Out Of My League
Title: "Frightening to be Swimming in this Strange Sea "
Taecyeon/Junho
PG13|3294|2pm
It starts with three things:
A leather jacket
Junho fills up the cup to the brim with some concoction that the person on the other side of the counter asked for. He hands it to Nichkhun and in less than a second there is a tap on his shoulder. Khun smiles at him apologetically and says the customer wants it redone. Junho grumbles to himself and restarts.
This time he personally hands it to the customer so he can show the other his burnt hand from trying to remake the hot coffee. It’s some woman with curly brown hair, chatting away on her phone. She ignores his polite smile and takes the cup from his hand. The one sip she takes ends up on the counter.
"This is the same crap as before,” she says. “Do it again.”
“Ma’am, we have other customers.” Junho tries to be as polite as possible, especially when he’s just itching to throw her out.
“The customer is always right.” She goes back to chatting on her phone. He taps her lightly to get her attention back.
“I’m really sorry, but I’ve made it twice already,” he sees her shut her phone, “I’m sure there is another coffee shop somewhere if you don't like the way we make it.” Junho’s ready for it, he really is. The lid is off in a matter of seconds and he flinches, hoping the scolding hot coffee has cooled down.
He doesn’t feel the skin on his stomach burning; he actually doesn’t feel anything at all, oddly. Opening his eyes slowly, he sees a tall body standing between the women and himself. The man’s jacket sticks out, a shiny black color that looks different from the normal customers, and so does the tan skin on his neck. Junho hears sputtering and the man steps aside so he can see the woman looking horrified. She’s not holding the cup anymore; it’s on the ground rolling towards the counter separating customer and server.
The man that had moved is glaring down at his shirt, now covered in a large brown stain that has the fabric clinging to his stomach. What makes it worse is his shirt was white. What makes it horrible is his jacket was leather. He looks at the woman with eyes that just beg to be able to murder.
“I’m so sorry!” She turns back to Junho and glares, “It’s his damn fault-“
“He didn’t throw the coffee,” the man’s voice is low and rough.
“Why did you stand in the way,” she looks like she’s going to cry.
"You should apologize-“
“I already did-“
“Not to me,” his voice was sharp. Junho was just watching the scene unfold and blinks at what the man just said. The woman turns to him and glares before walking out the door.
“Sorry,” the man sighs, “some people just-“
“Why did you step in front of me? I could have handled it,” it comes out of his mouth before he can stop it. He could have just said thank you and gave the man coffee free, instead he replies like a dumbass.
Yet, he receives a wolfish smile, “I don’t think you want your face to get messed up...and really, neither do I.” Junho furrows his eyebrows and cocks his head to the side. The man laughs.
“Whatever,” Junho shakes his head, “I’ll pay for your shirt…and your jacket.” He winces because the black leather jacket looks really expensive.
"It’s okay. I’ll just take a coffee,” he grins.
“It’s…on the house.” Junho is very confused by the man’s smirk growing larger, but he doesn’t ask. Instead, he goes to make the coffee in the back and passes by Nichkhun, who is looking at him in disbelief.
A red scarf
The same man has come to the shop once a week for a couple of weeks. It’s the same day and around the same time. Always Thursday at about three in the afternoon, almost as if the other is keeping a schedule. Junho finds out that he has to when he enters the shop with a very tired expression.
Junho fixes the same white chocolate mocha that the man asks for every time he comes in. As he’s about to leave, Junho grabs his arm. He gets confused eyes, but there’s the slight smile on his lips. Junho blushes because he knows exactly what the man’s thinking and it’s not like that.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“My schedule just tightened so I’m just stressed,” the man grins. “What is it?”
He moves from side to side and realizes he was holding on to the man’s arm all this time. He lets go and looks past the other. “You just usually don’t seem so tired.”
“Your coffee will wake me up then.” He starts to leave again but this time Junho grabs his scarf. It’s the stupidest decision he’s made in a while because it makes the man sputter as it tightens around his neck. He isn’t annoyed with him when he turns around instead he’s very amused; though, he is rubbing at his throat.
“I’m sorry,” Junho lets go of the scarf, which is unbelievably soft and light.
“It’s okay; you can grab it as much as you want. When you tear it though, you’re paying a hundred and eighty two dollars for it.” Junho is sure his eyes bulge out of his head. How much? For a scarf that’s bound to get wet and ruined. “It’s Versace.”
“What?” He doesn’t know why he’s embarrassed when the man chuckles at him.
“A famous designer,” he explains and then looks at his watch, “I need to go.”
This time as he leaves Junho doesn’t try to keep him from going. Instead, he smiles and says, “See you next time.”
“How do you know there will be a next time?” but the man is grinning and waves as he exits the door. Immediately there is a hand on his shoulder that makes him jump out of his skin. He turns around to glare at Nichkhun.
“What?” he asks.
“Every week that same guy comes here,” Nichkhun replies, “That ‘guy’ also finds a way to smile at you every time and get you to take his order.”
“Do you have no life?” Junho rolls his eyes.
"That ‘guy,’” Nichkhun ignores his impatient stare, “Is Taecyeon.”
He doesn’t know why it makes him a little happy to learn the man’s name. It’s probably because he won’t have to say “that man” or “that guy” anymore. “Really? Do you not have a life?”
“I saw this magazine out there on one of the tables," Khun pulls a magazine out of his back pocket and opens it to a page, shoving it in Junho's face. "He’s a model, not exactly the most famous, but a freaking model,” The man that always comes into the little known coffee shop is shirtless giving Junho a smoldering look while rain pours down on him. Written sideways to the edge of the page is the word Taecyeon. Junho blinks at the page then looks back at Khun then back at the page.
That explained why he owned a hundred and eighty two dollar scarf.
An intense stare
Lately Taecyeon has started bringing his friend to the coffee shop and it annoyed Junho just a little at first. It really shouldn’t matter; their relationship isn’t like that. Still, when Taecyeon finally told Junho that Junsu was his long time friend it let him finally give Junsu a real smile.
He’s also noticed Taecyeon has been staying in the shop lately instead of leaving right away. Many women have noticed too, having a positive effect on their sales, but a negative effect on how long Junho can talk to him. He’s worried that if he keeps Taecyeon too long people will get the wrong idea and their relationship is not like that.
Still, when he’s listening to other customers give orders he can’t help but stare at Taecyeon as he laughs at something with Junsu. He likes the way the man eyes crinkle at the side, that his teeth shine so white and so large and that his laugh sounds so happy and loud. He’s sure most customers have gotten a little annoyed at him, but it’s not as if he notices it when it happens.
Nichkhun often catches him and gives a smirk as Junho blushes. He knows what the man is thinking and their relationship is absolutely not like that. They are ‘regular customer’ and ‘server’; that is it.
After Junho switches with Nichkhun, because even he can tell his customers are getting agitated, he gets to watch Taecyeon more. This time Khun gets annoyed with him, since he’s not listening when he tries to give him the order.
“He looks at you too,” Khun says when Junho is looking past him again.
“What?”
“He gives you these passionate stares all the time,” Khun rolls his eyes, “I’m tired of cashier, so you can go back.”
“It’s not like-”
“You can keep telling yourself that,” Nichkhun pushes him to the counter and then walks away. There is some young woman grinning at him and he gives a polite smile back. He takes her order and then shouts it back to Nichkhun. His gaze drifts to Taecyeon again and this time the man’s eyes find his. He beams and waves, which makes Junsu look back and Junho turn away.
“Does Taecyeon come here every day?” the woman he was just serving asks.
“Not every day…”
“Oh my god,” she rolls her eyes, “you like him?” He’s pretty sure she said that loud enough for Taecyeon to hear, along with everyone in the shop.
“It’s not like that,” he blushes.
The woman smirks. “Good, he may be bi, but he wouldn’t even touch someone as normal as you.” It’s not as if Junho didn’t know this, but his heart sinks at the comment. He hears footsteps from the back and Taecyeon stands up in front of him. The sounds get closer. Taecyeon comes through the dividing line between customer and server as tea ends up on the girls face. Junho only sees it for a second before soft lips are on his and there is a hand wrapped around his back.
All throughout the shop there are gasps and Junho tries to pull back. Taecyeon only stops kissing him, but he still holds onto him.
“Is he still seen as some normal person when I have feelings for him?” he asks the girl, who doesn’t seem to care she’s dosed in iced tea. “I don’t want to touch him,” he turns to look at Junho’s and he’s squirming under everyone’s stares. “I wish I could touch his heart.” Junho freezes because it’s all so stupid and fast. Then Taecyeon says that and it’s not fair:
He can’t help but smile widely and kiss the man’s lips without fear.
Over that stupid line.
It spirals with two things:
A dark alley
He can’t keep up with how long he’s been with Taec. The life of a model goes by so fast, even if he’s not so famous. Everyday it’s some new event that he wants to or has to be there for. Junho is recognized places he’s never been before and there are pictures in the paper that he wouldn’t want his mother to see, but he loves it. It’s only because Taecyeon is there when it gets too hard or gets too aggravating. He’s there to comfort him in any way he can. So, Junho should do the same.
That’s why they’re in some dark alley behind some famous club kissing sloppily. They’re both drunk, but Junho is more inhibited, he can tell. Taecyeon can too, as he starts to back away from Junho’s touch, placing a soft kiss on his nose when he frowns. There’s quick, soft words of some reason why Taecyeon has to go back inside, but Junho hears the end statements of stay here. Except hearing and comprehending aren’t the same thing. He starts to walk up the alley and then down the street because he’s tired and Taecyeon left him with some things that needed to be taken care.
It’s not even a few steps before someone slams him into the wall of some store he doesn’t know the name of. He smiles, thinking it’s Taecyeon about to yell at him for leaving, and grabs for the other’s shirt to pull him closer, but as he does he realize it doesn’t feel like Taec or smell like Taec.
“So, you want this,” the voice is all wrong and dark and scratchy. Junho pushes him away and drunkenly tries to do his best to run somewhere, but there’s always someone blocking his path.
“Hey, I’ve seen his face before,” a voice calls out. Junho backs up as at least five figures are surrounding him and edging closer.
“That model’s bitch, right?”
“Yeah…Hey, model means he’ll pay good money for us to return him.”
Some hand grasps his face and jerks it to stare in one of the man’s cold eyes, “I think we can just borrow him for an hour or so-I mean- you guys saw it, right? He came on to me.” His smile snaps Junho out of it and he pushes the man away, before trying to work his way past the others. All that happens is he’s slammed back up against the wall with enough force to knock the wind out of him. As he tries to steady his breaths a hand winds its way up his shirt and then another hand works on his pants. When he tries to squirm away, one of them punches him in the stomach and he stumbles over, aching as they start to fondle around his body.
“He must be giving you all sorts of things, basically paying you for sex,” one of them crouches down next to Junho’s ear, “We’ll give you some money afterwords too.” He gives one last effort to get away because he feels like he’s going to puke with all these guys he can’t see in the darkness that are trying to molest him. He shouts out Taecyeon’s name until one of them cover his mouth and roughly pulls down his pants.
He’s crying when he sees Taecyeon running up towards him and grabbing at all of them, shouting for them to get the hell away. When they, all five of them, start to push all their aggressions onto Taec and make him a human punching bag, Junho can only fumble in his pocket and call the police sobbing. The sirens ring about five minutes after, as Junho stumbles to get up and force himself to help only to be told to stop by the bleeding and bruised Taecyeon.
He’s sobbing, looking like a mess, while he’s holding Taecyeon’s hand in the hospital room and the man tells him everything is alright.
Reluctance
His smiles have gotten a whole lot heavier as he has to sort through his mail every morning. There’s letters from fans of Taecyeon, telling him he should have just accepted where his place was and not shouted out for Taecyeon; letters telling him it’s all his fault that Taecyeons bruised everywhere on his body. They act as if he doesn’t already know this, seeing those injuries every day and wondering what would have happened if he hadn’t called out Taecyeon’s name.
He’s sitting on the couch looking at one particular letter in his hand when Taecyeon plops down next to him on the couch and slaps it away.
“Hey,” Junho says.
Taecyeon even still has bruises on his face and one cut on his cheek from the accident, but he’s still doing his job. His agent says it increases the bad boy image. “Don’t read that.”
Junho frowns down at the paper and Taecyeon grabs hold of his chin, making them look eye to eye. His eyes flutter downward. “What?”
“I love you,” Taecyeon replies. His heart feels a lot heavier in his chest and he wants to cry out that he doesn’t deserve it.
“We’ve already done the first awkward sayings of ‘I love you’ to one another,” Junho tries to grin, but it feels like a grimace.
“Yeah, well,” Taecyeon let’s go of him and sighs. “We haven’t done the honeymoon-“
“That’s after marriage.”
“Who says we have to do things in order?” Taeceyon beams.
“What…do you mean?”
“Paris. You’ve always wanted to go somewhere else; what about Paris?”
Junho stares at him, “Paris-France, Paris?”
“No, Texas,” Taecyeon pushes Junho playfully; “I got some famous photo shoot or something.”
For some odd reason, Junho’s heart plummets farther than any time in his life. The man's smiling at him, bandages across his face from wounds he caused, trying to make him happy. His throat starts to close up. “No.”
“What? No Paris,” Taecyeon’s face falls, “I can always do the New Zealand-“
“No-Taec-just,” Junho breathes in once, “I can’t leave my life here like you can. I have friends and family and-“ It’s all a bunch of lies coming out of Junho’s mouth; he’d love to go, but he doesn’t deserve it. He’s ashamed that he’s glad for the opportunity to have an easy way out; his way out of feeling the guilt that he does whenever he sees the man. “I’m sorry.”
“Three days,” Taeceyon says and kisses him on the forehead. “Think about it.”
There’s nothing to think about, Junho tries to give one last smile as he looks at the bruises running down Taecyeon’s arm.
It ends with one thing:
A love/hate relationship
In the coffee shop, there are available magazines on a random table next to where people sit. Junho has to change them every month. He uses one arm to sweep the old ones into the bin and picks up the new ones to place on the table. A magazine falls down off the top of the newly stacked magazines and he picks it up. His heart aches in his chest upon seeing the cover. He could just put it back and pretend as if nothing happened. Junho could throw it in the wastebasket and never have to see it again. So, why does he open the magazine?
Why does he read the article?
Q: I know this is a stereotypical question, but everyone would definitely like to know this about out resident new hottie model; have you ever been in love?
Taec: That’s such a hard question [laughs] I guess I was…I still am, but we had to go separate ways.
Q: You had to leave your love back at home for your dream? They could have sucked it up or come with you. Or you could make the long distance thing work.
Taec: No, It’s not as if I can ask the person I love to give up everything and be completely with me. I wouldn’t like it if someone did that to me. They have family and friends…..and a life. We could have tried to make it work, but it just would have ended up messier and…..it just wouldn’t work with the life I have…
Q: I’m so sorry, do you have anything to say to them?
Taec: Well…[pauses]I wish I could have touched your heart for just a bit longer.
Wet tears hit the page before he can think about blinking them away. He can’t believe he’s crying over something as stupid as this.
He hates that they were just in the wrong situation.
He hates that he couldn’t push his own smaller needs out of the way.
He hates that the man still loves him.
But he still loves the man so much.
Taecyeon/Junho
PG13|3294|2pm
It starts with three things:
A leather jacket
Junho fills up the cup to the brim with some concoction that the person on the other side of the counter asked for. He hands it to Nichkhun and in less than a second there is a tap on his shoulder. Khun smiles at him apologetically and says the customer wants it redone. Junho grumbles to himself and restarts.
This time he personally hands it to the customer so he can show the other his burnt hand from trying to remake the hot coffee. It’s some woman with curly brown hair, chatting away on her phone. She ignores his polite smile and takes the cup from his hand. The one sip she takes ends up on the counter.
"This is the same crap as before,” she says. “Do it again.”
“Ma’am, we have other customers.” Junho tries to be as polite as possible, especially when he’s just itching to throw her out.
“The customer is always right.” She goes back to chatting on her phone. He taps her lightly to get her attention back.
“I’m really sorry, but I’ve made it twice already,” he sees her shut her phone, “I’m sure there is another coffee shop somewhere if you don't like the way we make it.” Junho’s ready for it, he really is. The lid is off in a matter of seconds and he flinches, hoping the scolding hot coffee has cooled down.
He doesn’t feel the skin on his stomach burning; he actually doesn’t feel anything at all, oddly. Opening his eyes slowly, he sees a tall body standing between the women and himself. The man’s jacket sticks out, a shiny black color that looks different from the normal customers, and so does the tan skin on his neck. Junho hears sputtering and the man steps aside so he can see the woman looking horrified. She’s not holding the cup anymore; it’s on the ground rolling towards the counter separating customer and server.
The man that had moved is glaring down at his shirt, now covered in a large brown stain that has the fabric clinging to his stomach. What makes it worse is his shirt was white. What makes it horrible is his jacket was leather. He looks at the woman with eyes that just beg to be able to murder.
“I’m so sorry!” She turns back to Junho and glares, “It’s his damn fault-“
“He didn’t throw the coffee,” the man’s voice is low and rough.
“Why did you stand in the way,” she looks like she’s going to cry.
"You should apologize-“
“I already did-“
“Not to me,” his voice was sharp. Junho was just watching the scene unfold and blinks at what the man just said. The woman turns to him and glares before walking out the door.
“Sorry,” the man sighs, “some people just-“
“Why did you step in front of me? I could have handled it,” it comes out of his mouth before he can stop it. He could have just said thank you and gave the man coffee free, instead he replies like a dumbass.
Yet, he receives a wolfish smile, “I don’t think you want your face to get messed up...and really, neither do I.” Junho furrows his eyebrows and cocks his head to the side. The man laughs.
“Whatever,” Junho shakes his head, “I’ll pay for your shirt…and your jacket.” He winces because the black leather jacket looks really expensive.
"It’s okay. I’ll just take a coffee,” he grins.
“It’s…on the house.” Junho is very confused by the man’s smirk growing larger, but he doesn’t ask. Instead, he goes to make the coffee in the back and passes by Nichkhun, who is looking at him in disbelief.
A red scarf
The same man has come to the shop once a week for a couple of weeks. It’s the same day and around the same time. Always Thursday at about three in the afternoon, almost as if the other is keeping a schedule. Junho finds out that he has to when he enters the shop with a very tired expression.
Junho fixes the same white chocolate mocha that the man asks for every time he comes in. As he’s about to leave, Junho grabs his arm. He gets confused eyes, but there’s the slight smile on his lips. Junho blushes because he knows exactly what the man’s thinking and it’s not like that.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“My schedule just tightened so I’m just stressed,” the man grins. “What is it?”
He moves from side to side and realizes he was holding on to the man’s arm all this time. He lets go and looks past the other. “You just usually don’t seem so tired.”
“Your coffee will wake me up then.” He starts to leave again but this time Junho grabs his scarf. It’s the stupidest decision he’s made in a while because it makes the man sputter as it tightens around his neck. He isn’t annoyed with him when he turns around instead he’s very amused; though, he is rubbing at his throat.
“I’m sorry,” Junho lets go of the scarf, which is unbelievably soft and light.
“It’s okay; you can grab it as much as you want. When you tear it though, you’re paying a hundred and eighty two dollars for it.” Junho is sure his eyes bulge out of his head. How much? For a scarf that’s bound to get wet and ruined. “It’s Versace.”
“What?” He doesn’t know why he’s embarrassed when the man chuckles at him.
“A famous designer,” he explains and then looks at his watch, “I need to go.”
This time as he leaves Junho doesn’t try to keep him from going. Instead, he smiles and says, “See you next time.”
“How do you know there will be a next time?” but the man is grinning and waves as he exits the door. Immediately there is a hand on his shoulder that makes him jump out of his skin. He turns around to glare at Nichkhun.
“What?” he asks.
“Every week that same guy comes here,” Nichkhun replies, “That ‘guy’ also finds a way to smile at you every time and get you to take his order.”
“Do you have no life?” Junho rolls his eyes.
"That ‘guy,’” Nichkhun ignores his impatient stare, “Is Taecyeon.”
He doesn’t know why it makes him a little happy to learn the man’s name. It’s probably because he won’t have to say “that man” or “that guy” anymore. “Really? Do you not have a life?”
“I saw this magazine out there on one of the tables," Khun pulls a magazine out of his back pocket and opens it to a page, shoving it in Junho's face. "He’s a model, not exactly the most famous, but a freaking model,” The man that always comes into the little known coffee shop is shirtless giving Junho a smoldering look while rain pours down on him. Written sideways to the edge of the page is the word Taecyeon. Junho blinks at the page then looks back at Khun then back at the page.
That explained why he owned a hundred and eighty two dollar scarf.
An intense stare
Lately Taecyeon has started bringing his friend to the coffee shop and it annoyed Junho just a little at first. It really shouldn’t matter; their relationship isn’t like that. Still, when Taecyeon finally told Junho that Junsu was his long time friend it let him finally give Junsu a real smile.
He’s also noticed Taecyeon has been staying in the shop lately instead of leaving right away. Many women have noticed too, having a positive effect on their sales, but a negative effect on how long Junho can talk to him. He’s worried that if he keeps Taecyeon too long people will get the wrong idea and their relationship is not like that.
Still, when he’s listening to other customers give orders he can’t help but stare at Taecyeon as he laughs at something with Junsu. He likes the way the man eyes crinkle at the side, that his teeth shine so white and so large and that his laugh sounds so happy and loud. He’s sure most customers have gotten a little annoyed at him, but it’s not as if he notices it when it happens.
Nichkhun often catches him and gives a smirk as Junho blushes. He knows what the man is thinking and their relationship is absolutely not like that. They are ‘regular customer’ and ‘server’; that is it.
After Junho switches with Nichkhun, because even he can tell his customers are getting agitated, he gets to watch Taecyeon more. This time Khun gets annoyed with him, since he’s not listening when he tries to give him the order.
“He looks at you too,” Khun says when Junho is looking past him again.
“What?”
“He gives you these passionate stares all the time,” Khun rolls his eyes, “I’m tired of cashier, so you can go back.”
“It’s not like-”
“You can keep telling yourself that,” Nichkhun pushes him to the counter and then walks away. There is some young woman grinning at him and he gives a polite smile back. He takes her order and then shouts it back to Nichkhun. His gaze drifts to Taecyeon again and this time the man’s eyes find his. He beams and waves, which makes Junsu look back and Junho turn away.
“Does Taecyeon come here every day?” the woman he was just serving asks.
“Not every day…”
“Oh my god,” she rolls her eyes, “you like him?” He’s pretty sure she said that loud enough for Taecyeon to hear, along with everyone in the shop.
“It’s not like that,” he blushes.
The woman smirks. “Good, he may be bi, but he wouldn’t even touch someone as normal as you.” It’s not as if Junho didn’t know this, but his heart sinks at the comment. He hears footsteps from the back and Taecyeon stands up in front of him. The sounds get closer. Taecyeon comes through the dividing line between customer and server as tea ends up on the girls face. Junho only sees it for a second before soft lips are on his and there is a hand wrapped around his back.
All throughout the shop there are gasps and Junho tries to pull back. Taecyeon only stops kissing him, but he still holds onto him.
“Is he still seen as some normal person when I have feelings for him?” he asks the girl, who doesn’t seem to care she’s dosed in iced tea. “I don’t want to touch him,” he turns to look at Junho’s and he’s squirming under everyone’s stares. “I wish I could touch his heart.” Junho freezes because it’s all so stupid and fast. Then Taecyeon says that and it’s not fair:
He can’t help but smile widely and kiss the man’s lips without fear.
Over that stupid line.
It spirals with two things:
A dark alley
He can’t keep up with how long he’s been with Taec. The life of a model goes by so fast, even if he’s not so famous. Everyday it’s some new event that he wants to or has to be there for. Junho is recognized places he’s never been before and there are pictures in the paper that he wouldn’t want his mother to see, but he loves it. It’s only because Taecyeon is there when it gets too hard or gets too aggravating. He’s there to comfort him in any way he can. So, Junho should do the same.
That’s why they’re in some dark alley behind some famous club kissing sloppily. They’re both drunk, but Junho is more inhibited, he can tell. Taecyeon can too, as he starts to back away from Junho’s touch, placing a soft kiss on his nose when he frowns. There’s quick, soft words of some reason why Taecyeon has to go back inside, but Junho hears the end statements of stay here. Except hearing and comprehending aren’t the same thing. He starts to walk up the alley and then down the street because he’s tired and Taecyeon left him with some things that needed to be taken care.
It’s not even a few steps before someone slams him into the wall of some store he doesn’t know the name of. He smiles, thinking it’s Taecyeon about to yell at him for leaving, and grabs for the other’s shirt to pull him closer, but as he does he realize it doesn’t feel like Taec or smell like Taec.
“So, you want this,” the voice is all wrong and dark and scratchy. Junho pushes him away and drunkenly tries to do his best to run somewhere, but there’s always someone blocking his path.
“Hey, I’ve seen his face before,” a voice calls out. Junho backs up as at least five figures are surrounding him and edging closer.
“That model’s bitch, right?”
“Yeah…Hey, model means he’ll pay good money for us to return him.”
Some hand grasps his face and jerks it to stare in one of the man’s cold eyes, “I think we can just borrow him for an hour or so-I mean- you guys saw it, right? He came on to me.” His smile snaps Junho out of it and he pushes the man away, before trying to work his way past the others. All that happens is he’s slammed back up against the wall with enough force to knock the wind out of him. As he tries to steady his breaths a hand winds its way up his shirt and then another hand works on his pants. When he tries to squirm away, one of them punches him in the stomach and he stumbles over, aching as they start to fondle around his body.
“He must be giving you all sorts of things, basically paying you for sex,” one of them crouches down next to Junho’s ear, “We’ll give you some money afterwords too.” He gives one last effort to get away because he feels like he’s going to puke with all these guys he can’t see in the darkness that are trying to molest him. He shouts out Taecyeon’s name until one of them cover his mouth and roughly pulls down his pants.
He’s crying when he sees Taecyeon running up towards him and grabbing at all of them, shouting for them to get the hell away. When they, all five of them, start to push all their aggressions onto Taec and make him a human punching bag, Junho can only fumble in his pocket and call the police sobbing. The sirens ring about five minutes after, as Junho stumbles to get up and force himself to help only to be told to stop by the bleeding and bruised Taecyeon.
He’s sobbing, looking like a mess, while he’s holding Taecyeon’s hand in the hospital room and the man tells him everything is alright.
Reluctance
His smiles have gotten a whole lot heavier as he has to sort through his mail every morning. There’s letters from fans of Taecyeon, telling him he should have just accepted where his place was and not shouted out for Taecyeon; letters telling him it’s all his fault that Taecyeons bruised everywhere on his body. They act as if he doesn’t already know this, seeing those injuries every day and wondering what would have happened if he hadn’t called out Taecyeon’s name.
He’s sitting on the couch looking at one particular letter in his hand when Taecyeon plops down next to him on the couch and slaps it away.
“Hey,” Junho says.
Taecyeon even still has bruises on his face and one cut on his cheek from the accident, but he’s still doing his job. His agent says it increases the bad boy image. “Don’t read that.”
Junho frowns down at the paper and Taecyeon grabs hold of his chin, making them look eye to eye. His eyes flutter downward. “What?”
“I love you,” Taecyeon replies. His heart feels a lot heavier in his chest and he wants to cry out that he doesn’t deserve it.
“We’ve already done the first awkward sayings of ‘I love you’ to one another,” Junho tries to grin, but it feels like a grimace.
“Yeah, well,” Taecyeon let’s go of him and sighs. “We haven’t done the honeymoon-“
“That’s after marriage.”
“Who says we have to do things in order?” Taeceyon beams.
“What…do you mean?”
“Paris. You’ve always wanted to go somewhere else; what about Paris?”
Junho stares at him, “Paris-France, Paris?”
“No, Texas,” Taecyeon pushes Junho playfully; “I got some famous photo shoot or something.”
For some odd reason, Junho’s heart plummets farther than any time in his life. The man's smiling at him, bandages across his face from wounds he caused, trying to make him happy. His throat starts to close up. “No.”
“What? No Paris,” Taecyeon’s face falls, “I can always do the New Zealand-“
“No-Taec-just,” Junho breathes in once, “I can’t leave my life here like you can. I have friends and family and-“ It’s all a bunch of lies coming out of Junho’s mouth; he’d love to go, but he doesn’t deserve it. He’s ashamed that he’s glad for the opportunity to have an easy way out; his way out of feeling the guilt that he does whenever he sees the man. “I’m sorry.”
“Three days,” Taeceyon says and kisses him on the forehead. “Think about it.”
There’s nothing to think about, Junho tries to give one last smile as he looks at the bruises running down Taecyeon’s arm.
It ends with one thing:
A love/hate relationship
In the coffee shop, there are available magazines on a random table next to where people sit. Junho has to change them every month. He uses one arm to sweep the old ones into the bin and picks up the new ones to place on the table. A magazine falls down off the top of the newly stacked magazines and he picks it up. His heart aches in his chest upon seeing the cover. He could just put it back and pretend as if nothing happened. Junho could throw it in the wastebasket and never have to see it again. So, why does he open the magazine?
Why does he read the article?
Q: I know this is a stereotypical question, but everyone would definitely like to know this about out resident new hottie model; have you ever been in love?
Taec: That’s such a hard question [laughs] I guess I was…I still am, but we had to go separate ways.
Q: You had to leave your love back at home for your dream? They could have sucked it up or come with you. Or you could make the long distance thing work.
Taec: No, It’s not as if I can ask the person I love to give up everything and be completely with me. I wouldn’t like it if someone did that to me. They have family and friends…..and a life. We could have tried to make it work, but it just would have ended up messier and…..it just wouldn’t work with the life I have…
Q: I’m so sorry, do you have anything to say to them?
Taec: Well…[pauses]I wish I could have touched your heart for just a bit longer.
Wet tears hit the page before he can think about blinking them away. He can’t believe he’s crying over something as stupid as this.
He hates that they were just in the wrong situation.
He hates that he couldn’t push his own smaller needs out of the way.
He hates that the man still loves him.
But he still loves the man so much.