(no subject)
I hate this constant battle with food, and with myself. It is wearing me down.
Last night, being the Big Brother opening night, we had the traditional crisps &
dips that I had so looked forward to. I ate a whole packet (approx 970 cals).
BUT
because I knew I was doing that, i had no dinner, even though I had planned
salad. I couldn't justify it. Even though my total calories for the day would
still be under the recommended limit of 1200 minimum.
Anyway I ate the crisps, and felt so sick afterwards.
Today I feel so crap, but the it is TOTM again, and my period always makes me
feel crap. I am not hungry but I want a sandwich and some crisps, like a
"normal" persons lunch. I am still overweight, although if I lose another 5 lbs
my BMI will be normal. But I feel huge. I want to almost disappear when viewed
side on. I want a flat tummy, and I want a gap between my thighs. I will achieve
this.
Another thing - THINSPO. It doesn't work for me, I don't want to look like Paris
or Nicole or any of those others girls. What works for me is looking at thin
guys. How odd is that???? Like, WTF??? Maybe I can relate more to them, than
girly girls, I have never been one of them.
Will try and have an apple for lunch. So far today 1 yogurt 58 cals, some melon
30 cals, 1 bite of apple 5 cals (threw the rest away). Supposed to have chips &
beans for dinner but I really don't know.....
Last night, being the Big Brother opening night, we had the traditional crisps &
dips that I had so looked forward to. I ate a whole packet (approx 970 cals).
BUT
because I knew I was doing that, i had no dinner, even though I had planned
salad. I couldn't justify it. Even though my total calories for the day would
still be under the recommended limit of 1200 minimum.
Anyway I ate the crisps, and felt so sick afterwards.
Today I feel so crap, but the it is TOTM again, and my period always makes me
feel crap. I am not hungry but I want a sandwich and some crisps, like a
"normal" persons lunch. I am still overweight, although if I lose another 5 lbs
my BMI will be normal. But I feel huge. I want to almost disappear when viewed
side on. I want a flat tummy, and I want a gap between my thighs. I will achieve
this.
Another thing - THINSPO. It doesn't work for me, I don't want to look like Paris
or Nicole or any of those others girls. What works for me is looking at thin
guys. How odd is that???? Like, WTF??? Maybe I can relate more to them, than
girly girls, I have never been one of them.
Will try and have an apple for lunch. So far today 1 yogurt 58 cals, some melon
30 cals, 1 bite of apple 5 cals (threw the rest away). Supposed to have chips &
beans for dinner but I really don't know.....