I Can See It Coming While I'm Standing In The River Drowning
This could be my chance to break out, this could be my chance to say goodbye...
Ohemgee, I feel like I just had a ton of weights strapped to my back and they are crushing me back to the ground. It's like the worst feeling in the world and this was all brought on by talking to our school guidance counselor. She came into the room and I thought I was doing fairly well on my course to college... Wow, I was SO wrong. The lady comes in and hands us a bunch of stuff and tells me what all we need to have done already and the only thing I had done was scheduling myself for the ACT because I was too poor to take it last year. So, my dilemmas are as follows:
1.) I don't know where I want to go to college.
2.) I don't know what I want to do in college.
3.) I don't know how I am going to get financial aid because I have to go off of my parents income and they make too much money. I need to be going off of my income because they aren't going to help me with anything because they hate me. How do I know? They told me they were going too.
4.) And on top of all that I am working my ass off to be able to move out with miz0maliki which means I have no time to do school work so I might not pass my Senior year anyway.
kthnx
Ok...I think I'm good now that I have blogged angrily about my life. Now, in other news I do believe I fit the profile of a sociopath. Completely random? Yes. But I think it is seriously true because I have every element of the profile except the promiscuousness.
Glibness and Superficial Charm: Yes, I have this which would explain why certain people are just drawn to be my friend and want to be no matter what I do to them.
Manipulative and Conning: This one is also true because I get people close then I push them to there limits until they are about to break just to see how far I can push people. I don't recognize the fact that other people have rights.
Grandiose Sense of Self: I feel certain things are entitles as my right alone.
Pathological Lying: It's true...I can lie as if I believe it to be the truth and it is impossible for me to tell the truth on a consistant basis. Just look at me now, I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake....
Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt: Also pertaining to me because I can pretend I feel bad about something, but not really care I caused it. Also this runs back to the pathological lying thing. u_u;;
Shallow Emotions: When something would upset a normal person and bring them to tears I always remain unmoved and cold. My happiness is usually a false front used for manipulation... Sorry, but this is true too.
Incapacity for Love: I have never loved anyone at all. I consider love a feeling that you would die for that person and I can say I have never felt that at all for anyone.
Need for Stimulation: Explains my usual verbal outbursts and being a pyromaniac.
Callousness/Lack of Empathy: The people I manipulate get so hurt and down and I can never understand why. Once again, another true characteristic of a sociopath.
Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature: I believe I am all powerful, all-knowing, and everything I wish is entitled to me. Uncontrolable rages, etc.
Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency: Yeah...my criminal record explains it all.
Irresponsibility/Unreliability: I don't care if I wreck others lives by not showing up or doing things they ask. I just do whatever I feel like doing.
Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle: I'm a mooch. I bum whatever I can off of other people to live and continue through life.
Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility: Hence my switching from hippie like behavior to goth, to scene...etc.
That be all folks. D:
Ohemgee, I feel like I just had a ton of weights strapped to my back and they are crushing me back to the ground. It's like the worst feeling in the world and this was all brought on by talking to our school guidance counselor. She came into the room and I thought I was doing fairly well on my course to college... Wow, I was SO wrong. The lady comes in and hands us a bunch of stuff and tells me what all we need to have done already and the only thing I had done was scheduling myself for the ACT because I was too poor to take it last year. So, my dilemmas are as follows:
1.) I don't know where I want to go to college.
2.) I don't know what I want to do in college.
3.) I don't know how I am going to get financial aid because I have to go off of my parents income and they make too much money. I need to be going off of my income because they aren't going to help me with anything because they hate me. How do I know? They told me they were going too.
4.) And on top of all that I am working my ass off to be able to move out with miz0maliki which means I have no time to do school work so I might not pass my Senior year anyway.
kthnx
Ok...I think I'm good now that I have blogged angrily about my life. Now, in other news I do believe I fit the profile of a sociopath. Completely random? Yes. But I think it is seriously true because I have every element of the profile except the promiscuousness.
Glibness and Superficial Charm: Yes, I have this which would explain why certain people are just drawn to be my friend and want to be no matter what I do to them.
Manipulative and Conning: This one is also true because I get people close then I push them to there limits until they are about to break just to see how far I can push people. I don't recognize the fact that other people have rights.
Grandiose Sense of Self: I feel certain things are entitles as my right alone.
Pathological Lying: It's true...I can lie as if I believe it to be the truth and it is impossible for me to tell the truth on a consistant basis. Just look at me now, I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake....
Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt: Also pertaining to me because I can pretend I feel bad about something, but not really care I caused it. Also this runs back to the pathological lying thing. u_u;;
Shallow Emotions: When something would upset a normal person and bring them to tears I always remain unmoved and cold. My happiness is usually a false front used for manipulation... Sorry, but this is true too.
Incapacity for Love: I have never loved anyone at all. I consider love a feeling that you would die for that person and I can say I have never felt that at all for anyone.
Need for Stimulation: Explains my usual verbal outbursts and being a pyromaniac.
Callousness/Lack of Empathy: The people I manipulate get so hurt and down and I can never understand why. Once again, another true characteristic of a sociopath.
Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature: I believe I am all powerful, all-knowing, and everything I wish is entitled to me. Uncontrolable rages, etc.
Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency: Yeah...my criminal record explains it all.
Irresponsibility/Unreliability: I don't care if I wreck others lives by not showing up or doing things they ask. I just do whatever I feel like doing.
Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle: I'm a mooch. I bum whatever I can off of other people to live and continue through life.
Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility: Hence my switching from hippie like behavior to goth, to scene...etc.
That be all folks. D: