So, anyways.

[secondmessenger]

I just feel wrong. I can't explain it much past that, but I do. I hate life, and I hate the way things turn out. I quit my job last week, put in notice and this week will be the end of my working at APAC. I mostly have been making it to classes recently- not to-day though. Didn't have my math work done, so I decided not to do it, and just to

Comments

Ok lets start from the begining

[princessqt2]

First I think you use the word Hate to much. Nate the biggest thing you want right now is love. You think that love will make it all better and granted it does make it a bit better it cant change you and make you happy and not hate life. If loved solved all we would have no cancer, aids, death, suffering, pain. If anything love can cause pain, suffering, and make you wish death. You have to live by the adage if you can’t love yourself how can you expect someone else to?
See it is very hard for me to read about how you cant find anyone or everyone you find either has a boyfriend, or wants nothing to do with you but heaven forbid the ones that have truly liked you a long the way that have been screwed over. I truly did like you Nate but you pushed me aside like a piece of trash when someone you thought would help you feel better about yourself came along. You didn’t even give me a chance but just said opps I am a dick sorry if I hurt you.
It did take me awhile to get over it enough to talk to you but don’t say that there is no one there because 2 short months ago there was and you disregarded me like it was nothing to hurt me or my feelings. I understand now that you are sorry for doing it but I was still hurt and upset and did feel a lot of ways like you do in this post. I didn’t hate myself though because once you hate yourself there is no where else to go. You have reached the bottom and I think it is time to start going to the top again. I am in no way telling you that you need to find help in the form of pills because as the post shows you do not want any part of. What I am telling you is find it in yourself to start over. Wake up tomorrow and find one thing to do that will make your day just that much better. Do it for 5 minutes then go up five minutes everyday. If it is going to the gym then do that just find something that will make you feel better about yourself at the end of the day so you don’t look at a computer screen and post how much you hate yourself for you to go back and read later when something is going good for you and then it will put you right back to where you were. I just think the disruptive pattern you are on is only going to get worse if you just sit there and stew over the past. See today as the future and do something about it. The only person that can help you or that you will allow to help you is yourself.

I am sorry if I am out of line in this comment but you obviously posted for a reason and I do want you to be happy!
By the way I read the whole thing all the way to the end so see more people care about you then you thought!!
~Lindsey