(no subject)
So my mom did it. She beat cancer. Being home for break is kind of surreal because nothing is as it was in the summer. I have transportation now, so I'm not confined to home or work all the time. I'm not seeing Patsy anymore, and I'm not working at Ruby's. But the biggest change is that I get to see my mom happy and healthy. Her attitude was picking up at the tail end of the summer, but she still looked so sick...so skinny, no hair, dark circles under her eyes. I mean, she was still beautiful to me, but now that I see her with a healthy amount of weight on her bones, her hair is about an inch long now, and she's smiling...she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.
The fact that she could have been taken away from me is still mind boggling. How crazy would this Christmas be if they didn't find it when they did? I still get shocking thoughts like that every once in a while...like, I am going to spend a ridiculous amount of money on my mom this year, and I realized that I'm hardly getting anything for my dad. When I asked myself why, the immediate answer was "well, it could be my mom's last..." I mean, of course it's not going to be...but that mindset lingers long after the cancer. And the thing about doctors is, they will never say "it's gone," just that it's "in remission." I dunno, though...they took the tumor out and then blasted all the little cells with chemo...sounds gone to me.
The fact that she could have been taken away from me is still mind boggling. How crazy would this Christmas be if they didn't find it when they did? I still get shocking thoughts like that every once in a while...like, I am going to spend a ridiculous amount of money on my mom this year, and I realized that I'm hardly getting anything for my dad. When I asked myself why, the immediate answer was "well, it could be my mom's last..." I mean, of course it's not going to be...but that mindset lingers long after the cancer. And the thing about doctors is, they will never say "it's gone," just that it's "in remission." I dunno, though...they took the tumor out and then blasted all the little cells with chemo...sounds gone to me.