Not Quite Sure why..
I just can't sleep. I'm everywhere with words but I hope everyone understands I'm not confused and I'm happy.I love writing poetry and breaking up language, staging it, breaking it and making it dark and deranged sometimes. Other times, I enjoy romanticizing life and having nature absorb my bones and enlighten me with a pretty moment in bending dawn light. But I don't think this is a night to shed poetics and abstract how I'm really feeling inside. This is more than being pretentious and taking the superficiality of language to the literary moment.
The journal entry begins here:
I'm twice as alive and aware of the bigger picture. My puzzle is forming and I'm beginning to see it all. I think it's going to take a while to get used to journaling again and really lose myself with what I can and can't see in my own words. Wow. Time is like jazz music in the 1950's (you lose yourself in it). So I'm finally done with UCSD as of yesterday at 9:30 or so when I finished my last final. It's been a chaotic quarter full of too much work, little sleep, and just emotional ups and downs but I am finally up on a high of life. I found out that I'm the strongest and the weakest person, and that life is so much more than I even imagined it being. I guess these are my writerly growing up moments that I accept whole heartedly. What's a good image to put in your mind to understand what this experience has been like for me? I've been moving forward, tortured to the chains of school, in love and far away from it.
At my most beautiful with my Yenny. I'm in love and it's been hard because you can't always get full inside 126.22 miles away. But the time has come, and now the future of being nearer is nearer. And nearer, because when I get a job I will be financially okay. I was working on my resume today and will be submitting it to jobs that I find appealing. Love is really beautiful and caring. Love is fun and true. Yenny makes me smile and only with her I am at my most beautiful. Full spirited, completed.
In my previous entry I wrote, "In my time of change and need" and realize that it's going to be like that for a while. But it's okay. The time is fully realized, summer is leaking out of the sky, and now I am only imagining what my commencement ceremony will look like inside and out. College is an important experience mostly because we are influenced by our dreams and ideals more than by the reality of how difficult it is to come to what you want in life. I'm catching up to everything. I'm in a moment when I'm full of determination and ambition understanding it all. Understanding it all makes it so much more like what it should be like. It's more than tank topin' and flip floppin' to me. I'm ready to live life and love, and to move upward in my career.
The journal entry begins here:
I'm twice as alive and aware of the bigger picture. My puzzle is forming and I'm beginning to see it all. I think it's going to take a while to get used to journaling again and really lose myself with what I can and can't see in my own words. Wow. Time is like jazz music in the 1950's (you lose yourself in it). So I'm finally done with UCSD as of yesterday at 9:30 or so when I finished my last final. It's been a chaotic quarter full of too much work, little sleep, and just emotional ups and downs but I am finally up on a high of life. I found out that I'm the strongest and the weakest person, and that life is so much more than I even imagined it being. I guess these are my writerly growing up moments that I accept whole heartedly. What's a good image to put in your mind to understand what this experience has been like for me? I've been moving forward, tortured to the chains of school, in love and far away from it.
At my most beautiful with my Yenny. I'm in love and it's been hard because you can't always get full inside 126.22 miles away. But the time has come, and now the future of being nearer is nearer. And nearer, because when I get a job I will be financially okay. I was working on my resume today and will be submitting it to jobs that I find appealing. Love is really beautiful and caring. Love is fun and true. Yenny makes me smile and only with her I am at my most beautiful. Full spirited, completed.
In my previous entry I wrote, "In my time of change and need" and realize that it's going to be like that for a while. But it's okay. The time is fully realized, summer is leaking out of the sky, and now I am only imagining what my commencement ceremony will look like inside and out. College is an important experience mostly because we are influenced by our dreams and ideals more than by the reality of how difficult it is to come to what you want in life. I'm catching up to everything. I'm in a moment when I'm full of determination and ambition understanding it all. Understanding it all makes it so much more like what it should be like. It's more than tank topin' and flip floppin' to me. I'm ready to live life and love, and to move upward in my career.