Fic: Five Times Clark Was Asked to Open a Pickle Jar
Title: Five Times Clark Was Asked to Open a Pickle Jar
Rating: PGish
Disclaimer: If I owned DC, actual canon would be much different
Continuity: #4 references the gap before OYL
Pairing: mostly gen, Clark/Lois, Clark/Bruce if you squint
Word count: ~800
Summary: Five Times Clark Was Asked to Open a Pickle Jar
Notes: many thanks to zoe_chan for the beta and poisonivory for the inspiration. Any remaining mistakes are my own
Clark loved his mother very much. And he always made sure to pay at least a little bit of attention to her. She would occasionally call his name to get his attention and then just tell him she loved him. Clark deeply appreciated this.
Occasionally, she would call and summon him out to Smallville. Usually just to chat, but Clark was good about paying his family visits, but other times because for such a small town, Smallville saw a lot of monsters and other attacks.
When Clark heard his mother call his name in that tone of voice, he dropped whatever he was doing to check on her.
Which is why he was so surprised the one time he flew into the kitchen, only to find his mother struggling with a pickle jar.
“Ma?” he asked. “Is everything alright?”
“Clark!” Martha explained. “Thank God you’re here. Could you open this for me?” She held up the pickle jar.
Clark sighed and took the pickle jar, and easily opened it. “Here you go, Ma,” he said, holding it out to her.
“Oh, thank you, Clark!” she said. “Why don’t you stay and talk for a while?”
Clark smiled and took a seat. It was nice to be useful.
~*~
“Get in here, Smallville,” Lois ordered. It didn’t matter that Clark was supposed to be patrolling Metropolis, Lois needed him. Besides, the night was quiet.
“What can I do for you, Lois?”
She handed him a pickle jar. “Open it,” she said.
Clark easily twisted it off and handed the jar back to Lois. He raised an eyebrow. “Is that seriously why you called me?”
Lois rolled her eyes. “Of course not.” She put the pickle jar on the counter and gave Clark her best come hither look. “I’ve got you, and I’m sure I can think of something to do with you.”
~*~
Bruce didn’t request help very often. Which was why Clark was so concerned when he got the call for help.
”What’s wrong?” he asked.
Bruce was hunched over a console, and he seemed to be deeply engrossed in something. Clark made no move to interrupt. He was sure that Bruce would let him know when he was needed.
Finally, Bruce turned around. “I need you to open this,” he said, holding out a pickle jar.
Clark bit his lip in trying not to laugh - Bruce would never forgive him if he did. He wordlessly took the pickle jar, opened it, and handed it to Bruce, who accepted it without comment.
Clark turned to leave, when Bruce called his name.
“Yes?” Clark asked.
“Thank you,” Bruce said. Clark beamed at him.
“And never ever mention this again.”
~*~
All things considered, Clark really was enjoying the chance to be normal. At least now he could really understand what it was like for all the people he had been protecting for so long.
And it was nice to have a vacation. He was sure his powers would come back eventually.
“Hey, Smallville,” Lois called from the kitchen. “I could use some help.”
Clark walked in to see what she needed, and saw his wife struggling with a pickle jar.
“Here, let me,” he said, taking the jar from her. He had done this so many times in the past. He took the jar and twisted, but it remained stuck. He tried again.
It was stuck. But he could always open pickle jars. Always.
Lois laid a hand on his arm. “It’s okay, Smallville,” she said.
Clark threw the pickle jar across the room. It didn’t even break.
He just let Lois hold him. Now he knew what it was like to be ordinary.
~*~
“Are you okay?” Clark asked his neighbor. She seemed upset, and there had to be a reason she had knocked on his door.
“I just can’t get this stupid thing to open!” she said, holding out a pickle jar.
”Here, let me,” Clark offered, and he opened the top with practiced ease. He handed the jar back to her.
“Thank you, Clark,” she said, heading back to her apartment. “I owe you one.”
“No problem,” he smiled. “Uh, you forgot the top…” she was gone.
Clark shrugged, and headed outside. It was a beautiful night to fly. He didn’t even realize he was still holding onto the pickle jar top until he was already miles away. He absentmindedly tossed the top out of Earth’s atmosphere, and didn’t give it another thought.
Light years away
The invading force came to a halt as an object flung from Earth narrowly missed the lead ship.
“My queen?” asked the general. “Do you think they know we’re coming?”
The queen snarled. “Of course they do, you idiot. Why else would they have thrown an object at us?” She sighed. “Return home, this plan is ruined.”
Rating: PGish
Disclaimer: If I owned DC, actual canon would be much different
Continuity: #4 references the gap before OYL
Pairing: mostly gen, Clark/Lois, Clark/Bruce if you squint
Word count: ~800
Summary: Five Times Clark Was Asked to Open a Pickle Jar
Notes: many thanks to zoe_chan for the beta and poisonivory for the inspiration. Any remaining mistakes are my own
Clark loved his mother very much. And he always made sure to pay at least a little bit of attention to her. She would occasionally call his name to get his attention and then just tell him she loved him. Clark deeply appreciated this.
Occasionally, she would call and summon him out to Smallville. Usually just to chat, but Clark was good about paying his family visits, but other times because for such a small town, Smallville saw a lot of monsters and other attacks.
When Clark heard his mother call his name in that tone of voice, he dropped whatever he was doing to check on her.
Which is why he was so surprised the one time he flew into the kitchen, only to find his mother struggling with a pickle jar.
“Ma?” he asked. “Is everything alright?”
“Clark!” Martha explained. “Thank God you’re here. Could you open this for me?” She held up the pickle jar.
Clark sighed and took the pickle jar, and easily opened it. “Here you go, Ma,” he said, holding it out to her.
“Oh, thank you, Clark!” she said. “Why don’t you stay and talk for a while?”
Clark smiled and took a seat. It was nice to be useful.
~*~
“Get in here, Smallville,” Lois ordered. It didn’t matter that Clark was supposed to be patrolling Metropolis, Lois needed him. Besides, the night was quiet.
“What can I do for you, Lois?”
She handed him a pickle jar. “Open it,” she said.
Clark easily twisted it off and handed the jar back to Lois. He raised an eyebrow. “Is that seriously why you called me?”
Lois rolled her eyes. “Of course not.” She put the pickle jar on the counter and gave Clark her best come hither look. “I’ve got you, and I’m sure I can think of something to do with you.”
~*~
Bruce didn’t request help very often. Which was why Clark was so concerned when he got the call for help.
”What’s wrong?” he asked.
Bruce was hunched over a console, and he seemed to be deeply engrossed in something. Clark made no move to interrupt. He was sure that Bruce would let him know when he was needed.
Finally, Bruce turned around. “I need you to open this,” he said, holding out a pickle jar.
Clark bit his lip in trying not to laugh - Bruce would never forgive him if he did. He wordlessly took the pickle jar, opened it, and handed it to Bruce, who accepted it without comment.
Clark turned to leave, when Bruce called his name.
“Yes?” Clark asked.
“Thank you,” Bruce said. Clark beamed at him.
“And never ever mention this again.”
~*~
All things considered, Clark really was enjoying the chance to be normal. At least now he could really understand what it was like for all the people he had been protecting for so long.
And it was nice to have a vacation. He was sure his powers would come back eventually.
“Hey, Smallville,” Lois called from the kitchen. “I could use some help.”
Clark walked in to see what she needed, and saw his wife struggling with a pickle jar.
“Here, let me,” he said, taking the jar from her. He had done this so many times in the past. He took the jar and twisted, but it remained stuck. He tried again.
It was stuck. But he could always open pickle jars. Always.
Lois laid a hand on his arm. “It’s okay, Smallville,” she said.
Clark threw the pickle jar across the room. It didn’t even break.
He just let Lois hold him. Now he knew what it was like to be ordinary.
~*~
“Are you okay?” Clark asked his neighbor. She seemed upset, and there had to be a reason she had knocked on his door.
“I just can’t get this stupid thing to open!” she said, holding out a pickle jar.
”Here, let me,” Clark offered, and he opened the top with practiced ease. He handed the jar back to her.
“Thank you, Clark,” she said, heading back to her apartment. “I owe you one.”
“No problem,” he smiled. “Uh, you forgot the top…” she was gone.
Clark shrugged, and headed outside. It was a beautiful night to fly. He didn’t even realize he was still holding onto the pickle jar top until he was already miles away. He absentmindedly tossed the top out of Earth’s atmosphere, and didn’t give it another thought.
Light years away
The invading force came to a halt as an object flung from Earth narrowly missed the lead ship.
“My queen?” asked the general. “Do you think they know we’re coming?”
The queen snarled. “Of course they do, you idiot. Why else would they have thrown an object at us?” She sighed. “Return home, this plan is ruined.”