Statistics
According to this study from the National Household Survey on Drug Abuse, people currently enrolled in college or college graduates are more likely to drink than college dropouts or those who have no college education. Similarly, those who work a full-time job are more likely than those who work part time or not at all to engage in drinking. Several conclusions can be reached from this data:
1. The more you know, the more that you know you want to drink.
2. The more you work, the more that you work on your drinking skills.
3. If you are educated and holding a full-time job, it's expected that you come into work drunk.
4. Statistics about the drinking habits of the uneducated and unemployed are severely faulted. In actuality, someone who is uneducated and unemployed isn't drinking at all.
5. If all uneducated and unemployed people began drinking, they'd all become smarter and find work based on their new-found intelligence.
6. Beer is dear. Wine is divine. Liquor is quicker.
It takes surveys like these to point out the faults of society, specifically non-drinking. The country would be better educated and harder working if everyone drank. Alas, we have to deal with the abstinent uneducated and unemployed.
The idea presented in this survey is concrete and infallible: to succeed in life, you must have a drink in your hand.
1. The more you know, the more that you know you want to drink.
2. The more you work, the more that you work on your drinking skills.
3. If you are educated and holding a full-time job, it's expected that you come into work drunk.
4. Statistics about the drinking habits of the uneducated and unemployed are severely faulted. In actuality, someone who is uneducated and unemployed isn't drinking at all.
5. If all uneducated and unemployed people began drinking, they'd all become smarter and find work based on their new-found intelligence.
6. Beer is dear. Wine is divine. Liquor is quicker.
It takes surveys like these to point out the faults of society, specifically non-drinking. The country would be better educated and harder working if everyone drank. Alas, we have to deal with the abstinent uneducated and unemployed.
The idea presented in this survey is concrete and infallible: to succeed in life, you must have a drink in your hand.