wolf like me
today, as predicted, has been a long day.
on the one hand, not so great:
1) there is no such thing as clean money. there is also no such thing as clean family, which is why i wasn't that surprised when my stepmother who is running for judge called me and asked me to "come up with some songs for a fashion show about job interviews."
her: do you have a boom box?
me: what?? no. i don't.. i mean, i have my car..?? what?? most people have mp3 players now.
her: it's for people who were homeless and are being re-integrated into jobs and stable homes. to become functioning members of society. i have to host a fashion show, and i need a boom box.
me: uhh...i mean, i've thrown a few uh, things... but.. usually event halls have people who..
her: this is a community center on the poor side of town. you've never been there. they can't afford that.
me: ... i see.
her: so i need some music.
me: uh, i'm living on a couch with my nails painted black. my last job interview was at a liquor store. so, ya know, i know absolutely nothing about what to wear to a job interview, much less what kind of music will be necessary to um, set a tone for that kind of event.
her: they also want some like, booty hip hop. they said that after you get a job you go out to the club with your friends to celebrate or something, apparently.
me: ....yeah. well. i don't know anything about hip hop. anything i gave you would be at best outdated and at worse offensive. why don't you just get their suggestions? isn't this a collaborative thing?
her: i don't have time to talk to their social workers, katie. this thing is FRIDAY.
...and people wonder why i can't go back to tallahassee. or politics.
2) in other news, never break up with someone in june. june is full of weddings. weddings are great, except when you have just been divorced, in which case they are a great opportunity to exercise your maturity muscles.
after watching the seeming entirety of my high school class/kindergarten best friends post their gorgeous, teary bride pictures on facebook, i have learned some impulse control. i am also trying my best to not gloat about the fact that *i* don't have to fucking ask someone what they want for dinner, or when they are getting up, or where they are going, or what does their mom think about bla bla bla.
on a related note, i have decided that my next relationship is going to be with a plant, preferably one that grows very slowly. also, i think that marriage is a bad idea--- in principle, though it seems as unpredictable as anything else in practice. (speaking of, rizzle, please remind me that we need to have a squeally, totally irrational conversation about the virtues of the Swiffer WetJet.)
3) aunt is back in the hospital. fortunately, her latest condition exists in normal humans and thus has a name. unfortunately, it's a latin name that means "blood is not pumping through her body and she cannot walk."
on the other hand, i could be on fire:
1) hot robot japan dance party mix is almost done.
2) downloaded leviathan, which i have been wanting to do for a long time.
3) going to the dentist tomorrow to get told that everything is fine and i will not have to have my mouth replaced. ahem.
4) living on a couch and drinking a lot is boring but pleasant.
5) smoking less, cleaned evan's bathroom, have gotten much better at not using my shoulders to downward dog.
on the one hand, not so great:
1) there is no such thing as clean money. there is also no such thing as clean family, which is why i wasn't that surprised when my stepmother who is running for judge called me and asked me to "come up with some songs for a fashion show about job interviews."
her: do you have a boom box?
me: what?? no. i don't.. i mean, i have my car..?? what?? most people have mp3 players now.
her: it's for people who were homeless and are being re-integrated into jobs and stable homes. to become functioning members of society. i have to host a fashion show, and i need a boom box.
me: uhh...i mean, i've thrown a few uh, things... but.. usually event halls have people who..
her: this is a community center on the poor side of town. you've never been there. they can't afford that.
me: ... i see.
her: so i need some music.
me: uh, i'm living on a couch with my nails painted black. my last job interview was at a liquor store. so, ya know, i know absolutely nothing about what to wear to a job interview, much less what kind of music will be necessary to um, set a tone for that kind of event.
her: they also want some like, booty hip hop. they said that after you get a job you go out to the club with your friends to celebrate or something, apparently.
me: ....yeah. well. i don't know anything about hip hop. anything i gave you would be at best outdated and at worse offensive. why don't you just get their suggestions? isn't this a collaborative thing?
her: i don't have time to talk to their social workers, katie. this thing is FRIDAY.
...and people wonder why i can't go back to tallahassee. or politics.
2) in other news, never break up with someone in june. june is full of weddings. weddings are great, except when you have just been divorced, in which case they are a great opportunity to exercise your maturity muscles.
after watching the seeming entirety of my high school class/kindergarten best friends post their gorgeous, teary bride pictures on facebook, i have learned some impulse control. i am also trying my best to not gloat about the fact that *i* don't have to fucking ask someone what they want for dinner, or when they are getting up, or where they are going, or what does their mom think about bla bla bla.
on a related note, i have decided that my next relationship is going to be with a plant, preferably one that grows very slowly. also, i think that marriage is a bad idea--- in principle, though it seems as unpredictable as anything else in practice. (speaking of, rizzle, please remind me that we need to have a squeally, totally irrational conversation about the virtues of the Swiffer WetJet.)
3) aunt is back in the hospital. fortunately, her latest condition exists in normal humans and thus has a name. unfortunately, it's a latin name that means "blood is not pumping through her body and she cannot walk."
on the other hand, i could be on fire:
1) hot robot japan dance party mix is almost done.
2) downloaded leviathan, which i have been wanting to do for a long time.
3) going to the dentist tomorrow to get told that everything is fine and i will not have to have my mouth replaced. ahem.
4) living on a couch and drinking a lot is boring but pleasant.
5) smoking less, cleaned evan's bathroom, have gotten much better at not using my shoulders to downward dog.
