The Seed of the Fire- Chapter 21: "Sleepless Nights" (Mustang x Hughes)

[seaweed_fma]

Title: Sleepless Nights (The Seed of the Fire- Chapter 21

Comments

[chiharu_octavia]

@___@ Uwaaaaah....!

I just decided, out of nowhere, to read this chapter, and it had my favorite thing in it: drunk!Roy! WOOHOO~

I liked the pacing and the story-telling rather a lot. The chapter wasn't too long, but it wasn't too short, either. Enough stuff happened to make me think I should read the next installment. XD

I only have a couple of suggestions: (1) Ask someone to beta your work for grammatical and spelling errors, and (2) USE CONTRACTIONS. Oh my goodness, your characters will sound much more natural if you write "I'm fine" instead of "I am fine."

Other than those, great job! Keep up the good work~ ^__^

[thincirithiel]

Okay, some critic. This story is at the moment moving to nowhere :/ Please, make some progress soon! Yes, it's cute and well done that you describe the feelings and stuff, but I understood that this story should get to some point. At the moment, it really isn't doing it.

Still, I like it :)

[secretfreaky]

Beautiful work! Poor Roy! I hope he decides drinking himself into a stupor is no way to deal with a broken heart. *wipes tears* I want to smack Maes on the back of his head to get that tiny brain back to loving only Roy! I know, I know, it doesn't happen that way, but I can dream....The progression of this story is terrific!

[anonymous]

Wowwww. I've been reading this for a few days now, and I am AMAZED! Such good writing, and so heart breaking. KEEP ON WRITING! I'll seriously go insane if theres no more to read... You are such a wonderful author... I wish there was a way I could steal your writing skills from you!