If at first you don't suceed..
I have been trying so hard to get motivated to tidy up my house; but in the end I just don't feel like it at all. Ian completely trashed his room with his friend Alex, and it is so very frustrating. My energy level is so low .. I don't want to deal with it. But in the end, I'll get myself going .. I want to at least get SOMETHING done today. I go to work later as well .. so I need to feel somewhat productive here.
Lately; I've been becoming increasingly irritated with my real life friends. I sometimes get the impression they think they are so much better than me. I admit, I am someone who makes a lot of mistakes .. but I get these subtle little comments here and there about things .. and it really irks the shit out of me. My life isn't perfect and I do not try to portray it as so .. but if I am so far beneath these people .. why bother even coming around anymore. It is just so frustrating. I find it all so frustrating. I need a REAL vacation .. from people in general.
They joke that I bitch too much. I don't find it amusing. In the slightest. I find that I am not as nice as I thought I used to be..in the end; I am really a mean girl. I feel mean. I think mean things. And I enjoy those mean thoughts too. I'm starting to stand up .. say what I think; being told I'm bitching .. but you know, I don't care. It's what I think. It's what I feel. And it's just as valid as their thoughts and feelings. I grow tired of people being careless with my feelings. So it's just a big fuck you to everyone right now. Don't get me wrong; I love them all dearly .. which is probably why I haven't completely gone ballistic on them all yet. It's out of love that I don't start kicking some asses. Thank the lucky stars.
I'm still working on my new domain layout. I am off tomorrow .. so I might just stay up and work on it. But not too late .. since I have to get up and watch Alex again. I grow tired of that too. Sometimes it feels like my house isn't really my house anymore .. and it makes it harder to breathe; and to think clearly. It's been a while since I could take a shower without having to take ALL my clothes in there with me so I don't walk around in just a towel to my bedroom. Hello? My frickin' house .. but it just doesn't seem like it. Like I said, I need a break occasionally.
It's gloomy outside and I need to get some stuff done. I WILL do what I wanted to do .. damnit. And maybe if it rains it will calm me down so I can do so.
Lately; I've been becoming increasingly irritated with my real life friends. I sometimes get the impression they think they are so much better than me. I admit, I am someone who makes a lot of mistakes .. but I get these subtle little comments here and there about things .. and it really irks the shit out of me. My life isn't perfect and I do not try to portray it as so .. but if I am so far beneath these people .. why bother even coming around anymore. It is just so frustrating. I find it all so frustrating. I need a REAL vacation .. from people in general.
They joke that I bitch too much. I don't find it amusing. In the slightest. I find that I am not as nice as I thought I used to be..in the end; I am really a mean girl. I feel mean. I think mean things. And I enjoy those mean thoughts too. I'm starting to stand up .. say what I think; being told I'm bitching .. but you know, I don't care. It's what I think. It's what I feel. And it's just as valid as their thoughts and feelings. I grow tired of people being careless with my feelings. So it's just a big fuck you to everyone right now. Don't get me wrong; I love them all dearly .. which is probably why I haven't completely gone ballistic on them all yet. It's out of love that I don't start kicking some asses. Thank the lucky stars.
I'm still working on my new domain layout. I am off tomorrow .. so I might just stay up and work on it. But not too late .. since I have to get up and watch Alex again. I grow tired of that too. Sometimes it feels like my house isn't really my house anymore .. and it makes it harder to breathe; and to think clearly. It's been a while since I could take a shower without having to take ALL my clothes in there with me so I don't walk around in just a towel to my bedroom. Hello? My frickin' house .. but it just doesn't seem like it. Like I said, I need a break occasionally.
It's gloomy outside and I need to get some stuff done. I WILL do what I wanted to do .. damnit. And maybe if it rains it will calm me down so I can do so.