a neck tattoo so I wanted to make sure he wasn't freshly out of prison."

"Are you still at the house?"

"What? No. I'm on my way to a meeting." Rodney hates Vancouver traffic, hates it, hates it, hates it.

"So clearly you're really worried about Madison being around Brian," John remarks dryly.

"I am! I'm also worried about my meeting."

"Look, I've known him for twenty years, he's a good guy. He manages bands and goes on tour with them. If anyone can corral three five year-olds, it's Brian."

"If you say so."

"Is there anything else, Rodney? Because the longer we're on the phone, the longer I'm at work, and the more time Brian spends with the kids. God only knows what could happen."

"You just said you trusted him!" Rodney yelps.

"But you don't."

"Fine, fine, I'm done. I'll pick up Madison around five." Rodney does not ask if John will be there.

"See you then. Bye."

"Bye."

This continues for another month. Rodney drops Madison off with Brian or John or at Ronon and Teyla's during the week and, in return, he spends his weekends watching the kids and rhapsodizing over how quiet Siberia is in the winter. Jeannie stops fainting, though, and the circles under her eyes clear up a little. At the eight month check-up, baby and mother are in excellent condition and Rodney gives himself a mental high-five that he only has one more month of this.

Unfortunately, this also means that he only has one more month of almost-daily exposure to John. Rodney hasn't had much luck figuring out where he stands with John so far. He's friendly to Rodney whenever they see each other and he occasionally says something that makes Rodney think maybe but there's never anything more.

After careful consideration, Rodney decides that it's time to step up his game, and he starts hanging around John's house longer and longer when he picks Madison up in the evening. Considering that Rodney usually sits in his car and honks the horn until they send Madison out, John and Brian look at him funny when Rodney actually comes in the house and encourages Madison to play longer with Hannah. Rodney's nothing if not persistent though, and he keeps at it.

John opens up after awhile, starts talking more about himself and Hannah. It turns out that John majored in engineering just to make his father happy but actually wound up liking it, enough to get a few extra degrees in it, and now he has his own firm. The night that Rodney learns John has a master's degree just so happens to be the first night he jerks off thinking about John.

Brian stays with John and Hannah between tours and gigs and all the various things that a band manager does. Rodney doesn't get how people take Brian seriously with his neck tattoo until the day he sees a picture of his band, all of whom are just as tattooed as Brian. Rodney tells him that like attracts like and Brian laughs at him.

The one thing John never talks about is his wife, and, as far as Rodney can tell, there aren't any pictures of her in the house. In a way, he's a little disappointed because Rodney wanted to know what his competition was. All John says is that he and Hannah had moved to Vancouver after she died.

One night, after a day of fighting with the department head over his grad students (Rodney might not like his students but that doesn't mean the department can cut their tuition waivers halfway through the semester), Rodney gets to John's house later than usual. John takes one look at him and says, "Why don't you guys stay for dinner?"

Rodney opens his mouth to protest and Madison says, "Please, Uncle Rodney, please?"

"The emotional terrorist otherwise known as my niece wins again," Rodney says.

"Great. Rodney, want to help me with dinner? " John waves him to the back of the house.

Rodney can put together a mean PB and J but he still doesn't really know his way around a kitchen so he doesn't really help much. Instead, he hovers over John's shoulder and reminds John of all his allergies.

Brian walks into the kitchen at one point when Rodney is going over a detailed list of things that contain lemon, and he stares at Rodney for a second before he says, "Rodney, were you born a pain in the ass or did it happen when your balls dropped?"

John laughs, a deep, braying, incredibly unsexy laugh, and Rodney flinches as a wave of lust hits him.

Rodney shoots Brian a look and replies, "At least mine dropped. I doubt you can you say the same."

Brian catches Rodney's eye after John turns back to the stove. He pointedly glances between the two of them and makes a face, and Rodney chooses to interpret this as a sign that not only has Brian figured out Rodney's plan, but he also won't hesitate to hurt him if he hurts John. Rodney scowls at Brian and turns his back on him.

After dinner's over and the girls and Brian are curled up the couch watching a cartoon, John makes coffee for them. Halfway through, after he's put the coffee in the filter, John stops and rubs his eyes.

"Everything okay?" Rodney asks.

"Yeah, I'm just tired. Hannah's not sleeping very well so I'm not sleeping well. Being a single parent sucks, you know?" John fills the pot up with water and pours it into the maker. He flips the switch and turns around to face Rodney. "Even with Brian here to help out, it's still hard. And he's leaving in a week, for awhile this time, so it'll be just the two of us again."

Rodney leans against the counter next to John. He doesn't really know what to say. He's spent a lot of time with Madison and it's absolutely exhausting but at least he gets to drop her off with Kaleb every night. He doesn't get how John has the energy to keep going.

John looks up and smiles. "Could be worse, right? There could be no Hannah."

If someone asked Rodney why he did what he did next, he wouldn't be able to answer. He sees the crinkles around John's eyes, hears the affection in John's voice for Hannah, and Rodney moves automatically, pushing himself off the counter to kiss John. At first, it's just lips pressing against lips. John doesn't move and Rodney decides that if he didn't want to be kissed, he would have pushed Rodney off already. He deepens the kiss a little, lets his teeth graze John's lip.

John shudders and steps back. "I think you need to go."

"John." Rodney's stomach drops. "I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking. Let's just pretend it never happened."

"You should go." John won't look at him. He turns to look out the kitchen window, his hands holding onto the counter like he's going to fall without the support, his shoulders up by his ears.

"John," Rodney begs.

"Get out, McKay."

Rodney stumbles his way down the hall and into the living room where he scoops Madison into his arms and says, "Say goodnight to Brian and Hannah, Maddie."

Madison mumbles something and Rodney grabs their coats and heads for the door.

"Rodney," Brian follows him. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, everything's fine. 'Night." Rodney's pretty proud of the fact that he manages to get that much out without choking.

After he deposits Madison into Kaleb's arms, Rodney drives home. At his apartment building, he turns the car off but stays in his car and rests his head heavily on the steering wheel.

Somehow, somewhere along the way, John's become Rodney's friend, one of the few he has in the city, and Rodney's pretty certain he just completely messed that up. Although John's certainly easy to look at when the girls won't stop talking about ponies, Rodney's genuinely interested in him: he's intelligent in ways that Rodney would have never guessed, he unabashedly loves cheesy sci-fi movies, and his daughter is his number one priority. And now, now Rodney's gone and ruined it all, the friendship and whatever else could have come out of it.

Goddammit.

-

Jeannie goes into labor on a Thursday night and gives birth early Saturday morning.

Rodney and John haven't spoken in the week since Rodney's stupid attempt at a stupid kiss so he's really not looking forward to seeing John that Saturday morning, when he's supposed to drop Hannah at Jeannie's house for a play date. Thankfully, it's Brian at the front door.

"Hey man," Brian nods while Hannah runs into the house, yelling for Madison.

"Hi," Rodney gives a small wave and starts to shut the door.

"Hang on," Brian sticks his foot in the doorway. "Can we talk on the porch for a second?"

Knowing his luck, Brian's probably here to defend John's honor or something. Rodney shrugs and steps out. Maybe if he ducks, Brian will take pity on him.

"John told me what happened between you two." Brian shoves his hands in his pockets.

Rodney rolls his eyes. "Look, I'm sorry if I violated some straight guy code or something." He hasn't dealt with straight guy freak-outs for years. They're still tedious. "I really thought he was at least bi and I promise I'll never bother him again. Please don't punch me."

Brian snorts. "John's totally bi, dude. When he called to tell me he was getting married, I pretty shocked. I mean, I honestly thought he had come out of the closet a year before that."

"So he's just not attracted to me! I still don't think you should punch me."

"I'm not going to punch you." Brian takes a deep breath. "Look, John's wife fucked him over six ways to Sunday. I know it's not nice to speak ill of the dead but Karen really was a Class-A bitch." He stares off into the distance. "She was John's last attempt at women, he only dated her to make his dad happy. She got pregnant a couple of months after they started dating, so he did the right thing and married her. A week after the wedding, she had a miscarriage."

Rodney makes a noise in his throat and Brian nods. "Yeah, I know, right? They were married for two years before she got pregnant again, and that only happened when she conned John into bed one last time before he filed for divorce. When he found out she was pregnant, John stopped the divorce and moved back into their condo. Then she died while giving birth, and now it's just John and Hannah."

"Jesus." Rodney sits down on the porch chair.

"I know he freaked out on you last week but I just thought that you should know that you're the first person other than me or Hannah who's touched him in five years."

"Why did you tell me all this?" Rodney stares up at Brian.

"I'm rooting for you."

"Even though I'm a pain in the ass?" Rodney asks.

Brian grins and shrugs. "I think you care about John and Hannah. That's something Karen never did. Besides, if you fuck it up, which I don't think you will, I'll kill you."

Rodney figures this is the best chance he'll have to ask Brian about something that's been bugging him. "Did you and John ever ..., you know?"

"All I'll say is, we spent a lot of time at that skate park in high school, and we were only skating about half the time." Brian's grin is all teeth. "We stopped after I dropped out of high school; John's dad started grounding him to keep him from hanging out, he thought I was a bad influence or something. Besides, it was fun, but kind of like making out with my brother? Not really my scene."

Rodney stands up and rubs his hands against his pants. "Thanks, I guess."

Brian claps his hand on Rodney's shoulder. "By the way, if you ever tell John that I told you any of this, I'll deny it and then tell him that you jerk off to a picture of him every night."

If Brian's blackmail tactics are anything to go by, Rodney suspects that he never has any problems with his band. "You know, if you ever want to get off the road, I've got a lab that could use your skills."

"Nah, I couldn't give up my guys," Brian laughs, "I'll see you later."

Rodney waves as Brian steps off the porch. Inside he can hear the girls screaming over something. Rodney squares his shoulders, reminds himself that he loves Jeannie, and opens the front door.

That night, when Ronon and Teyla come to get Rebecca, Rodney cons them into taking the girls out for pizza. Teyla arches her eyebrow at him and asks, "Shall I call John and tell him about the change in plans?"

"No, no!" Rodney laughs nervously. "He's probably halfway here already, that would be silly. You guys go ahead with the girls, and when he gets here, we'll come meet you. How's that?"

Teyla protests and pulls out her phone but before she can dial John's number, Ronon says, "Rodney's got a thing for John, and he wants us to leave before John shows up so he can go for it."

Rodney's whole face heats up and Teyla laughs.

"I see," she says while she grabs the girls' coats. "If you two do not join us at the restaurant, we'll call before we come back so we do not surprise anyone. Girls, please, come get ready!"

Madison, Hannah, and Rebecca rush into the hallway and line up in front of Ronon and Teyla who hustle them into their coats and gloves. Before he opens the door, Rodney checks them over to make sure no one's leaving the house with any contraband like Play-Doh.

"Have a good time," Rodney says as everyone files past them. As soon as the door shuts behind them, he straightens up and tries to scrub lunch off his shirt.

The doorbell rings a lot sooner than Rodney was expecting and his shirt's still a little wet. He wipes his hands on his pants before he grips the knob and pulls the door open. John's on the porch, staring at the front yard. He turns around at the sound of the door opening and smiles tightly at Rodney. There are bags under his eyes and his hair is flopping around a bit more than normal but he looks fine otherwise. Rodney hates him a little bit for it.

John clears his throat. "Is Hannah ready?"

"Actually, Ronon and Teyla decided to take the girls out for pizza tonight. We decided that I should just wait here for you here and then we can head over together. Is that all right?"

"Yeah, sure. Do you have Hannah's bag?"

Rodney hands it to him and grabs his coat. As he's locking the door behind them, he looks at John and says, "Look, about the other night -"

John stops on the front steps and looks back. "What about it?"

Anything Rodney was planning on saying completely flies out of his head at John's blank expression. Instead he shakes his head and says, "Nothing."

John nods and continues down the steps. As he reaches the sidewalk, Rodney realizes that John hasn't made eye contact with him once since he got to the house. Even just now, John had been looking past Rodney's shoulder. It's as though he's afraid to make eye contact, afraid of what Rodney might see if John lets him.

All this time, Rodney's been trying to find the right words to get through to John and it's only now that he realizes John listens to actions and not words.

John's on the sidewalk, heading towards his car when Rodney catches up to him and grabs him by the shoulder. John stumbles from the impact. "Ow! Rodney, what are you doing? Get off."

John's center of gravity is off and Rodney takes advantage of that to pull him closer. He steadies John with a hand on his hip before he takes a deep breath and jumps.

Rodney wants to say I like you. I want you. I don't care about any of that other crap. He doesn't though. What he does do is kiss John and hope he hears everything Rodney's not saying.

The first few seconds of the kiss are just like the last one, Rodney doing all the work and John slack-jawed against him. Rodney's beginning to feel like a complete idiot when he feels John's body shift against his. Just as Rodney's realizing that John's not pushing him away, John's kissing him back. If Rodney listens close enough, he can hear John say I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.

It's hard and messy and pretty much perfect. Rodney's dimly aware of John pushing him back toward the house but Rodney doesn't know they're back at the front porch until John pulls away and gasps, "Up the stairs, Rodney. C'mon, up."

"What?" It's pretty unfair of John to ask Rodney to carry out complex commands when he's got his hand in Rodney's back pocket and is biting Rodney's neck.

John pulls his head up and replies, "Let's take this inside before the neighbors call the cops."

"Why?"

John laughs and Rodney shudders a little. John's laugh really should be such a turn-off and yet it's not. "Why are they going to call the cops or why should we take this inside?"

"Both. The second one. I don't know." Sometime soon, Rodney's going to remember how to speak.

"We should take this inside because we probably don't have too long before the girls come back and I've got a few things I'd like to try out before they do." John presses a quick kiss on Rodney.

Rodney thinks about stopping things and asking John if they should talk about everything. They need to figure things out and Rodney really doesn't want any more freak-outs. Before he can say any of this, John looks at him and whispers, "It'll be okay, trust me."

And Rodney does.

"Let's go." He pulls the keys out of his pocket, jumps up the steps, and moves across the porch to the front door. John's next to him the whole way.

A/N: kickthebeat, belladonnalin, and algernon-mouse for looked this over and made it less awkward and so much better than it was. Seriously, they rock.