Time Enough for Love (Perish Twice time-stamp)
Lo and behold, my first fic in three and a half weeks, just in time for the s6 premiere.
I miss Nickifer already.
Title: Time Enough for Love
Pairing: Sam/Lucifer
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Begins with character death x2 (the brothers Winchester, from old age after good, long lives), mild AU (Perish Twice 'verse), some angst
Spoilers: none
Word count: 2155
Disclaimer: Supernatural and all characters therein are the property of Eric Kripke and the WB/CW, I'm just borrowing them for my own nefarious purposes.
Summary: Fifty years after the events of the Perish Twice series, Sam dies and is reunited with Lucifer. Sam's memories of their time together return to him, and he is faced with a decision: stay with Lucifer or go to Heaven.
Author's Note: For ladyeternal, who was the first to ask for a reunion scene and planted the idea in my mind, and for everyone who wanted an actual, resolution-type ending to this series. As is the case with all the previous chapters, the cut text is taken from a Robert Frost poem ("A Boundless Moment"); the title is stolen from another great Robert - Heinlein, to be precise. I hope you enjoy it.
- the landscape I describe here hearkens back to my home in Southeast Alaska. I've been terribly homesick lately, longing for the temperate rainforest and the ocean and the beaches of the local parks, and it came out here.
We stood a moment so in a strange world,
myself as one his own pretense deceives;
and then I said the truth (and we moved on),
a young beech clinging to its last year's leaves.
Sam Winchester died a week before his 78th birthday.
He lived long enough to hold Dean's hand on his death-bed, soothing the weathered skin of his older brother's forehead as the life faded from Dean's eyes. With tears spilling down his cheeks, Sam watched Castiel wrap his wings around Dean, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips and murmuring words of comfort to him as Dean took his final breath.
A few minutes passed before Castiel stood with the body of the man he'd rebuilt and loved for half a century cradled in his arms.
"His soul is with me now, Sam. He is safe, he is happy, and he loves you."
Castiel gave Sam a long, searching look, his deep blue eyes solemn. "You don't have much time left. When the moment is right, your brother and I will be there."
Eight days later, Sam was eating breakfast when he heard his brother's voice.
"Hey there, Sammy."
He turned to find Dean's spirit leaning against the counter, with Castiel at his side.
Sam put his fork down and swallowed the last of his orange juice before following Dean and Castiel to the living room.
A beautiul woman was sitting on his couch, her petite form perched on the lump formed by his favorite blanket.
"Hi, Sam. Remember me?"
"Of course I do, Tessa - how could I forget you?"
She smiled at him, a touch of sadness dampening the warmth in her eyes.
"Are you ready?"
Sam walked over to the couch and sank down onto the cushion next to her.
"As I'll ever be."
As Sam began to tremble, he felt the warm pressure of Castiel's hand on his shoulder and the reassuring presence of his brother at his side.
Sam looked over at Dean and took a deep breath.
"Love you."
"Love you, too, Sammy. Always."
Sam turned his head back to Tessa, whispering, "okay."
Slender fingers reached out to entwine with his. There was a brief flash of pain at the Reaper's touch, then the world faded into soft, peaceful darkness.
---------------------------------
Some time later - it could have been moments, minutes, or years, for all Sam knew - he became aware of a new sensation in the darkness, a rising and falling akin to floating on the sea. Gradually, as though he was waking from a long, deep sleep, Sam became aware of the sound of waves and the scent of a salt-tinged breeze.
Lucifer had spent weeks preparing for Sam's return, since he saw the first hints of Death's wispy pallor gathering around Sam. He'd built Sam a suitable place to spend eternity and worked to restrain his love so as not to overwhelm Sam, devoting himself single-mindedly to those endeavors. When his task was complete, he'd watched Sam's soul pass from the world, had given it a beacon to follow, and caught it in the gentle cocoon of his grace. The love he had for Sam couldn't be hidden completely; it ebbed and surged beneath the surface like the water lapping at the shore beside them, rocking Sam softly as his soul transitioned into the afterlife.
Slowly, it began to shift and twist, morphing into the body it had occupied when Sam was in his late twenties. As Sam took shape in his arms, Lucifer masked most of his true form, calling his vessel forth and folding himself into its confines so Sam would be greeted by a familiar face when he regained consciousness.
One by one, Sam's senses returned to him.
Instead of the rise and fall, he could feel someone cradling him like a child. When the empty darkness gave way to the red-black of light filtering in through closed eyelids, he opened his eyes and saw the points of wings rising above a pair of clear, brilliant blue eyes set in a face Sam recognized instantly.
At the sight of his old enemy, Sam steeled himself against the panic, rage, and fear that rose in his chest every time he'd seen Lucifer in the past, but the expected reaction never came. The Devil's touch brought a comforting sense of deja vu instead of revulsion, a languid tranquility that somehow felt right. It was like coming home after a long absence, and the more he thought about it, the more profoundly unsettling and perplexing his response to Lucifer seemed.
Sam tried to turn his focus elsewhere, and found the distraction he was looking for in his new surroundings. They were on a beach made of small, wave-worn rocks that clicked together softly as the water surged against them. Huge, beautiful trees carpeted the land and the mountains rising behind the shore, their rich green stretching as far as the eye could see. The air was cool and damp, the sky cloudy but bright. To the left, nestled in the forest, was a small, lovely house with huge bay windows that faced the ocean.
Sensing the man's curiosity, Lucifer set Sam down, immediately lamenting the loss of contact.
Sam turned in a full circle, taking in the seaweed floating just beyond the shore-line, the birds that flew above him, and the bits of frosted glass nestled here and there between the stones beneath his feet. "Where am I?"
Lucifer smiled to himself as he took in the wonder that shone in Sam's eyes.
"Do you like it? I made it for you."
Sam stared at him, a puzzled expression written across his beautiful features.
"This can be your home until the end of time, Sam, if you choose. You can have anything you want, you need only ask and it will be yours - a different house, different climate, different trees... anything."
"What do you mean, choose?"
"If you do not want to say," Lucifer's said, his voice soft and thick with barely-concealed pain, "the gates of Heaven will be open to you."
"I don't... this doesn't make any sense. Why would you do something like this for me? Why are you here? Why does this choice even exist in the first place? Why..."
"Wait a few minutes, Sam. You'll understand soon."
Sam's mind was a flurry of questions, and as he stood on the beach, waiting without a clue as to what he was waiting for, his feelings of uneasiness and apprehension returned. He was thinking so much that he almost didn't notice when the first of his forgotten memories stirred, slipping into the chaos in his head. The first was followed by another, then another, then another, returning to him in a flood of pictures, sounds and sensations that filled his mind - falling asleep in Lucifer's arms, frantic clashes of lips, the feather on his pillow, the first time he saw the Morningstar's wings, words of reassurance that soothed him back to sleep when Dean left - forming a disjointed puzzle that left Sam stunned and confused.
"This can't, this couldn't have... how is this possible? I remember dreaming about you, but nothing like that ever..."
"Yes, it did."
As he watched shock play over Sam's face, Lucifer fought the growing desire to close the distance between them, to hold Sam fiercely to him and never let go, to tell him how much he'd missed him, how many times he'd nearly slipped into his dreams, how much it had hurt to watch him from afar but never be able to kiss or touch or simply talk to him. Lucifer knew Sam loved him, but he didn't know if he would be able to accept it, or if it would be enough to overcome the anger Sam would feel when he found out that Lucifer had altered his memories. All he could do was hope beyond reason that Sam would find it in him to choose Lucifer over Heaven.
The hazel of Sam's eyes turned to steel as he fixed Lucifer with a suspicious gaze.
"Why didn't I remember any of this until now? What did you do to me?"
Lucifer bit the inside of his lip, dreading Sam's reaction and preparing himself for the worst.
"I took your memories away."
Fury blazed to life within Sam as Lucifer's words sank in, reaching down into the deepest parts of his psyche and soul, awakening his long-hidden love and eroding the last of its weakened, grace-forged cage. Sam felt a sharp pang as it broke free, then an outpouring of warmth as it coursed through him, finding its way to his heart and settling there as though it belonged.
Panic tore through Sam as he struggled against the terrifying new emotion, echoes of hysteria creeping into the timbre of his voice.
"Goddamnit, Lucifer."
The archangel flinched at the sound of his Father's name.
"What the FUCK did you do to me?"
Lucifer said nothing, bearing the brunt of Sam's rage until it passed, leaving Sam more calm, but no less shaken.
"No. I can't... You're the Devil. You tried to wipe humanity off the face of the earth. You wanted to kill my brother, you almost destroyed me. I can't... I can't love you."
Sam felt a twinge of pain at those words, as if something in within him was rebelling against the denial.
"And even if I did, how can I trust you? How do I know any of this is even true?"
"Because you are here. Just as Dean's soul went to Castiel after he died, yours has come to me. That's a bond that can only be created by love."
Sam shook his head, turning his back on Lucifer.
The archangel couldn't stop the tear that slid down his cheek; with every second that passed, his hope dwindled. As his heart sank and began to break, Lucifer felt his grace crack, the first hints of icy loneliness and despair seeping in around the edges.
Lucifer knew he could keep Sam from leaving in any one of a hundred ways - he could beg, he could plead, he could spin traps and artifices that would ensnare the human he loved - but it wasn't enough for Sam to stay. He wanted Sam to be with him of his own free will, and that was something all the power in Creation couldn't change.
Lucifer cast his eyes to the ground, drawing his wings close to his body as he waited for the sound of the foot-falls that would carry his love away.
When Sam took his first step, a new memory came to him that stopped him in his tracks, one of sweat and skin and powerful fingers bruising his hips and pleasure intense enough to shatter his sanity, followed by a screamed yes and absolute misery that abruptly faded to blank, peaceful darkness.
Sam took a deep breath to steady himself, waiting to speak until the images flashing through his brain subsided.
"Is that memory real?"
Lucifer reached far enough into Sam's head to discover what he was remembering, then withdrew.
"Yes. I told you once that I would never lie to you, and I would never trick you. That's not a promise I'm going to break."
"I said yes. I said yes, and you didn't..."
Lucifer heard rocks shift against each other as Sam turned to face him.
When Sam spoke, his voice was so quiet Lucifer could barely hear him.
"You gave up the Apocalypse for me?"
Lucifer nodded and closed his eyes, unable to look at Sam for fear of what he might find.
He felt the air stir, accompanied by Sam's heat as the man drew close enough to touch.
Gathering his courage, Lucifer looked up to find Sam searching his face intently.
"Do you love me, Lucifer?"
Lucifer answered without so much as a thought or a moment's hesitation.
"Yes."
Fingertips brushed the planes of Lucifer's face, soft as the faint flutter of Sam's breath on his skin.
Behind his eyes, Lucifer could see the love in Sam's soul reaching towards his grace, tendrils flickering blue-white as they opened in a gesture of welcome. Swallowing a sob of relief, Lucifer relaxed, letting the walls he'd constructed to restrain his feelings crumble; free of its fetters, the love in his grace surged to meet Sam's.
The pair twined together, Lucifer's wings wrapping around Sam, strong arms encircling Lucifer's shoulder. They clung to each other, lips colliding as immortal grace and mortal soul melded into a single, perfect whole.
They kissed long and deep and slow, exploring feelings that had lain dormant for decades and discovering the memories their bodies still held, even after all the time they'd spent apart.
With a soft sigh, Sam pulled away long enough to murmur the words Lucifer longed to hear against his mouth.
"Heaven will have to wait - I'm not going anywhere without you, Lucifer. Until the day comes when those gates are open to both of us, I'll stay here with you."
"Please," the archangel whispered, stroking the line of Sam's jaw, "call me Samael".
I miss Nickifer already.
Title: Time Enough for Love
Pairing: Sam/Lucifer
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Begins with character death x2 (the brothers Winchester, from old age after good, long lives), mild AU (Perish Twice 'verse), some angst
Spoilers: none
Word count: 2155
Disclaimer: Supernatural and all characters therein are the property of Eric Kripke and the WB/CW, I'm just borrowing them for my own nefarious purposes.
Summary: Fifty years after the events of the Perish Twice series, Sam dies and is reunited with Lucifer. Sam's memories of their time together return to him, and he is faced with a decision: stay with Lucifer or go to Heaven.
Author's Note: For ladyeternal, who was the first to ask for a reunion scene and planted the idea in my mind, and for everyone who wanted an actual, resolution-type ending to this series. As is the case with all the previous chapters, the cut text is taken from a Robert Frost poem ("A Boundless Moment"); the title is stolen from another great Robert - Heinlein, to be precise. I hope you enjoy it.
- the landscape I describe here hearkens back to my home in Southeast Alaska. I've been terribly homesick lately, longing for the temperate rainforest and the ocean and the beaches of the local parks, and it came out here.
We stood a moment so in a strange world,
myself as one his own pretense deceives;
and then I said the truth (and we moved on),
a young beech clinging to its last year's leaves.
Sam Winchester died a week before his 78th birthday.
He lived long enough to hold Dean's hand on his death-bed, soothing the weathered skin of his older brother's forehead as the life faded from Dean's eyes. With tears spilling down his cheeks, Sam watched Castiel wrap his wings around Dean, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips and murmuring words of comfort to him as Dean took his final breath.
A few minutes passed before Castiel stood with the body of the man he'd rebuilt and loved for half a century cradled in his arms.
"His soul is with me now, Sam. He is safe, he is happy, and he loves you."
Castiel gave Sam a long, searching look, his deep blue eyes solemn. "You don't have much time left. When the moment is right, your brother and I will be there."
Eight days later, Sam was eating breakfast when he heard his brother's voice.
"Hey there, Sammy."
He turned to find Dean's spirit leaning against the counter, with Castiel at his side.
Sam put his fork down and swallowed the last of his orange juice before following Dean and Castiel to the living room.
A beautiul woman was sitting on his couch, her petite form perched on the lump formed by his favorite blanket.
"Hi, Sam. Remember me?"
"Of course I do, Tessa - how could I forget you?"
She smiled at him, a touch of sadness dampening the warmth in her eyes.
"Are you ready?"
Sam walked over to the couch and sank down onto the cushion next to her.
"As I'll ever be."
As Sam began to tremble, he felt the warm pressure of Castiel's hand on his shoulder and the reassuring presence of his brother at his side.
Sam looked over at Dean and took a deep breath.
"Love you."
"Love you, too, Sammy. Always."
Sam turned his head back to Tessa, whispering, "okay."
Slender fingers reached out to entwine with his. There was a brief flash of pain at the Reaper's touch, then the world faded into soft, peaceful darkness.
---------------------------------
Some time later - it could have been moments, minutes, or years, for all Sam knew - he became aware of a new sensation in the darkness, a rising and falling akin to floating on the sea. Gradually, as though he was waking from a long, deep sleep, Sam became aware of the sound of waves and the scent of a salt-tinged breeze.
Lucifer had spent weeks preparing for Sam's return, since he saw the first hints of Death's wispy pallor gathering around Sam. He'd built Sam a suitable place to spend eternity and worked to restrain his love so as not to overwhelm Sam, devoting himself single-mindedly to those endeavors. When his task was complete, he'd watched Sam's soul pass from the world, had given it a beacon to follow, and caught it in the gentle cocoon of his grace. The love he had for Sam couldn't be hidden completely; it ebbed and surged beneath the surface like the water lapping at the shore beside them, rocking Sam softly as his soul transitioned into the afterlife.
Slowly, it began to shift and twist, morphing into the body it had occupied when Sam was in his late twenties. As Sam took shape in his arms, Lucifer masked most of his true form, calling his vessel forth and folding himself into its confines so Sam would be greeted by a familiar face when he regained consciousness.
One by one, Sam's senses returned to him.
Instead of the rise and fall, he could feel someone cradling him like a child. When the empty darkness gave way to the red-black of light filtering in through closed eyelids, he opened his eyes and saw the points of wings rising above a pair of clear, brilliant blue eyes set in a face Sam recognized instantly.
At the sight of his old enemy, Sam steeled himself against the panic, rage, and fear that rose in his chest every time he'd seen Lucifer in the past, but the expected reaction never came. The Devil's touch brought a comforting sense of deja vu instead of revulsion, a languid tranquility that somehow felt right. It was like coming home after a long absence, and the more he thought about it, the more profoundly unsettling and perplexing his response to Lucifer seemed.
Sam tried to turn his focus elsewhere, and found the distraction he was looking for in his new surroundings. They were on a beach made of small, wave-worn rocks that clicked together softly as the water surged against them. Huge, beautiful trees carpeted the land and the mountains rising behind the shore, their rich green stretching as far as the eye could see. The air was cool and damp, the sky cloudy but bright. To the left, nestled in the forest, was a small, lovely house with huge bay windows that faced the ocean.
Sensing the man's curiosity, Lucifer set Sam down, immediately lamenting the loss of contact.
Sam turned in a full circle, taking in the seaweed floating just beyond the shore-line, the birds that flew above him, and the bits of frosted glass nestled here and there between the stones beneath his feet. "Where am I?"
Lucifer smiled to himself as he took in the wonder that shone in Sam's eyes.
"Do you like it? I made it for you."
Sam stared at him, a puzzled expression written across his beautiful features.
"This can be your home until the end of time, Sam, if you choose. You can have anything you want, you need only ask and it will be yours - a different house, different climate, different trees... anything."
"What do you mean, choose?"
"If you do not want to say," Lucifer's said, his voice soft and thick with barely-concealed pain, "the gates of Heaven will be open to you."
"I don't... this doesn't make any sense. Why would you do something like this for me? Why are you here? Why does this choice even exist in the first place? Why..."
"Wait a few minutes, Sam. You'll understand soon."
Sam's mind was a flurry of questions, and as he stood on the beach, waiting without a clue as to what he was waiting for, his feelings of uneasiness and apprehension returned. He was thinking so much that he almost didn't notice when the first of his forgotten memories stirred, slipping into the chaos in his head. The first was followed by another, then another, then another, returning to him in a flood of pictures, sounds and sensations that filled his mind - falling asleep in Lucifer's arms, frantic clashes of lips, the feather on his pillow, the first time he saw the Morningstar's wings, words of reassurance that soothed him back to sleep when Dean left - forming a disjointed puzzle that left Sam stunned and confused.
"This can't, this couldn't have... how is this possible? I remember dreaming about you, but nothing like that ever..."
"Yes, it did."
As he watched shock play over Sam's face, Lucifer fought the growing desire to close the distance between them, to hold Sam fiercely to him and never let go, to tell him how much he'd missed him, how many times he'd nearly slipped into his dreams, how much it had hurt to watch him from afar but never be able to kiss or touch or simply talk to him. Lucifer knew Sam loved him, but he didn't know if he would be able to accept it, or if it would be enough to overcome the anger Sam would feel when he found out that Lucifer had altered his memories. All he could do was hope beyond reason that Sam would find it in him to choose Lucifer over Heaven.
The hazel of Sam's eyes turned to steel as he fixed Lucifer with a suspicious gaze.
"Why didn't I remember any of this until now? What did you do to me?"
Lucifer bit the inside of his lip, dreading Sam's reaction and preparing himself for the worst.
"I took your memories away."
Fury blazed to life within Sam as Lucifer's words sank in, reaching down into the deepest parts of his psyche and soul, awakening his long-hidden love and eroding the last of its weakened, grace-forged cage. Sam felt a sharp pang as it broke free, then an outpouring of warmth as it coursed through him, finding its way to his heart and settling there as though it belonged.
Panic tore through Sam as he struggled against the terrifying new emotion, echoes of hysteria creeping into the timbre of his voice.
"Goddamnit, Lucifer."
The archangel flinched at the sound of his Father's name.
"What the FUCK did you do to me?"
Lucifer said nothing, bearing the brunt of Sam's rage until it passed, leaving Sam more calm, but no less shaken.
"No. I can't... You're the Devil. You tried to wipe humanity off the face of the earth. You wanted to kill my brother, you almost destroyed me. I can't... I can't love you."
Sam felt a twinge of pain at those words, as if something in within him was rebelling against the denial.
"And even if I did, how can I trust you? How do I know any of this is even true?"
"Because you are here. Just as Dean's soul went to Castiel after he died, yours has come to me. That's a bond that can only be created by love."
Sam shook his head, turning his back on Lucifer.
The archangel couldn't stop the tear that slid down his cheek; with every second that passed, his hope dwindled. As his heart sank and began to break, Lucifer felt his grace crack, the first hints of icy loneliness and despair seeping in around the edges.
Lucifer knew he could keep Sam from leaving in any one of a hundred ways - he could beg, he could plead, he could spin traps and artifices that would ensnare the human he loved - but it wasn't enough for Sam to stay. He wanted Sam to be with him of his own free will, and that was something all the power in Creation couldn't change.
Lucifer cast his eyes to the ground, drawing his wings close to his body as he waited for the sound of the foot-falls that would carry his love away.
When Sam took his first step, a new memory came to him that stopped him in his tracks, one of sweat and skin and powerful fingers bruising his hips and pleasure intense enough to shatter his sanity, followed by a screamed yes and absolute misery that abruptly faded to blank, peaceful darkness.
Sam took a deep breath to steady himself, waiting to speak until the images flashing through his brain subsided.
"Is that memory real?"
Lucifer reached far enough into Sam's head to discover what he was remembering, then withdrew.
"Yes. I told you once that I would never lie to you, and I would never trick you. That's not a promise I'm going to break."
"I said yes. I said yes, and you didn't..."
Lucifer heard rocks shift against each other as Sam turned to face him.
When Sam spoke, his voice was so quiet Lucifer could barely hear him.
"You gave up the Apocalypse for me?"
Lucifer nodded and closed his eyes, unable to look at Sam for fear of what he might find.
He felt the air stir, accompanied by Sam's heat as the man drew close enough to touch.
Gathering his courage, Lucifer looked up to find Sam searching his face intently.
"Do you love me, Lucifer?"
Lucifer answered without so much as a thought or a moment's hesitation.
"Yes."
Fingertips brushed the planes of Lucifer's face, soft as the faint flutter of Sam's breath on his skin.
Behind his eyes, Lucifer could see the love in Sam's soul reaching towards his grace, tendrils flickering blue-white as they opened in a gesture of welcome. Swallowing a sob of relief, Lucifer relaxed, letting the walls he'd constructed to restrain his feelings crumble; free of its fetters, the love in his grace surged to meet Sam's.
The pair twined together, Lucifer's wings wrapping around Sam, strong arms encircling Lucifer's shoulder. They clung to each other, lips colliding as immortal grace and mortal soul melded into a single, perfect whole.
They kissed long and deep and slow, exploring feelings that had lain dormant for decades and discovering the memories their bodies still held, even after all the time they'd spent apart.
With a soft sigh, Sam pulled away long enough to murmur the words Lucifer longed to hear against his mouth.
"Heaven will have to wait - I'm not going anywhere without you, Lucifer. Until the day comes when those gates are open to both of us, I'll stay here with you."
"Please," the archangel whispered, stroking the line of Sam's jaw, "call me Samael".