catching up
yah ok pretty much heres my life up to a few weeks ago... from when I last posted>.>
I would work play WoW get drunk and sleep somewhere in between. I have worked a few jobs none of them are good ones few of them decent paying. as I saw less and less of my friends due to bad timing or what have you(mostly my denial of an addiction). I stopped going out to the bar, not because I wasnt having fun or because the people were boring(quite the contrary to be honest) I felt out of place but more so felt the need to be put out of that place, hell if i knew why... or know why today. I feel I just needed to hit rock bottom and today that may have just happened, but i digress, I feel as tho I might not actually feel the need to shy away from what has become of my shit hole of a life... I recognize the reason my quality of living has decreased is of my own doing, tho I know that little can be done to reverse what has been done but I shall try to make some changes for the better... I have been watching a lot of movies in the last few days and I feel a lot more... attuned as it were to the world around me... no I do not mean I feel like they gave me sense of reality just from watching them, more i think they restored my once keen sense for logic and many of my ... i want to say theories but really they were never gone to begin with only difference was they were being listened to very different people, people too much like what i fear to become. I hope none of the people reading this hope to understand what I am saying because it is only in my mind that this rambling will make any sort of sense... but I guess i am done but for how long...
Hopefully i will have more logical and sensical entries to come>.>
I would work play WoW get drunk and sleep somewhere in between. I have worked a few jobs none of them are good ones few of them decent paying. as I saw less and less of my friends due to bad timing or what have you(mostly my denial of an addiction). I stopped going out to the bar, not because I wasnt having fun or because the people were boring(quite the contrary to be honest) I felt out of place but more so felt the need to be put out of that place, hell if i knew why... or know why today. I feel I just needed to hit rock bottom and today that may have just happened, but i digress, I feel as tho I might not actually feel the need to shy away from what has become of my shit hole of a life... I recognize the reason my quality of living has decreased is of my own doing, tho I know that little can be done to reverse what has been done but I shall try to make some changes for the better... I have been watching a lot of movies in the last few days and I feel a lot more... attuned as it were to the world around me... no I do not mean I feel like they gave me sense of reality just from watching them, more i think they restored my once keen sense for logic and many of my ... i want to say theories but really they were never gone to begin with only difference was they were being listened to very different people, people too much like what i fear to become. I hope none of the people reading this hope to understand what I am saying because it is only in my mind that this rambling will make any sort of sense... but I guess i am done but for how long...
Hopefully i will have more logical and sensical entries to come>.>