(no subject)
I am totally drained.
I feel like I have spent the whole day comforting other people and letting them lean on me and have no body to lean on myself. My mother was a complete wreck and was so sick she was not able to go see my grandmother today. I had to email my sister in England because nobody in my family had her phone number. She forgave me but I can't help feel like a complete jerk for letting her find out my grandma had a stroke in an email. She called and was crying so I spent time calming her down. Mainly she wanted to know if she needed to go get on a plane to be out here before my grandma died. Then when I got to the hospital my Aunt looked like crap. It is understandable under the circumstances but I have never seen he like that before. I had to reassure her that I was not upset with any of the decisions she had made as to Grandma's care. She was truly worried that I would be upset. She made the decisions I would have made in her place, but not that I would have said anything if I had disagreed. She looked like she was on the edge of a breakdown.
My grandmother is in no immediate danger. She is weak on her right side but it appears that she is not totally paralyzed there. She has some problems with the right side of her face, and she can't talk but she recognized me and smiled at me when I talked to her. My aunt says that is a great improvement after last night. She turns her head to look at you when you speak to her and she smiled at the little stuffed dog I brought her. I guess the first 72 hours after a stroke are what matters and after that we will have to see how much damage was done.
I am so tired I want to cry but have not found the time for that luxury. My brother is here and I am taking him and my mom to go see Grams tomorrow. I am a little irritated with him. He has to work tomorrow afternoon and I had to bully him into taking the day off. He has worked for the company for 15 years and has only called in sick 3 times. I know that his boss would give him the time if he asked he just never wants to ask. I'm afraid that I was rather mean to him on the subject but I am so worn out I had nothing else left. I told him that this was really important to me and if he didn't I would never speak to him again. I apologized as soon as he got here and luckily he has forgiven me my threat.
I feel so helpless, and I know that there is nothing I can do, at least for the next few days except hope for the best.
I feel like I have spent the whole day comforting other people and letting them lean on me and have no body to lean on myself. My mother was a complete wreck and was so sick she was not able to go see my grandmother today. I had to email my sister in England because nobody in my family had her phone number. She forgave me but I can't help feel like a complete jerk for letting her find out my grandma had a stroke in an email. She called and was crying so I spent time calming her down. Mainly she wanted to know if she needed to go get on a plane to be out here before my grandma died. Then when I got to the hospital my Aunt looked like crap. It is understandable under the circumstances but I have never seen he like that before. I had to reassure her that I was not upset with any of the decisions she had made as to Grandma's care. She was truly worried that I would be upset. She made the decisions I would have made in her place, but not that I would have said anything if I had disagreed. She looked like she was on the edge of a breakdown.
My grandmother is in no immediate danger. She is weak on her right side but it appears that she is not totally paralyzed there. She has some problems with the right side of her face, and she can't talk but she recognized me and smiled at me when I talked to her. My aunt says that is a great improvement after last night. She turns her head to look at you when you speak to her and she smiled at the little stuffed dog I brought her. I guess the first 72 hours after a stroke are what matters and after that we will have to see how much damage was done.
I am so tired I want to cry but have not found the time for that luxury. My brother is here and I am taking him and my mom to go see Grams tomorrow. I am a little irritated with him. He has to work tomorrow afternoon and I had to bully him into taking the day off. He has worked for the company for 15 years and has only called in sick 3 times. I know that his boss would give him the time if he asked he just never wants to ask. I'm afraid that I was rather mean to him on the subject but I am so worn out I had nothing else left. I told him that this was really important to me and if he didn't I would never speak to him again. I apologized as soon as he got here and luckily he has forgiven me my threat.
I feel so helpless, and I know that there is nothing I can do, at least for the next few days except hope for the best.