Farrago
[The Tovarishch Meeting will now be on Friday. I are exhausted.]
So teeny!Chulu have been living in my purse for the past three weeks. Every now and then teeny!Chekov will somehow remove himself from the pocket he shares with tiny!Sulu and ends up at the bottom of my purse. It's only ever teeny!Chekov, never tiny!Sulu, although once tiny!Sulu's head was poking out of the pocket as if he were looking for his bb.
I have come to the only logical conclusion. Whenever they have an argumnt teeny!Chekov storms off but forgets he's too teeny to climb back in when he's calmed down.
Oh boys! Am I going to have to get Errol to give you a talking to?
Remember that The one where meme. Two of the four prompts I got involved Good Omens/Star Trek settings. Of course, that got me thinking... What would a Good Omens/Star Trek Cross Over be like if I wrote it?
I don't know whether this would happen after the canon events of Good Omens or it they didn't happen at all but it isn't important.
Premise:
The antichrist is born - and he's Pavel Chekov!
Andrei Chekov is an important diplomat/politician so they swap the demon baby with his child. (The orginal Pavel Chekov gets adopted and nice things happen to him so it's okay!) However in a move that the demons didn't see coming Andrei becomes an ambassador and gets sent to various planets. Now Angels and Demons do exist on all planets but they are not allowed to interfere in planets they are not assigned to - so the Terran Demons cannot follow Pavel to Vulcan, the responsibility must be passed on to the Vulcan Demons and so on.
Unfortunately, the Chekovs do a lot of moving about - they barely spend more than a few months on a planet before moving onto the next (there's some sort of tour, IDK) and as Heaven/Hell are at heart bureaucracies the paperwork takes forever to get done. In fact sometimes the Chekovs have already moved on while they're still processing the transfer papers.
In short, Pavel grows up without any demonic (or angelic) inteference. Eventually they lose track of him all together/get fed up and stop trying. Pavel's due to come into his full powers on his eighteenth birthday. They figure it will all become clear when it happens. After all, he can't deny his nature, can he?
However like Adam, Pavel is able to influence things without realising he is, so he has an idyllic childhood and everyone loves him and thinks he's the cutest thing ever. He's also something of a brat.
When he's fourteen Pavel decides he wants to go to Starfleet so he's obviously accepted straight away. Pavel also has a weakness for Adventure/Action books/films/media, so conveniently his first year of service he gets involved in the Adventure to end all Adventures and he even saves the day multiple times (The events of the 2009 movie). Pavel's also attracted to sword weilding ninja cowboy types, so he is pleased but not terribly surprised when handsome pilot Hikaru Sulu takes an interest in him.
Sulu is slightly puzzled as to what's come over him, because while Chekov is definitely his type, he normally would not go after a seventeen year old, but now he finds himself unable to stop pursuing Chekov and WTF he does not want to "ravish" Chekov, what the hell is "ravish"ing anyway? Who says "ravish" in this day and age, "OH HAI PAVEL. I WISH TO RAVISH YOU NOW!"
So yeah, basically Chekov wants to be pursued with a short period of heavy flirting (and dry humping) followed by much "ravishing", which, as usual, he more or less gets.
Enter Aziraphale and Crowley, who have relocated to SF for some reason. Maybe Crowley goes for the nightlife and Azi gets lonely so he goes too. Maybe they get sent there by the powers that be. They start picking up this presence, they're not sure what it is, but it isn't natural.
They track it down to Pavel who is just so darned cute (it gets him his own way) that they have no idea if he's a demon or an angel. He's too cute to be demonic but far too cute to be angelic either. Nobody seems to know what he is.
Anyway Chekov and Sulu are a bit WTF about it but think Crowly and Azi are a couple of nutters. Then they leave for their 5 year mission.
Azi and Crowley have a bad feeling about this so they get themselves assigned to the Enterprise and follow him, cos when did they ever care about protocol?
[Okay, when did Crowley ever care about protocol and he drags Azi with him: "You mean you're going to stay here and make me do this all on my own!? *woobie snakey eyes*"]
Pavel turns 18 and the hell hound is released! Pavel turns him into... *drumroll* WEIRD DOG! Shut up! Weird Dog would be the best trusty talking animal sidekick EVARRR!!!
The strange things start happening even more than usual. If someone has an argument with Chekov they end up stuck in the dilithium chambers. Chekov gets high and wishes that they could go to a planet that was a giant brownie and then they find one. They run into General Trelane (IDK the bb Q or one of the other Aliens with mad powers) and Chekov completely pwns them somehow.
Azi and C are pretty much convinced and they grab Hikaru who is beginning to notice something is not quite right about his boyfriend. There is a confrontation, where Chekov loses his temper and orders Hikaru to do something [Sit Down! or Shut Up! for eg] and Sulu finds himself responding. Both Chekov and Sulu are horrified. Sulu because he realises he's being manipulated and probably has been all along and Chekov because dude... no, he wasn't supposed to do that, he didn't know he could and he doesn't want this and bawwww he's sorry.
Sulu bolts cos he can't deal with this right now and Chekov thinks he's blown everything and just loses it. Rain of fire! Churning Oceans! Mass Hysteria! Dogs and cats living together! Total madness!
Crowley tries to calm him down while Azi runs off to get Sulu to "turn it off!" Sulu does eventually calm Chekov down and they make up with much angst and snuggles.
BUT
other people have noticed.
There's a freaking intergalactic incident. Starfleet and all the other non-Starfleet alligned planets like Klingon, Romulus and that giant brownie planet want a piece of Chekov so they can contain him/study him/use him to take over the universe. Heaven is pissed and wants to kill him. Hell is pissed because he hasn't destroyed the universe properly and they want him to finish the job. Of course the ASTRONAUTS OF THE APOCALYPSE show up.
So Azi and Crowley take Sulu and Chekov and run. Maybe with the rest of the Enterprise (Kirk/Spock/Bones/et al) helping.
I don't know what happens next. I didn't think of it. LOL, maybe that's the sequel hook. No, I'm not gonna write it, but if you would like to, go ahead.
Anway; have a couple of snippets, both rated PG-13.
For ilovetakahana, The one where Aziraphale and Crowley have a go at Chekov for being entirely too cute.
"I mean, it's unnatural," Crowley explained. "You must understand what I'm saying!"
The boy cocked his head to one side like a small, confused, baby animal.
"But I do not understand! Please, Mr Crowley - "
"See, this is the thing I'm talking about, Angel," Crowley said. "The eyes, the hair, the wounded puppy expression, it's demonic, that's what it is!"
"What is so demonic about my hair?"
"Oh come now," said Aziraphale. "I would hardly call it demonic!"
"Would you call it angelic?"
"Well, no. You are right. It's far too unnatural, the - the - what's the word for it, my dear?"
"Cute!" Crowley spat the word out like it was a curse. "You're just too fucking cute, kid. You gotta stop it. It's got everyone wanking up a storm as to what you are!"
"What I am?"
"You ain't human, that's for sure!"
"I am not an alien!"
"Now Crowley, don't distress the boy, dear." Aziraphale patted Chekov's sleeve. "We don't mean that you're an alien, but well, how do I put this delicately - it's pretty obvious that your something ethereal or occult. We're just not sure which one."
"And we can go back to happily ignoring you, if you'd just stop being so damned cute! So, stop it!"
And for littlewolfstar, THE ONE WHERE SULU AND CROWLEY HAVE A HEATED DEBATE ABOUT THE PROPER WAY TO NURTURE VIOLETS. \0/
And maybe Azi and Chekov can look on and be amused and have tea wodka.
"Every gardner I know has said you should talk to your plants,' said Crowley, reasonably. "I have citations!"
"Talk, yes!" Sulu said, incensed. "Not threaten!"
"It works, doesn't it!"
"That isn't the point!" Sulu looked like he was about to start shouting, but he checked himself. "Okay, here's the thing," he continued in a much calmer tone, but Chekov could tell he was on the verge of bursting. "The thing is: plants have feelings, you can't just treat them like -"
"I'm a demon!"
"That doesn't mean that you have to be an asshole!"
"Yes it does! It's practically the job description!"
Chekov sighed. When Hikaru got a bee in his bonnet about plants, he could be at it for hours.
Aziraphale handed him a cup of tea. "Oh dear," he said. "I wish they wouldn't fight. Crowley simply won't be moved on the issue."
"Neither will Hikaru," said Chekov, gloomily. He sniffed disdainfully at the tea. He needed something stronger, he wished he could just turn it to - oh, hang on - he could change it to something stronger.
Aziraphale sipped at what he thought was tea, choked and only the fact that he was a gentlman - gentleman shaped being, at any rate - prevented him from spitting it out.
"What did you do to - "
"Wodka," said Pavel Chekov, happily. "I could get used to this."
Aziraphale looked at him disapprovingly. "Water into wine is one thing," he said. "But tea into wod-vodka is a beastly thing to do!"
Chekov snorted, "If I am the antichrist," he said, snottily. "Is that not in the job description?"
Aziraphale's eyes narrowed, "Crowley!" he shouted. "You're influencing him. Stop that now!"
Co-incidentally, if you would like to read the one and only Good Omens fic I ever wrote, here's the ff.net link.
Barghest: The Three Heads of Cerebus: Adam's going to University so Aziraphale and Crowley agree to Dog-sit. You try to do a friend a favour, and the next thing you know it's another one of *those* weeks where the world could end. Featuring Death, ducks and UST with disastrous consequences.Rated PG-13.
And a couple of none GO ones.
For katmarajade, The one where Sulu's plant is dying and he can't figure out why, Chekov completely by accident cures the plant, and Sulu is put out/joyful/annoyed that he didn't figure it out himself.
"Wow," said Chekov, once the spots cleared in front of his eyes. He didn't think he'd ever come that hard in his life. "Oh, wow!"
Sulu rolled him onto his side and spooned up behind him.
"Fucking genius," said Sulu, and kissed his shoulder. "I cannot get over how smart you are."
"Oh well," said Chekov, hoping that Sulu would mistake his blushing for bashfullness at the praise, not guilt. "It was nothing, really."
"Nothing?" said Sulu, incredulously. "Are you freaking kidding me?" He pushed himself up on his elbow so he could look Chekov in the face.
"Babe, we have some of the brightest botanical minds on this ship - "
"You mean yourself?"
"No! Well, okay, yeah - among others. People who get freaking paid to know how plants work and even they couldn't figure out that the Pyraxian Orchid survives because of the crazy weather down there not in spite of it."
"Hmm," said Chekov, unable to meet his eyes. "Um, Hikaru? About that - "
"And I've been such an asshole, lately!" Sulu kisses him, hard and deep, leaving Chekov breathless when he pulls away. His cock twitches with renewed interest.
"I'm so sorry I've been so bad tempered," Sulu says. "I should have known better than to think you wouldn'd understand! I have the smartest boyfriend in the universeI It would have never occured to me that you could replicate a thunderstorm and a desert sand-storm by waterlogging it and then turning a hair-dryer on it!"
"Um - "
"I'll make it up to you, I swear!"
"Oh, Hikaru, you don't have to!"
"Yes, I do!" Sulu said. He grinned down at Chekov - "I think I know just where to start!"
As he swallowed around his cock, Chekov decided to be practical about the whole thing. Sulu had been pretty distracted and neglectful over the past week over that plant, so it was only fair that he should make it up to Chekov. And knowing that Chekov had, in a fit of jealousy, tried to drown the plant in a bucket and then panicked and tried to dry it off would only hurt him. After all, the stupid plant had stopped dying.
Besides, Sulu gave the best blowjobs in the universe.
And last but not least, for crystalshard The one where Chekov dropped the Russian accent and everyone protested its loss.
"Well, you know the brain," said McCoy. "Complicated thing. The only thing we know for sure is that we don't know crap about it."
"But can you fix it," said Sulu sounding slightly hysterical. "I mean - you can fix it, right?"
"Hard to say," said McCoy. "You're not in any pain, right Ensign?"
"Well," said Chekov, in his new American accent, "it hurts a little but not very much."
"Wery!" everyone in the room immediately corrected.
That was a bit short. Sorry, Chrys.
And as we haven't had these in a while:
From: Sulu H.W.
To: Kirk J.T.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Because Chekov knows that the way to Hikaru's heart is through flowers. It's be so like Chekov to promise to try harder at something he was perhaps not so good at due to inexperience whatever.
---
From: Gaila *~#. ♥
To: Uhura N.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Cos if your linguist roomate aint gonna help you pick up dudes in 23438624 languages, who else will?
---
From: Kirk J.T.
To: McCoy L. H.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Dammit, Jim! Don't come crying to me when you die of space syphillis!
---
From: Scott M.
To: Keenser K.X.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
---
From: Spock
To: Kirk J. T.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Obs ISS Kirk and ISS Spock when they are academy students.
---
From: Kirk J.T.
To: McCoy L.H.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
At the academy.
---
From: Chekov P.A.
To: Scott M.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Chekov just doesn't want Scotty to interrupt his cunning plan to seduce Sulu. Obs as Sulu likes weed and guns the logical plan is to combine the two.
---
From: Kirk J. T.
To: McCoy L.H.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Dammit Jim! Don't come crying to me when Spock finds you and kicks your ass for you!
---
From: Sulu H.W.
To: Kirk J.T.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Sulu, you are the most amazing everything on the planet. Trufax.
---
From: McCoy L.H.
To: Kirk J.T.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
For some reason, this makes me think of Kink.
---
From: Mccoy L.H.
To: Spock
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
On TOS, when there's something wrong with Kirk, is it just me or do Spock and McCoy act like a married couple worried over their only child?
---
From: Kirk J.T.
To: McCoy L.H.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Dammit Jim! I'm your roomate, not your booty call!
---
From: Kirk J.T.
To: McCoy L.H.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Dammit Jim!
---
From: Spock
To: Kirk J.T.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Spock has been suspicious of the Kentucky Derby ever since McCoy compare Kirk to stallion he wanted to ride in it... or something.
---
From: Scott M.
To: Keenser K.X.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
---
From: Kirk J.T.
To: McCoy L.H.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Everybody say it with me now: "Dammit, Jim!"
K, That's enough babling. Secret Out!
So teeny!Chulu have been living in my purse for the past three weeks. Every now and then teeny!Chekov will somehow remove himself from the pocket he shares with tiny!Sulu and ends up at the bottom of my purse. It's only ever teeny!Chekov, never tiny!Sulu, although once tiny!Sulu's head was poking out of the pocket as if he were looking for his bb.
I have come to the only logical conclusion. Whenever they have an argumnt teeny!Chekov storms off but forgets he's too teeny to climb back in when he's calmed down.
Oh boys! Am I going to have to get Errol to give you a talking to?
Remember that The one where meme. Two of the four prompts I got involved Good Omens/Star Trek settings. Of course, that got me thinking... What would a Good Omens/Star Trek Cross Over be like if I wrote it?
I don't know whether this would happen after the canon events of Good Omens or it they didn't happen at all but it isn't important.
Premise:
The antichrist is born - and he's Pavel Chekov!
Andrei Chekov is an important diplomat/politician so they swap the demon baby with his child. (The orginal Pavel Chekov gets adopted and nice things happen to him so it's okay!) However in a move that the demons didn't see coming Andrei becomes an ambassador and gets sent to various planets. Now Angels and Demons do exist on all planets but they are not allowed to interfere in planets they are not assigned to - so the Terran Demons cannot follow Pavel to Vulcan, the responsibility must be passed on to the Vulcan Demons and so on.
Unfortunately, the Chekovs do a lot of moving about - they barely spend more than a few months on a planet before moving onto the next (there's some sort of tour, IDK) and as Heaven/Hell are at heart bureaucracies the paperwork takes forever to get done. In fact sometimes the Chekovs have already moved on while they're still processing the transfer papers.
In short, Pavel grows up without any demonic (or angelic) inteference. Eventually they lose track of him all together/get fed up and stop trying. Pavel's due to come into his full powers on his eighteenth birthday. They figure it will all become clear when it happens. After all, he can't deny his nature, can he?
However like Adam, Pavel is able to influence things without realising he is, so he has an idyllic childhood and everyone loves him and thinks he's the cutest thing ever. He's also something of a brat.
When he's fourteen Pavel decides he wants to go to Starfleet so he's obviously accepted straight away. Pavel also has a weakness for Adventure/Action books/films/media, so conveniently his first year of service he gets involved in the Adventure to end all Adventures and he even saves the day multiple times (The events of the 2009 movie). Pavel's also attracted to sword weilding ninja cowboy types, so he is pleased but not terribly surprised when handsome pilot Hikaru Sulu takes an interest in him.
Sulu is slightly puzzled as to what's come over him, because while Chekov is definitely his type, he normally would not go after a seventeen year old, but now he finds himself unable to stop pursuing Chekov and WTF he does not want to "ravish" Chekov, what the hell is "ravish"ing anyway? Who says "ravish" in this day and age, "OH HAI PAVEL. I WISH TO RAVISH YOU NOW!"
So yeah, basically Chekov wants to be pursued with a short period of heavy flirting (and dry humping) followed by much "ravishing", which, as usual, he more or less gets.
Enter Aziraphale and Crowley, who have relocated to SF for some reason. Maybe Crowley goes for the nightlife and Azi gets lonely so he goes too. Maybe they get sent there by the powers that be. They start picking up this presence, they're not sure what it is, but it isn't natural.
They track it down to Pavel who is just so darned cute (it gets him his own way) that they have no idea if he's a demon or an angel. He's too cute to be demonic but far too cute to be angelic either. Nobody seems to know what he is.
Anyway Chekov and Sulu are a bit WTF about it but think Crowly and Azi are a couple of nutters. Then they leave for their 5 year mission.
Azi and Crowley have a bad feeling about this so they get themselves assigned to the Enterprise and follow him, cos when did they ever care about protocol?
[Okay, when did Crowley ever care about protocol and he drags Azi with him: "You mean you're going to stay here and make me do this all on my own!? *woobie snakey eyes*"]
Pavel turns 18 and the hell hound is released! Pavel turns him into... *drumroll* WEIRD DOG! Shut up! Weird Dog would be the best trusty talking animal sidekick EVARRR!!!
The strange things start happening even more than usual. If someone has an argument with Chekov they end up stuck in the dilithium chambers. Chekov gets high and wishes that they could go to a planet that was a giant brownie and then they find one. They run into General Trelane (IDK the bb Q or one of the other Aliens with mad powers) and Chekov completely pwns them somehow.
Azi and C are pretty much convinced and they grab Hikaru who is beginning to notice something is not quite right about his boyfriend. There is a confrontation, where Chekov loses his temper and orders Hikaru to do something [Sit Down! or Shut Up! for eg] and Sulu finds himself responding. Both Chekov and Sulu are horrified. Sulu because he realises he's being manipulated and probably has been all along and Chekov because dude... no, he wasn't supposed to do that, he didn't know he could and he doesn't want this and bawwww he's sorry.
Sulu bolts cos he can't deal with this right now and Chekov thinks he's blown everything and just loses it. Rain of fire! Churning Oceans! Mass Hysteria! Dogs and cats living together! Total madness!
Crowley tries to calm him down while Azi runs off to get Sulu to "turn it off!" Sulu does eventually calm Chekov down and they make up with much angst and snuggles.
BUT
other people have noticed.
There's a freaking intergalactic incident. Starfleet and all the other non-Starfleet alligned planets like Klingon, Romulus and that giant brownie planet want a piece of Chekov so they can contain him/study him/use him to take over the universe. Heaven is pissed and wants to kill him. Hell is pissed because he hasn't destroyed the universe properly and they want him to finish the job. Of course the ASTRONAUTS OF THE APOCALYPSE show up.
So Azi and Crowley take Sulu and Chekov and run. Maybe with the rest of the Enterprise (Kirk/Spock/Bones/et al) helping.
I don't know what happens next. I didn't think of it. LOL, maybe that's the sequel hook. No, I'm not gonna write it, but if you would like to, go ahead.
Anway; have a couple of snippets, both rated PG-13.
For ilovetakahana, The one where Aziraphale and Crowley have a go at Chekov for being entirely too cute.
"I mean, it's unnatural," Crowley explained. "You must understand what I'm saying!"
The boy cocked his head to one side like a small, confused, baby animal.
"But I do not understand! Please, Mr Crowley - "
"See, this is the thing I'm talking about, Angel," Crowley said. "The eyes, the hair, the wounded puppy expression, it's demonic, that's what it is!"
"What is so demonic about my hair?"
"Oh come now," said Aziraphale. "I would hardly call it demonic!"
"Would you call it angelic?"
"Well, no. You are right. It's far too unnatural, the - the - what's the word for it, my dear?"
"Cute!" Crowley spat the word out like it was a curse. "You're just too fucking cute, kid. You gotta stop it. It's got everyone wanking up a storm as to what you are!"
"What I am?"
"You ain't human, that's for sure!"
"I am not an alien!"
"Now Crowley, don't distress the boy, dear." Aziraphale patted Chekov's sleeve. "We don't mean that you're an alien, but well, how do I put this delicately - it's pretty obvious that your something ethereal or occult. We're just not sure which one."
"And we can go back to happily ignoring you, if you'd just stop being so damned cute! So, stop it!"
And for littlewolfstar, THE ONE WHERE SULU AND CROWLEY HAVE A HEATED DEBATE ABOUT THE PROPER WAY TO NURTURE VIOLETS. \0/
And maybe Azi and Chekov can look on and be amused and have tea wodka.
"Every gardner I know has said you should talk to your plants,' said Crowley, reasonably. "I have citations!"
"Talk, yes!" Sulu said, incensed. "Not threaten!"
"It works, doesn't it!"
"That isn't the point!" Sulu looked like he was about to start shouting, but he checked himself. "Okay, here's the thing," he continued in a much calmer tone, but Chekov could tell he was on the verge of bursting. "The thing is: plants have feelings, you can't just treat them like -"
"I'm a demon!"
"That doesn't mean that you have to be an asshole!"
"Yes it does! It's practically the job description!"
Chekov sighed. When Hikaru got a bee in his bonnet about plants, he could be at it for hours.
Aziraphale handed him a cup of tea. "Oh dear," he said. "I wish they wouldn't fight. Crowley simply won't be moved on the issue."
"Neither will Hikaru," said Chekov, gloomily. He sniffed disdainfully at the tea. He needed something stronger, he wished he could just turn it to - oh, hang on - he could change it to something stronger.
Aziraphale sipped at what he thought was tea, choked and only the fact that he was a gentlman - gentleman shaped being, at any rate - prevented him from spitting it out.
"What did you do to - "
"Wodka," said Pavel Chekov, happily. "I could get used to this."
Aziraphale looked at him disapprovingly. "Water into wine is one thing," he said. "But tea into wod-vodka is a beastly thing to do!"
Chekov snorted, "If I am the antichrist," he said, snottily. "Is that not in the job description?"
Aziraphale's eyes narrowed, "Crowley!" he shouted. "You're influencing him. Stop that now!"
Co-incidentally, if you would like to read the one and only Good Omens fic I ever wrote, here's the ff.net link.
Barghest: The Three Heads of Cerebus: Adam's going to University so Aziraphale and Crowley agree to Dog-sit. You try to do a friend a favour, and the next thing you know it's another one of *those* weeks where the world could end. Featuring Death, ducks and UST with disastrous consequences.Rated PG-13.
And a couple of none GO ones.
For katmarajade, The one where Sulu's plant is dying and he can't figure out why, Chekov completely by accident cures the plant, and Sulu is put out/joyful/annoyed that he didn't figure it out himself.
"Wow," said Chekov, once the spots cleared in front of his eyes. He didn't think he'd ever come that hard in his life. "Oh, wow!"
Sulu rolled him onto his side and spooned up behind him.
"Fucking genius," said Sulu, and kissed his shoulder. "I cannot get over how smart you are."
"Oh well," said Chekov, hoping that Sulu would mistake his blushing for bashfullness at the praise, not guilt. "It was nothing, really."
"Nothing?" said Sulu, incredulously. "Are you freaking kidding me?" He pushed himself up on his elbow so he could look Chekov in the face.
"Babe, we have some of the brightest botanical minds on this ship - "
"You mean yourself?"
"No! Well, okay, yeah - among others. People who get freaking paid to know how plants work and even they couldn't figure out that the Pyraxian Orchid survives because of the crazy weather down there not in spite of it."
"Hmm," said Chekov, unable to meet his eyes. "Um, Hikaru? About that - "
"And I've been such an asshole, lately!" Sulu kisses him, hard and deep, leaving Chekov breathless when he pulls away. His cock twitches with renewed interest.
"I'm so sorry I've been so bad tempered," Sulu says. "I should have known better than to think you wouldn'd understand! I have the smartest boyfriend in the universeI It would have never occured to me that you could replicate a thunderstorm and a desert sand-storm by waterlogging it and then turning a hair-dryer on it!"
"Um - "
"I'll make it up to you, I swear!"
"Oh, Hikaru, you don't have to!"
"Yes, I do!" Sulu said. He grinned down at Chekov - "I think I know just where to start!"
As he swallowed around his cock, Chekov decided to be practical about the whole thing. Sulu had been pretty distracted and neglectful over the past week over that plant, so it was only fair that he should make it up to Chekov. And knowing that Chekov had, in a fit of jealousy, tried to drown the plant in a bucket and then panicked and tried to dry it off would only hurt him. After all, the stupid plant had stopped dying.
Besides, Sulu gave the best blowjobs in the universe.
And last but not least, for crystalshard The one where Chekov dropped the Russian accent and everyone protested its loss.
"Well, you know the brain," said McCoy. "Complicated thing. The only thing we know for sure is that we don't know crap about it."
"But can you fix it," said Sulu sounding slightly hysterical. "I mean - you can fix it, right?"
"Hard to say," said McCoy. "You're not in any pain, right Ensign?"
"Well," said Chekov, in his new American accent, "it hurts a little but not very much."
"Wery!" everyone in the room immediately corrected.
That was a bit short. Sorry, Chrys.
And as we haven't had these in a while:
From: Sulu H.W.
To: Kirk J.T.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Because Chekov knows that the way to Hikaru's heart is through flowers. It's be so like Chekov to promise to try harder at something he was perhaps not so good at due to inexperience whatever.
---
From: Gaila *~#. ♥
To: Uhura N.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Cos if your linguist roomate aint gonna help you pick up dudes in 23438624 languages, who else will?
---
From: Kirk J.T.
To: McCoy L. H.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Dammit, Jim! Don't come crying to me when you die of space syphillis!
---
From: Scott M.
To: Keenser K.X.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
---
From: Spock
To: Kirk J. T.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Obs ISS Kirk and ISS Spock when they are academy students.
---
From: Kirk J.T.
To: McCoy L.H.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
At the academy.
---
From: Chekov P.A.
To: Scott M.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Chekov just doesn't want Scotty to interrupt his cunning plan to seduce Sulu. Obs as Sulu likes weed and guns the logical plan is to combine the two.
---
From: Kirk J. T.
To: McCoy L.H.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Dammit Jim! Don't come crying to me when Spock finds you and kicks your ass for you!
---
From: Sulu H.W.
To: Kirk J.T.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Sulu, you are the most amazing everything on the planet. Trufax.
---
From: McCoy L.H.
To: Kirk J.T.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
For some reason, this makes me think of Kink.
---
From: Mccoy L.H.
To: Spock
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
On TOS, when there's something wrong with Kirk, is it just me or do Spock and McCoy act like a married couple worried over their only child?
---
From: Kirk J.T.
To: McCoy L.H.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Dammit Jim! I'm your roomate, not your booty call!
---
From: Kirk J.T.
To: McCoy L.H.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Dammit Jim!
---
From: Spock
To: Kirk J.T.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Spock has been suspicious of the Kentucky Derby ever since McCoy compare Kirk to stallion he wanted to ride in it... or something.
---
From: Scott M.
To: Keenser K.X.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
---
From: Kirk J.T.
To: McCoy L.H.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Everybody say it with me now: "Dammit, Jim!"
K, That's enough babling. Secret Out!