So, anyways.

[secondmessenger]

I just feel wrong. I can't explain it much past that, but I do. I hate life, and I hate the way things turn out. I quit my job last week, put in notice and this week will be the end of my working at APAC. I mostly have been making it to classes recently- not to-day though. Didn't have my math work done, so I decided not to do it, and just to

Comments

[computergeek]

Well, you've just summed up the entire human problem in one long paragraph. When I tell people I don't want to have children I have a hard time explaining to them that I don't think any more people should have to experience this feeling than allready do. Once you become aware of the utter emptiness of life you can see where the doctrine of reincarnation comes from and why some people decide that this must be hell, it just must be some kind of punishment.
You know I don't have any answers for you. Everyone deals with this reality in a different way (most of them by denying it), and those who can't deal with it kill themselves. This explains in part why the suicide rate is the highest among middle aged adults. Status quo young adults think that following the goals society set for them will fulfill them and while reaching for those goals these nagging thoughts are denied. Then, once they've aged and reached those goals and no fireworks occur like they expected they are forced to come to the conclusion that you allready have.
I think realizing these facts at an early age does in some ways put you at an advantage over those people. You have the whole rest of your life to figure life out and to figure out whether or not its worth your time. Atleast by being aware of the bleakness of life, you can consciously seek out ways to make your life here more interesting and worth living.

I could have written every sentence in your paragraph above (with the only substitutions being males for females and dad acting like a child for dad being blind). I don't think seeing life that way dooms you to being miserable your entire life. Hopefully when I'm back in Canton we can hang out more and maybe make each others' lives slightly less miserable. :-) good luck.