Everytime I pin down what I think I want it slips away
im wrapped in a sleeping bag that smells like rum sex and robbie, its suprisingly comforting.
last night there was a drunken co-ed sleepover, it was lovely
i really enjoyed drinking and sleeping with friends, its nice
i was glad me and robbie were drunk, cuddling with him came easily and naturally, i dont think it was impaired judgment at all, i think it lowered my defenses just enough for me to realize i wanted to be close to another human. lonely in the dark being only human we will seek eachother out and cling to any comfort and human contact provided. i was happy to be held, to be close to be loved. im only human, i did what my body wanted me to do, what my soul craved. and i dont regret that.
of course being the insecure teenage girl that i am i asked him if he thought i was pretty, he said yes, i was a mess so i asked him even now? and he said especially now. that was sooo cute, it was so nice to hear that, thats like the best thing someones said to me all week, maybe longer.
im so insecure, i need to lose weight, dont i always. but i gained a few pounds, only 3 though, i think im going to purge tonight, it will make me feel thinner and better.
i watched this david firth animation today, it was like story of my life, however afraid i am to admit it, but here i am safe, few people read this, this is for me, so im going to put it up here, for reference
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/178020
it reminded me of life as an anorexic or bulimic, the last part is my favorite, it says, it makes me sad to be ill, but i put on a happy face, nobody likes a morbid bastard! my name is scribbler, im still ill.
thats like the story of my life.
" sometimes i feel drowsy, sometimes i have trouble breathing, sometimes i feel as if I'm going to vomit"
im very tired, i didnt sleep alot last night. i think i need some rest now. i think im going to wrap myself in this sleeping bag and drift off very soon.
last night there was a drunken co-ed sleepover, it was lovely
i really enjoyed drinking and sleeping with friends, its nice
i was glad me and robbie were drunk, cuddling with him came easily and naturally, i dont think it was impaired judgment at all, i think it lowered my defenses just enough for me to realize i wanted to be close to another human. lonely in the dark being only human we will seek eachother out and cling to any comfort and human contact provided. i was happy to be held, to be close to be loved. im only human, i did what my body wanted me to do, what my soul craved. and i dont regret that.
of course being the insecure teenage girl that i am i asked him if he thought i was pretty, he said yes, i was a mess so i asked him even now? and he said especially now. that was sooo cute, it was so nice to hear that, thats like the best thing someones said to me all week, maybe longer.
im so insecure, i need to lose weight, dont i always. but i gained a few pounds, only 3 though, i think im going to purge tonight, it will make me feel thinner and better.
i watched this david firth animation today, it was like story of my life, however afraid i am to admit it, but here i am safe, few people read this, this is for me, so im going to put it up here, for reference
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/178020
it reminded me of life as an anorexic or bulimic, the last part is my favorite, it says, it makes me sad to be ill, but i put on a happy face, nobody likes a morbid bastard! my name is scribbler, im still ill.
thats like the story of my life.
" sometimes i feel drowsy, sometimes i have trouble breathing, sometimes i feel as if I'm going to vomit"
im very tired, i didnt sleep alot last night. i think i need some rest now. i think im going to wrap myself in this sleeping bag and drift off very soon.