(no subject)
I don't know anything about this.
----
Sometimes now, in the daytime, he forgets to do things. Just simple, little things, that perhaps no one else would notice. He neglects to tie his left shoe. He forgets to shave. He backs out of the driveway without looking first. When he sleeps at night, he walks through his dreams collecting his mistakes in a bag like a thin Santa clause. He walks through every dream town he's ever been to, until he is too tired to step, then lets down the bag, crawls inside it, and sleeps, knowing that everything around him is beautiful, and that he is beautiful, and that it is almost morning.
"It's alright to be sad. Once you are loved like that, you never go back to who you were before," someone says.
Someone else says, "It's alright to be lost. For years, you thought that you were born sometime before your first birthday, but that was never really true. You were born the first time she kissed you. You know that now."
He smiles and shakes their hands because they mean well. But he isn't sad. He isn't happy. He is the being that has existed before him and will exist after him. Sure, she not going to be his anymore, but soon she's going to be someone else's. And this is okay, because he is also the being that exits outside himself and the being that exists in all the other people and in every other thing she touches and passes.
For these reasons, when no one else looking, he runs with arms stretched out to the sides, smiling wildly. He is occasionally ashamed to be so full of joy now, but couldn't hide it if he wanted to. He sometimes closes his eyes as he runs, hoping. Hoping he will run off of an embankment, or he will take off and fly, or he will run full speed into the arms of the love of his lifetime, who is there with her arms stretched out to the sides too. He believes she exists somewhere, and exists to be the still to his speed. To keep her eyes open while his are shut. He'll find out in 1 nanosecond as they collide on the empty that she is also the being that has existed before them and will exist after them. That sometimes she runs with her eyes closed, hoping he will be there. They won't be able to stop smiling.