Stories told on the defense of the male species (I can't believe I actually have to do this)
Yeah so. Hi. This is me, majorly pissed off. I am under absolutely no illusion that my writings in this humble blog has caught the attention of so many readers but I fear my indignation on such topic as this frightfully annoying article (the words annoyingly facetious, demeaning, immature and absolutely insulting to about half the human population and probably some of the other half comes to mind) has risen to such heights that I cannot believe I missed out on this in the first place. I do not know if my anger is justly placed but it exists and therefore, I want to punch someone.
I am not usually this mean so if you think you (writer of later-mentioned book and article) or you (fans of book and article) will be offended, I am sorry. Sorry that I will offend you and make you mad and pissed off but yeah. Suck it up or don't read this.
Now. I trust my friend need_tea with all of my heart. I believe in her opinion of books and while I may not always agree with her, I have to say that most of the time, our opinion gells. So when I read her review of HALO, I wholeheartedly supported her. I for one, refused to read the book particularly of my stand to avoid all books involving angels and vampires, partially because I though I should get started on reading other books that are way out of my comfort zone and also because of the strange flood of books on vampires and angels (the dead/apocalypse phase has started but its not as prominent as that of the holy guardians and damned - funny how they go together).
Then I stumble acrossthis link in the article. This link. This gateway to an article of words that is insulting and kind of mean. I don't know if you like this kind of thing but this article really annoyed the heck out of me. Sorry, yeah I know that we are all entitled to our own opinions and that yours are based off some kind of different logic (odd and mean logic) - so here is my own piece of (probably weird and strange and equally screwed up logic, depending on your denomination of logic) and you're going to hear me out.
According to you, all boys at this age have been sorted and slotted into these tiny little departments like socks or colour coordinated shirts or like we're in the MATCHED universe or something. Each boy is either A) obssessed with himself, B) obssessed with what his friends think of himself and C) generally a mess because he can't be slotted into boxes A and B. Isn't this unfair?? Isn't this a sexist sort of thinking towards our fellow male counterparts?
Usually, when we say sexist, it's towards males who are chauvinistic bitches who can't see beyond their own egos. Yeah, okay, sure, there are men that are sexist and totally engrossed in their mirrors or friends. But how small is that small minority you mentioned?? Are the numbers of men that are generally useless to boosting female egos really that small?
Yes, I did say that. Boosting female egos - because, if your Edward Cullen theory is right, then our boyfriends, our husbands and our significant others, serve as nothing but ego boosters. We want someone to tell us we are beautiful, that they can't live without us, to make us feel like absolute crap so that the next boy that comes around and fixes you seems like an even better ego booster. If you wanted someone to tell you you are beautiful, tell you that - what was it? -' you shot across my sky like a meteor', then get a tape recorder, say wonderful things about yourself and what you want to hear and play it over and over again when you feel like your ego isn't being stroked enough.
Because, my dear friends, that's what you think a boy should be. You don't want a boyfriend - you want this:
You want someone to open doors for you? Go down to a local hotel and wait for the bellboy to do it for you.
Yeah, I get it, boys don't do that anymore these days. They don't pull out chairs and open car doors or lend you their arms when you come down a spiral staircase. Too bad. The boys in the age of Edward Cullen's birth (the 1900s, if you remember correctly) don't exist anymore. They were brought up to be like that. The boys of our generation are brought up in the age where we see women running for presidency or leading countries or kicking the shit out of men athletic records. They are not taught to treat women like fragile little porcelain dolls or as glass figurines that will crack at a raised voice.
That, my friend, was how they viewed women. That was why they opened doors for us - some guys do it because they think it's gentlemanly. It is. But don't expect every guy to do it. They weren't raised to do that. Boys these days are raised to see women as equals and yes, damn if I don't want a guy opening doors for me but I know it's not likely.
Isn't it more wonderful to find a boy who will open doors for you because they like you, not because they were raised to do it?
Now, arguing about Edward Cullen, sure, okay he is supposed to be an adorable hunk and he controls his anger around the woman he loves but loses his temper when a girl gets hurt. Oh, so boys these days don't do this too? The perfect boy is supposed to watch you when you sleep and think about what you are dreaming? Newsflash, do you want a zombie for a boyfriend? Because if he spends all his time watching you sleep, that's what you are going to get.
I don't believe down grading and underplaying the great guys of our time is going to fix anything. Moaning about the fact that he can't pick you up and toss you over his shoulder (does that make Edward Cullen a Neanderthal then? Because he did that with Bella and that's almost caveman-like. No, wait, it is caveman-like!) and run at superhuman speed and cater to you whenever you need saving from other vampires you pissed off is not the way to go about it.
What happened to boys who were sweet or nice underneath the exterior of the drunken frat kid? Or the shy kid you never really thought you would fall in love with? These aren't a minority - this is part of the bigger piece of society you've chosen to ignore? What happened to the boy who was a bit to engrossed in himself - but maybe that was because no one really thought to dig deeper. Truthfully, you're looking at Edward on the surface. Ever though about why he picked up Bella and ran like a super train? To impress her?
What about the guys who stick wedding proposals on billboards to impress her? Sure they don't have super human strength but they have super human hearts. Which, admittedly, was something the article never touched on. What about the guys who have hearts bigger than anything that the fictional world could come up with?
I am not saying that all guys are good. I have always said that boys are kind of useless and self-serving and egotistical and crap but I, personally, wouldn't want a guys like Edward Cullen. It's positively frightening - he's so perfect that I would pale so far in comparison, I might as well be bleach. Awkward conversations and ramblings are a part of life and its these exchanges that make life so wonderful and colourful.
Bella and Edward's exchanges might have, in real life, been as awkward as the ones we have. We cannot forget that that is fiction and in fiction, we tend to leave the boring stuff out - the 'ums' and 'ahs' that go into normal conversations. Isn't the nerves of meeting a boy and having awkward conversations what we look back on and laugh at, pointing at them and thinking, yeah, that was great!
Doesn't the prize won taste all the better when it's wrested from the clutches of confused conversation and misplaced words? And if the guys is right for you, then the conversation won't be so awkward, now will it?
The boy with the toilet paper on the bedside may prove to be endearing to a girl meant for him - this does not give you the right to degrade him siply because he does not meet your (impossible) standards of perfection. The imperfections of that special someone is something you fill because his perfections fill your cracks. That makes him perfect for you.
Love is not something you base off first sight (no matter how reliable you rate that to be) or how he treats you on your first date or if he opens the doors for you or pulls out chairs for you or calls you his star, moon, sun or cloud. Love is odd, strange, terrifying and it most certainly does not care if you pull out a chair for it or not.
We woud all love to have the boy that looks at us like we are his everything and buys us presents when we least expect it and calls us beautiful everyday and commits to us like we are a beloved football game or business meeting. We all want it because we know it's so unlikely and rare for us to find that one person. But we don't need all that in our true loves. We need someone who will love us no matter what.
Love is the wish for someone's happiness above all else.
You're not wishing for someone's happiness above all else when you are asking for the boy who does things for you and strokes your ego. You are wishing for your own happiness. Maybe Edward was so ready to commit because he never found someone worth committing to until Bella. You can't tell me that Edward is not a commitment-phobe - if he wasn't, he would have committed to Rosaline way before he met Bella.
Believe me when I say that I do not think all boys are perfect. There are not going to be boys that want to keep you relationshio chaste or keep themselves looking like everyday is prom or speak with a tinge of a cultured accent. The ways of the world have changed how boys and people and in general act. But there are still boys who are sweet and kind in how they treat a girl. There are boys who like to keep looking good (doesn't this mean that Edward is a kind of metro-man??) and there are boys who like to just sit with his girl and talk about what they are going to do with the roll of toilet paper on his bedside table.
No one is perfect. So far, the only flaw I found in Edward while reading the series is his obnoxious sense of propriety and animalistic sense of possessiveness.
We have boys that are perfectly mature but we refuse to see them becase it is easier to generalize the whole lot of them. We think that girls are terribly mature. Well, not all of them are. Some of them are just as immature and disgusting as boys. We just close our eyes at them. What sort of thinking is this? Don't some girls find a fart fun? Or that sexual innuendoes are okay? (heck, Hollywood comedies love the fart joke and is full of sexual innuendos - should we compare them to the prefect face of Edward Cullen as well?)
Give your boys a little more credit. A lot of them are a decent lot. There are other guys, you know.
And don't girls give conflicting messages too? We are full of it! Boys and girls - we are so much more similar than we would care to admit.
Edward Cullen has not raised the bar - he has simply created a whole new group that some sect of society believes to be what it means to be a real awesome guy. Yes, Edward Cullen has given us a reprieve from reality - but you know what? The psychologists are right. We need to stop projecting our fictional image of what a boy should be on our perfectly imperfect males. I love fiction - but I don't want to live in a world where fiction dictates everything I do.
Romanticism is nice - but I don't want to grow old with it.
Neither do I want Edward 'Marty Sue' Cullen.
P.S. I am sorry this is so long.