The most popular form of kung fu
Millions of Americans, and billions world-wide practice it. You may not have known it was a martial art. You may have just thought it was something that crazy people did. You may have thought that some people should do it more often (but then, you've probably never done it yourself, in that case). You may have been impressed by seeing other people in action, and you may have been appalled by the scars that can sometimes result. But nothing, nothing, nothing says 'Merry Christmas' like having to bathe your cat.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, cat bathing is a martial art.
It's one part advanced wrestling techniques, one part stoic pain endurance philosophy, one part mental and emotional toughness (repeat this mantra to yourself: "I am not hurting the cat, despite his piteous waling. I am not hurting the cat..."), and part inventive daring-do. You will, most likely, receive numerous cuts and scrapes on your hands and arms as the cat attempts to climb up YOU to escape the punishment; suffer post-traumatic shunning the likes of which usually only happens when you leave for a week or two; forever after be haunted by the guilt of ignoring the most wretched sound your favorite pet has ever made.
But sometimes, it simply has to be done.
This morning, I woke up after just 5 hours of sleep to the sound of the cat scratching away at the carpet, the wall, and just about anything else in his general region. Which is to say, I woke up to the sound of knowing there had been a 'litter-box incident'. These are usually fairly benign and can often be solved with a paper towel and a spray bottle of carpet cleaner. But when you have a long-haired cat, about 1 in 10 of these can have relatively nasty consequences to your pet's fur.
This was one of those.
There are two ways of dealing with these most dreaded occurances. 1: Let the cat deal with it. This method has the benefit of avoiding just about all of the penalties associated above. The downside is that anywhere your cat sits for the next hour or two is suspect to damage, and when you're trying to sleep (this is going to be a long day), you simply don't have the ability to go around behind him and inspect. Plus, I have light colored carpet. Out of the question. Option 2: Bathe your cat. This is pretty-much the worst case scenario described above. The slight upshot to this method is being able to point and giggle at your cat's expense for the rest of the morning when he walks by shaking his back leg in the air every second step.
Next time, I'm doing this with oven mits.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, cat bathing is a martial art.
It's one part advanced wrestling techniques, one part stoic pain endurance philosophy, one part mental and emotional toughness (repeat this mantra to yourself: "I am not hurting the cat, despite his piteous waling. I am not hurting the cat..."), and part inventive daring-do. You will, most likely, receive numerous cuts and scrapes on your hands and arms as the cat attempts to climb up YOU to escape the punishment; suffer post-traumatic shunning the likes of which usually only happens when you leave for a week or two; forever after be haunted by the guilt of ignoring the most wretched sound your favorite pet has ever made.
But sometimes, it simply has to be done.
This morning, I woke up after just 5 hours of sleep to the sound of the cat scratching away at the carpet, the wall, and just about anything else in his general region. Which is to say, I woke up to the sound of knowing there had been a 'litter-box incident'. These are usually fairly benign and can often be solved with a paper towel and a spray bottle of carpet cleaner. But when you have a long-haired cat, about 1 in 10 of these can have relatively nasty consequences to your pet's fur.
This was one of those.
There are two ways of dealing with these most dreaded occurances. 1: Let the cat deal with it. This method has the benefit of avoiding just about all of the penalties associated above. The downside is that anywhere your cat sits for the next hour or two is suspect to damage, and when you're trying to sleep (this is going to be a long day), you simply don't have the ability to go around behind him and inspect. Plus, I have light colored carpet. Out of the question. Option 2: Bathe your cat. This is pretty-much the worst case scenario described above. The slight upshot to this method is being able to point and giggle at your cat's expense for the rest of the morning when he walks by shaking his back leg in the air every second step.
Next time, I'm doing this with oven mits.