guuuhhhh
will use this journal again, I promise.
Haven't been writing, have been using tumblr as distraction from real-life panic-inducing MADNESS and I should stop
It's so weird how everybody skipped over there, but I still prefer LJ, mostly. Tumblr is fun and easy and a good lay, but LJ is sweet and steady and knows what I like.
I have to stop putting question marks between sentences that are not questions. It's annoying and it makes my writing look like I'm insecure, and we do not want that.
I'm thinking about writing something inspired by the tags in this post
It'd be a bit slave-fic like? I guess? Because Niall, as a clone, would be very much dependent on Zayn in this scenario, and they don't know what'll happen to him when he gets send back. And Niall remembers only the past month or so of his existence ("I woke up in this body, and the doctors told me my name is Niall 8. They told me about original Niall, and how he'd want me to make people happy, and then they sent me to you, so I guess I should make you happy?") and Zayn would be so confused because Niall is Niall you know? He's sweet and carefree and it is so easy for Zayn to believe that he's a real person, but he's not. There're 7 other boys like him out there, when the most important part of Zayn's identity had always been his unique looks and attitude and lifestyle. And now he's got this, this clone, who smiles and plays the guitar and likes chicken, but also all other food, and he can't deal?
And slowly, they work things out, like, for example, that the facility that made Niall gave him special training, to make sure his owner would be happy, or that is bother him that he can't go outside by himself and that he, for one, is certain of his realness. Because here's his body and here is his mind, and he likes things and hates things and Zayn. Zayn is important to him even though Zayn isn't who Niall was made for, so it must be love, right?
And they fight about this, about Niall's ability to love and how it's impossible for him to feel genuine emotion when people have screwed with his mind. And it fucks whatever peace they'd found up, and later Zayn finds Niall sitting on the couch, crying a little just repeating "That's not true, I'm real, I'm real." and Zayn feels horrible, but he knows he's right. Right? Clones aren't real, they're just a copy of a real human being. They have no history, no memories, they've literally got no soul.
And Niall runs away, to escape the situation? Because if Zayn thinks he needs memories to be real, then he'll goddam get some. And he steals one of Zayn's acoustic guitars and nothing else, and the greyound takes him to the next big city and his busking takes him further and then he's gone, without a trace. Zayn could probably find him, but honestly, he doesn't want to draw attention to the fact that Niall's a clone, because who knows what'll happen. Zayn busies himself with a new album, a new tour again, and if his music is a little more acoustic, a little more mellow, nobody mentions it.
Niall meets Harry and Louis and Liam, and they take him in for a while. They're students, trying to make it. Harry's working in a pizzeria when he's not studying law and sociology, and he's a strong advocate for clone rights, thinks that just because a person has been grown instead of born doesn't mean they aren't human. Niall learns a lot. Louis is a teacher for little kids, takes Niall with him sometimes, to play with the children, because it makes Niall happy and the little ones love him. In the back of Niall's mind, he thinks that this is what he's missing. This is why Zayn thinks he's not real, and he tells Liam about it one time, late at night, when they're watching that really old movie about the toys with souls, and Liam tells him how clones are grown to a certain age that was discussed with whatever person buys them, and how they could have just let him grow up, but that's more expensive. Liam also tells him about how sometimes they do the same thing to normal babies who are born too early, and how it's not a bad thing at all. (Liam is good at putting things together, Niall thinks, at putting things into perspective.)
They send Niall back when he starts getting antsy, because they know his story, and they think Niall should work it out, but Niall is scared, so they pack up their bags and go with him, back, back, back to Zayn's mansion... only he isn't there. They wait in the car until evening, and Niall insists on waiting longer even when the others are tired and ready to look for a hotel. (the recogition software lets Niall in when he tries. He sits quietly on the sofa until Zayn comes back- he doesn't expect Zayn's smile to be as big, doesn't expect Zayn's eyes to crinkle, but they do)
They work it out, after that. Because Zayn has been doing research, has figured out for himself that he's been an ass, and a horrible human being. It only takes a Harry, a Louis and a Liam to fix that, though. (It only takes Niall's return, after all he's achieved, for him to really know for sure)
they fall into place easily after that. (Zayn adds one of Niall's songs to his playlist. He gets full credit. they go out in the open with their story, start fighting for Niall's rights with Harry's help and Liam and Louis' support)
Haven't been writing, have been using tumblr as distraction from real-life panic-inducing MADNESS and I should stop
It's so weird how everybody skipped over there, but I still prefer LJ, mostly. Tumblr is fun and easy and a good lay, but LJ is sweet and steady and knows what I like.
I have to stop putting question marks between sentences that are not questions. It's annoying and it makes my writing look like I'm insecure, and we do not want that.
I'm thinking about writing something inspired by the tags in this post
It'd be a bit slave-fic like? I guess? Because Niall, as a clone, would be very much dependent on Zayn in this scenario, and they don't know what'll happen to him when he gets send back. And Niall remembers only the past month or so of his existence ("I woke up in this body, and the doctors told me my name is Niall 8. They told me about original Niall, and how he'd want me to make people happy, and then they sent me to you, so I guess I should make you happy?") and Zayn would be so confused because Niall is Niall you know? He's sweet and carefree and it is so easy for Zayn to believe that he's a real person, but he's not. There're 7 other boys like him out there, when the most important part of Zayn's identity had always been his unique looks and attitude and lifestyle. And now he's got this, this clone, who smiles and plays the guitar and likes chicken, but also all other food, and he can't deal?
And slowly, they work things out, like, for example, that the facility that made Niall gave him special training, to make sure his owner would be happy, or that is bother him that he can't go outside by himself and that he, for one, is certain of his realness. Because here's his body and here is his mind, and he likes things and hates things and Zayn. Zayn is important to him even though Zayn isn't who Niall was made for, so it must be love, right?
And they fight about this, about Niall's ability to love and how it's impossible for him to feel genuine emotion when people have screwed with his mind. And it fucks whatever peace they'd found up, and later Zayn finds Niall sitting on the couch, crying a little just repeating "That's not true, I'm real, I'm real." and Zayn feels horrible, but he knows he's right. Right? Clones aren't real, they're just a copy of a real human being. They have no history, no memories, they've literally got no soul.
And Niall runs away, to escape the situation? Because if Zayn thinks he needs memories to be real, then he'll goddam get some. And he steals one of Zayn's acoustic guitars and nothing else, and the greyound takes him to the next big city and his busking takes him further and then he's gone, without a trace. Zayn could probably find him, but honestly, he doesn't want to draw attention to the fact that Niall's a clone, because who knows what'll happen. Zayn busies himself with a new album, a new tour again, and if his music is a little more acoustic, a little more mellow, nobody mentions it.
Niall meets Harry and Louis and Liam, and they take him in for a while. They're students, trying to make it. Harry's working in a pizzeria when he's not studying law and sociology, and he's a strong advocate for clone rights, thinks that just because a person has been grown instead of born doesn't mean they aren't human. Niall learns a lot. Louis is a teacher for little kids, takes Niall with him sometimes, to play with the children, because it makes Niall happy and the little ones love him. In the back of Niall's mind, he thinks that this is what he's missing. This is why Zayn thinks he's not real, and he tells Liam about it one time, late at night, when they're watching that really old movie about the toys with souls, and Liam tells him how clones are grown to a certain age that was discussed with whatever person buys them, and how they could have just let him grow up, but that's more expensive. Liam also tells him about how sometimes they do the same thing to normal babies who are born too early, and how it's not a bad thing at all. (Liam is good at putting things together, Niall thinks, at putting things into perspective.)
They send Niall back when he starts getting antsy, because they know his story, and they think Niall should work it out, but Niall is scared, so they pack up their bags and go with him, back, back, back to Zayn's mansion... only he isn't there. They wait in the car until evening, and Niall insists on waiting longer even when the others are tired and ready to look for a hotel. (the recogition software lets Niall in when he tries. He sits quietly on the sofa until Zayn comes back- he doesn't expect Zayn's smile to be as big, doesn't expect Zayn's eyes to crinkle, but they do)
They work it out, after that. Because Zayn has been doing research, has figured out for himself that he's been an ass, and a horrible human being. It only takes a Harry, a Louis and a Liam to fix that, though. (It only takes Niall's return, after all he's achieved, for him to really know for sure)
they fall into place easily after that. (Zayn adds one of Niall's songs to his playlist. He gets full credit. they go out in the open with their story, start fighting for Niall's rights with Harry's help and Liam and Louis' support)