Gains and Losses- Chapter 2 "Promises" (Havoc)
This is the second chapter of the arc called "Gains and Losses". It is Havoc-centric. It is set in the mangaverse, so if you don't know what happens to Havoc around Chapter 38, then read it before you start this fic.
Title: Promises
Author: SeaweedOtter
Characters: Mostly Jean Havoc, Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye, but others will appear.
Rating: PG for a little language
Disclaimer: Manga Spoilers... Set in the manga, a couple years after the end of chapter 38. Maybe AU?
Summary: Jean didn't really need the constant reminders of how much he had lost.
Read all the chapters so far HERE!
It was a lucky break that there was a really nice noodle restaurant close to Breda's house that was able to take a large party that night. Of course, having the soon to be Fuhrer in thier party certainly made it alot easier.
Breda, Janet and Havoc arrived first. Falman was next, then Fuery and Al came about the same time. Havoc managed a bit of a laugh- despite this supposedly being a 'casual dinner', every single solider had individually decided to wear thier dress blues that night, including the soon to be Fuhrer. Havoc's heart ached. He would have loved nothing more than to have
been to do the same.
A few minutes later, Al walked in, looking handsome in a black dress shirt and black slacks. He was walking beside a tan skinned, dark haired lady with her hair pulled back into a tight ponytail. She had on a somewhat matching, long, black, sleevless dress that made her automail arm impossible to not notice. Armstrong entered about 5 minutes afterwards. As usual, Roy Mustang was the last to arrive, with Riza in a stunning long red dress that made Havoc want to shift in his seat, if he could have. All the men stood up when Riza came to the table- all but one of course. Havoc sighed, taking the life of yet another innocent toothpick. He knew there was a reason that he didnt like classy joints that didn't allow smoking. Give him a smoky bar any night.
"I am sorry, Riza. I would get up, but I am kinda stuck where I am." He smirked, trying to make light of the situation, attempting to diffuse what could have potentially been awkward. Breda noticed how much like the old Havoc he was, even if just for a moment. It gave Breda some hope that maybe things could get better for his friend.
"It is alright, Havoc. I understand." Riza didnt smile, but her voice wasn't sad. Roy pulled out her chair and she sat down, scooting it in. Roy took the seat beside her, and everyone else took thier seats. After dinner and drinks were ordered, the converations started. Each person took turns telling Havoc what they had been doing in the past couple of years. Most of what they were talking about he had heard from Breda in his visits, but Havoc appreciated hearing the people telling him themselves. It had been a long time since he had heard thier voices, he would have been happy if they had been reading the phone book to him. As long as it was the voices of his best friends.
Breda started, telling Havoc how he had proposed to Janet just before his last visit, and how they had both already decided that he was going to be thier best man. They had set thier wedding for the fall, about 8 months away. Havoc was honored, but had to admit that he wasn't sure if he would be able to accept.
"I don't know much of a best man I will make. I am only half a man at best." Havoc bitterly quipped.
"Well if you don't accept, I will kill you and you won't be any sort of a man at all." Breda only half jokingly replied.
Havoc smiled for a moment, then shrugged. "Well, if you put it that way, then I guess I dont have a choice. A life, even one in a chair, is better than no life at all." He paused for a moment, getting a grim, steely determination in his eyes. "I will promise you this, Breda. I promise that I will be standing at your wedding. I can't promise how long I will be able to stand, or that I will be able to do much else, but I *WILL* make that happen." There were gasps from the entire group. As far as they had heard, he still didn't have any feeling in his legs. He went around the table, taking in the looks of shock and wonder at what he had said.
"Yeah, I have been keeping a little something from you guys, even Breda." He shot a look of apology at his friend. "It isn't much, and I wanted to wait to tell you guys untill I had some more signifigant news, but I guess that now is about a good as time as any. Some doctors from Xing have been working on me for a couple of months. I have been gettting a tiny bit of feeling back, but it is very slow going, and the pain is hard to bear. I can't take much of thier 'therapy' at a time." He paused for a second, letting out a deep breath and closing his eyes for a moment. "But if it means that I will get to stand at my best friend's wedding, then I will bear ten times the pain to make it happen." The smile on Breda's face told the whole story.
Not much was said for a moment. Breda looked like he was going to tear up, but quickly composed himself. Havoc looked over at Roy, who was smiling softly, sadly. He of all people knew what it was like to see someone stubborn enough to do anything to reach thier goal. He had seen it in his young alchemist who was very conspicuously absent.
After that bit of news, niether Falman nor Fuery had much to add. They had both gained a couple of ranks. Fuery was now in charge of radio communications. Falman moved back from Investigations to work directly under Mustang. Armstrong didn't have alot of information to update either. He had risen a rank, but still hadn't been given much more responsibilty, which seemed to suit him fine.
Riza admitted to Havoc that she and Roy had indeed had feelings for each other for quite a long time, and that they had already planned a wedding for next spring, so Mustang would have time to settle into his new role as Fuhrer. Havoc was dead quiet while she was talking, a bit of the color draining out of his cheeks. Deep in his heart he had known that Riza was
unattainable, but this was the final nail in that coffin. Any lingering doubts that his mind wwas making, any excuses that he would somehow find a way to woo the unattainable beauty that was Riza Hawkeye was gone in a flash. All of a sudden, he didn't really want to eat the food that was rapidly cooling in front of him.
Roy didn't have much to add to what Riza had said. He gave some of the details on what happened in Central after the uprising, and how he had so quickly rose to the highest rank in the military, adding quite a few details that the papers that Havoc had been reading either didn't or couldn't give. When he was done, there was more silence. There was one more person to speak, and he didn't seem too keen on saying anything.
"Um, Al. I don't think I know your companion." Havoc tried to be pleasant, but still goad the boy into saying at least something. There was one topic that everyone had been ignoring since he had arrived, and they all knew that this young man was the one to talk about it. Al snapped out of whatever deep thoughts he had been in, blushing slightly as being caught not paying attention. He fiddled with his napkin under the table. "Oh, I am sorry." He said, distactedly. "This is Paninya. She is a friend of mine." Paninya waved and smiled, blushing a little.
"Hello all. I met Al when he and.. " she paused. "When he was in Rush Valley. That is where I am from." The silence at the table was deafening.
Havoc sighed deely, rubbing his hand over his face. "Look. I am not the brightest person here, but I can tell that there is something... or someone that no one wants to talk about. Why don't we just get it out into the open, so we can relax? I am tired of all this walking on eggshells." He hadn't realized how wierdly ironic his statement was untill after it had left his mouth.
Al looked down at his food, pushed it away, and let out a deep breath. "How much about my brother has Breda told you?" he asked slowly, deliberatly.
"Well.." all of a sudden, the dropping feeling in his stomach made Havoc wonder if he really did want to bring this up, "He told me that after the coup there was some previously secret information about the Philosopher's Stone that Bradley had been hiding, and that had allowed him to use the stone to give you your body back, but he was lost in the process." Havoc paused, taking a long drink of his beer. "That.. is about it."
Al fought back tears in his eyes. He spoke must softer than before. "Honestly, that is about all there is to it. I don't know what happened to him. I don't know if he is alive or dead, at the Gate or beyond." He looked down to his half eaten food, not wanting to look into peoples' eyes. "I have been trying to do more research to see if I can get him back. But so far I have found nothing. The stone went with brother to wherever he is now, so even if I wanted to, I can't use it to bring him back. And I don't think he would want me to, anyways."
Havoc wasn't really sure what to say to him. Everyone here had experienced loss in some way or another, a best friend, a co-worker, a mother, a brother. It was an unfortunate trait that they all shared. The rest of the dinner went pretty quietly, although nobody seemed to have much of an appetite. Havoc's hope that everyone would relax unfortunatly didnt come true, and when it was time for dinner to end, most people couldn't leave fast enough. Breda, Havoc, and Al hung back from the rest of the group for a moment.
"Look, Al. I am sorry." Havoc started. "I didn't mean to dredge up some old wounds. Believe me, I know how much wounds hurt." He rubbed the scars on his stomach iddly. Al noticed the movement and nodded quietly.
"It is okay, Havoc. It is something that I have to live with, same as you. This is pain that we have to deal with, each in our own way." Al put his hand on Havoc's shoulder gently and walked outside to meet Paninya, who was waiting for him.
"Breda, I need a smoke."
"Alright, chief."
They met Roy and Riza outside. Roy handed him an envelope with an official seal. "Here are three tickets for you guys, in the booth with the rest of us. There will be a car to pick you guys up at 0800 hours, so dont go out drinking tomorrow night, because you have to look good for me." Havoc coughed, almost losing his cigarette in the process. Roy's countenance dimmed, the stone face that Havoc had seen almost every day at work showing once again. "You find something funny, Jean?" He said, more than a little annoyance in his tone.
"Nah, chief." Havoc smiled, trying to lighten the mood. "I just like how you are still looking after me. Even though I asked to be left behind, you are too stubborn to do that. You always have been a stubborn one, Boss. Ya never take no for an answer."
Roy smiled, patting Havoc's shoulder. "Well, I already told you that I will be waiting for you at the top. My offer still stands. I held my end of the bargain, now it is time to hold up yours." With one last smile, he looked to Riza, giving her a little squeeze of the hand, and they walked off towards their car. Breda stood in silence for a while, letting Havoc finish his cigarette, and let him think.
"I dont get it..." Havoc finally said. "Why is he still waiting for me? I mean even if, by some miracle, I am able to stand, even if it is just for a couple of minutes at your wedding, even the Xing healers don't think I will ever be able to walk." He took one last drag, held it, and blew out his last puff of smoke for the night. "Just beause they can make me feel my legs, that doesn't mean that they can help me move them."
"Well, we will cross that bridge when we get there. Let's just get going. It is late, and I know you have had a long day." He started to wheel Havoc towards the car that Janet had just brought around. "Come on, chief."
Title: Promises
Author: SeaweedOtter
Characters: Mostly Jean Havoc, Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye, but others will appear.
Rating: PG for a little language
Disclaimer: Manga Spoilers... Set in the manga, a couple years after the end of chapter 38. Maybe AU?
Summary: Jean didn't really need the constant reminders of how much he had lost.
Read all the chapters so far HERE!
It was a lucky break that there was a really nice noodle restaurant close to Breda's house that was able to take a large party that night. Of course, having the soon to be Fuhrer in thier party certainly made it alot easier.
Breda, Janet and Havoc arrived first. Falman was next, then Fuery and Al came about the same time. Havoc managed a bit of a laugh- despite this supposedly being a 'casual dinner', every single solider had individually decided to wear thier dress blues that night, including the soon to be Fuhrer. Havoc's heart ached. He would have loved nothing more than to have
been to do the same.
A few minutes later, Al walked in, looking handsome in a black dress shirt and black slacks. He was walking beside a tan skinned, dark haired lady with her hair pulled back into a tight ponytail. She had on a somewhat matching, long, black, sleevless dress that made her automail arm impossible to not notice. Armstrong entered about 5 minutes afterwards. As usual, Roy Mustang was the last to arrive, with Riza in a stunning long red dress that made Havoc want to shift in his seat, if he could have. All the men stood up when Riza came to the table- all but one of course. Havoc sighed, taking the life of yet another innocent toothpick. He knew there was a reason that he didnt like classy joints that didn't allow smoking. Give him a smoky bar any night.
"I am sorry, Riza. I would get up, but I am kinda stuck where I am." He smirked, trying to make light of the situation, attempting to diffuse what could have potentially been awkward. Breda noticed how much like the old Havoc he was, even if just for a moment. It gave Breda some hope that maybe things could get better for his friend.
"It is alright, Havoc. I understand." Riza didnt smile, but her voice wasn't sad. Roy pulled out her chair and she sat down, scooting it in. Roy took the seat beside her, and everyone else took thier seats. After dinner and drinks were ordered, the converations started. Each person took turns telling Havoc what they had been doing in the past couple of years. Most of what they were talking about he had heard from Breda in his visits, but Havoc appreciated hearing the people telling him themselves. It had been a long time since he had heard thier voices, he would have been happy if they had been reading the phone book to him. As long as it was the voices of his best friends.
Breda started, telling Havoc how he had proposed to Janet just before his last visit, and how they had both already decided that he was going to be thier best man. They had set thier wedding for the fall, about 8 months away. Havoc was honored, but had to admit that he wasn't sure if he would be able to accept.
"I don't know much of a best man I will make. I am only half a man at best." Havoc bitterly quipped.
"Well if you don't accept, I will kill you and you won't be any sort of a man at all." Breda only half jokingly replied.
Havoc smiled for a moment, then shrugged. "Well, if you put it that way, then I guess I dont have a choice. A life, even one in a chair, is better than no life at all." He paused for a moment, getting a grim, steely determination in his eyes. "I will promise you this, Breda. I promise that I will be standing at your wedding. I can't promise how long I will be able to stand, or that I will be able to do much else, but I *WILL* make that happen." There were gasps from the entire group. As far as they had heard, he still didn't have any feeling in his legs. He went around the table, taking in the looks of shock and wonder at what he had said.
"Yeah, I have been keeping a little something from you guys, even Breda." He shot a look of apology at his friend. "It isn't much, and I wanted to wait to tell you guys untill I had some more signifigant news, but I guess that now is about a good as time as any. Some doctors from Xing have been working on me for a couple of months. I have been gettting a tiny bit of feeling back, but it is very slow going, and the pain is hard to bear. I can't take much of thier 'therapy' at a time." He paused for a second, letting out a deep breath and closing his eyes for a moment. "But if it means that I will get to stand at my best friend's wedding, then I will bear ten times the pain to make it happen." The smile on Breda's face told the whole story.
Not much was said for a moment. Breda looked like he was going to tear up, but quickly composed himself. Havoc looked over at Roy, who was smiling softly, sadly. He of all people knew what it was like to see someone stubborn enough to do anything to reach thier goal. He had seen it in his young alchemist who was very conspicuously absent.
After that bit of news, niether Falman nor Fuery had much to add. They had both gained a couple of ranks. Fuery was now in charge of radio communications. Falman moved back from Investigations to work directly under Mustang. Armstrong didn't have alot of information to update either. He had risen a rank, but still hadn't been given much more responsibilty, which seemed to suit him fine.
Riza admitted to Havoc that she and Roy had indeed had feelings for each other for quite a long time, and that they had already planned a wedding for next spring, so Mustang would have time to settle into his new role as Fuhrer. Havoc was dead quiet while she was talking, a bit of the color draining out of his cheeks. Deep in his heart he had known that Riza was
unattainable, but this was the final nail in that coffin. Any lingering doubts that his mind wwas making, any excuses that he would somehow find a way to woo the unattainable beauty that was Riza Hawkeye was gone in a flash. All of a sudden, he didn't really want to eat the food that was rapidly cooling in front of him.
Roy didn't have much to add to what Riza had said. He gave some of the details on what happened in Central after the uprising, and how he had so quickly rose to the highest rank in the military, adding quite a few details that the papers that Havoc had been reading either didn't or couldn't give. When he was done, there was more silence. There was one more person to speak, and he didn't seem too keen on saying anything.
"Um, Al. I don't think I know your companion." Havoc tried to be pleasant, but still goad the boy into saying at least something. There was one topic that everyone had been ignoring since he had arrived, and they all knew that this young man was the one to talk about it. Al snapped out of whatever deep thoughts he had been in, blushing slightly as being caught not paying attention. He fiddled with his napkin under the table. "Oh, I am sorry." He said, distactedly. "This is Paninya. She is a friend of mine." Paninya waved and smiled, blushing a little.
"Hello all. I met Al when he and.. " she paused. "When he was in Rush Valley. That is where I am from." The silence at the table was deafening.
Havoc sighed deely, rubbing his hand over his face. "Look. I am not the brightest person here, but I can tell that there is something... or someone that no one wants to talk about. Why don't we just get it out into the open, so we can relax? I am tired of all this walking on eggshells." He hadn't realized how wierdly ironic his statement was untill after it had left his mouth.
Al looked down at his food, pushed it away, and let out a deep breath. "How much about my brother has Breda told you?" he asked slowly, deliberatly.
"Well.." all of a sudden, the dropping feeling in his stomach made Havoc wonder if he really did want to bring this up, "He told me that after the coup there was some previously secret information about the Philosopher's Stone that Bradley had been hiding, and that had allowed him to use the stone to give you your body back, but he was lost in the process." Havoc paused, taking a long drink of his beer. "That.. is about it."
Al fought back tears in his eyes. He spoke must softer than before. "Honestly, that is about all there is to it. I don't know what happened to him. I don't know if he is alive or dead, at the Gate or beyond." He looked down to his half eaten food, not wanting to look into peoples' eyes. "I have been trying to do more research to see if I can get him back. But so far I have found nothing. The stone went with brother to wherever he is now, so even if I wanted to, I can't use it to bring him back. And I don't think he would want me to, anyways."
Havoc wasn't really sure what to say to him. Everyone here had experienced loss in some way or another, a best friend, a co-worker, a mother, a brother. It was an unfortunate trait that they all shared. The rest of the dinner went pretty quietly, although nobody seemed to have much of an appetite. Havoc's hope that everyone would relax unfortunatly didnt come true, and when it was time for dinner to end, most people couldn't leave fast enough. Breda, Havoc, and Al hung back from the rest of the group for a moment.
"Look, Al. I am sorry." Havoc started. "I didn't mean to dredge up some old wounds. Believe me, I know how much wounds hurt." He rubbed the scars on his stomach iddly. Al noticed the movement and nodded quietly.
"It is okay, Havoc. It is something that I have to live with, same as you. This is pain that we have to deal with, each in our own way." Al put his hand on Havoc's shoulder gently and walked outside to meet Paninya, who was waiting for him.
"Breda, I need a smoke."
"Alright, chief."
They met Roy and Riza outside. Roy handed him an envelope with an official seal. "Here are three tickets for you guys, in the booth with the rest of us. There will be a car to pick you guys up at 0800 hours, so dont go out drinking tomorrow night, because you have to look good for me." Havoc coughed, almost losing his cigarette in the process. Roy's countenance dimmed, the stone face that Havoc had seen almost every day at work showing once again. "You find something funny, Jean?" He said, more than a little annoyance in his tone.
"Nah, chief." Havoc smiled, trying to lighten the mood. "I just like how you are still looking after me. Even though I asked to be left behind, you are too stubborn to do that. You always have been a stubborn one, Boss. Ya never take no for an answer."
Roy smiled, patting Havoc's shoulder. "Well, I already told you that I will be waiting for you at the top. My offer still stands. I held my end of the bargain, now it is time to hold up yours." With one last smile, he looked to Riza, giving her a little squeeze of the hand, and they walked off towards their car. Breda stood in silence for a while, letting Havoc finish his cigarette, and let him think.
"I dont get it..." Havoc finally said. "Why is he still waiting for me? I mean even if, by some miracle, I am able to stand, even if it is just for a couple of minutes at your wedding, even the Xing healers don't think I will ever be able to walk." He took one last drag, held it, and blew out his last puff of smoke for the night. "Just beause they can make me feel my legs, that doesn't mean that they can help me move them."
"Well, we will cross that bridge when we get there. Let's just get going. It is late, and I know you have had a long day." He started to wheel Havoc towards the car that Janet had just brought around. "Come on, chief."