Fic: Six Times Bobby Drake Helped with the X-Men's Taxes
Title: Six Times Bobby Drake Helped with the X-Men's Taxes
Rating: PGish
Disclaimer: If I owned Marvel, Jubilee would have her powers back
Characters: Bobby Drake, Gen
Word count: ~650
Summary: Six Times Bobby Drake Helped with the X-Men's Taxes
Notes: many thanks to harmonyangel for the beta and wizefics for all the encouragement. Any remaining mistakes are my own
Bobby wasn’t entirely sure how he had ended up having to check all of the X-Men’s taxes. Okay, it probably had something to do with the fact that not only was he the only X-Man to hang onto a real job, but he had also made the mistake of being an accountant. You were taught at Xavier’s to use your gifts to the best of your ability, but Bobby wasn’t sure how knowing tax law counted as a gift. Every year when tax season rolled around, it didn’t matter if Bobby was even speaking to the X-Men, he still ended up getting called to try to figure out what they’d done with their money.
1. Hank was the first to stop by and see him. Hank’s taxes were always a complicated affair. It should have been relatively straight forward - Hank saved all of his receipts throughout the year, and he was able to do most of the work himself, but he required Bobby to double check him. The problem was Hank’s filing system. Bobby was sure that in some universe, possibly one that hadn’t been discovered yet, it made sense. Unfortunately, it wasn’t understandable to anyone who wasn’t Hank. Hank insisted that it made perfect sense, but Bobby didn’t understand how any receipts belonged in a test tube.
2. Emma was always a problem, although it had only been a few years since Bobby had started helping her. Her assets were tied up in all sorts of things, only some of them legal. Bobby had a hell of a time trying to figure out which ones it would be more trouble to list than it would be to pretend they didn’t exist. He didn’t like doing it, but Emma always said that if she ended up arrested that not only would she make Bobby believe that he was in love with Gambit for the rest of his life, but she would also ruin him. And as she already had intimate knowledge of him due to that possession incident, that was entirely possible. It was best just to go along with her requests.
3. Every single time Jean came back from the dead it ended up being a nightmare of paperwork. Just making sure that all of the forms were in so that the IRS acknowledged she was alive again was a mountain of work, and someone had gotten the idea that since Bobby could figure out the IRS he should be able to handle all of the logistics of confirming her identity with the government. Admittedly, he was getting better at it. Practice did make perfect.
4. The Summers family was another problem. Time travel and being sent to the future was one thing, but when you added in alternate universes, it was even more complicated. Especially when Scott still tried to claim Cable and Rachel as dependents. Cable would be insulted by the very idea, and Rachel didn’t officially exist, and yet Scott insisted that he needed to claim them on his taxes, because he was responsible for them. They had to go through this every single year.
5. Professor Xavier was always trying to write off the weirdest things in his taxes. On some level, Bobby understood that all of the televisions that Jubilee blew up did count as an education-related expense, since they were blown up because of her mutant powers; it was just that the federal government didn’t tend to see things that way. Writing off the Blackbird as a work-related expense was another problem, although it was a little bit easier after the school went public.
There was no way that Bobby was ever going to be able to justify writing off Gambit’s playing card budget. Ever.
6. Wolverine. Just… Wolverine. Bobby would have gladly done taxes for the entire Brotherhood if it meant he never had to deal with Wolverine during tax season again.
Rating: PGish
Disclaimer: If I owned Marvel, Jubilee would have her powers back
Characters: Bobby Drake, Gen
Word count: ~650
Summary: Six Times Bobby Drake Helped with the X-Men's Taxes
Notes: many thanks to harmonyangel for the beta and wizefics for all the encouragement. Any remaining mistakes are my own
Bobby wasn’t entirely sure how he had ended up having to check all of the X-Men’s taxes. Okay, it probably had something to do with the fact that not only was he the only X-Man to hang onto a real job, but he had also made the mistake of being an accountant. You were taught at Xavier’s to use your gifts to the best of your ability, but Bobby wasn’t sure how knowing tax law counted as a gift. Every year when tax season rolled around, it didn’t matter if Bobby was even speaking to the X-Men, he still ended up getting called to try to figure out what they’d done with their money.
1. Hank was the first to stop by and see him. Hank’s taxes were always a complicated affair. It should have been relatively straight forward - Hank saved all of his receipts throughout the year, and he was able to do most of the work himself, but he required Bobby to double check him. The problem was Hank’s filing system. Bobby was sure that in some universe, possibly one that hadn’t been discovered yet, it made sense. Unfortunately, it wasn’t understandable to anyone who wasn’t Hank. Hank insisted that it made perfect sense, but Bobby didn’t understand how any receipts belonged in a test tube.
2. Emma was always a problem, although it had only been a few years since Bobby had started helping her. Her assets were tied up in all sorts of things, only some of them legal. Bobby had a hell of a time trying to figure out which ones it would be more trouble to list than it would be to pretend they didn’t exist. He didn’t like doing it, but Emma always said that if she ended up arrested that not only would she make Bobby believe that he was in love with Gambit for the rest of his life, but she would also ruin him. And as she already had intimate knowledge of him due to that possession incident, that was entirely possible. It was best just to go along with her requests.
3. Every single time Jean came back from the dead it ended up being a nightmare of paperwork. Just making sure that all of the forms were in so that the IRS acknowledged she was alive again was a mountain of work, and someone had gotten the idea that since Bobby could figure out the IRS he should be able to handle all of the logistics of confirming her identity with the government. Admittedly, he was getting better at it. Practice did make perfect.
4. The Summers family was another problem. Time travel and being sent to the future was one thing, but when you added in alternate universes, it was even more complicated. Especially when Scott still tried to claim Cable and Rachel as dependents. Cable would be insulted by the very idea, and Rachel didn’t officially exist, and yet Scott insisted that he needed to claim them on his taxes, because he was responsible for them. They had to go through this every single year.
5. Professor Xavier was always trying to write off the weirdest things in his taxes. On some level, Bobby understood that all of the televisions that Jubilee blew up did count as an education-related expense, since they were blown up because of her mutant powers; it was just that the federal government didn’t tend to see things that way. Writing off the Blackbird as a work-related expense was another problem, although it was a little bit easier after the school went public.
There was no way that Bobby was ever going to be able to justify writing off Gambit’s playing card budget. Ever.
6. Wolverine. Just… Wolverine. Bobby would have gladly done taxes for the entire Brotherhood if it meant he never had to deal with Wolverine during tax season again.