paint me blue
I enter the resident locker room after my final ventricular reconstruction with Lexie and Dr. Brendon. I make a mental note to check on the guy with the emergent CABG tomorrow. Along with ten other patients.
Man. I don't think I've ever held so many hearts in one day. I usually couldn't wait to tell Cristina but... I can't feel anything but bad for her and Burke. Losing a parent. I can't even imagine.
I change and grab my coat, noticing the familiar sound of rain against the hospital windows. As I head for the front doors, I stop and listen for a moment. I should be happy for all the surgeries. And I am. I'm happy to save lives, but I'm even more happy for the distraction.
I thought being close to her all day would have made things worse. But I managed to focus most of my attention on the medicine. Every time my glance would linger on her a moment too long, I'd force myself to look away. Before she could smile. Or laugh. Or give me that God damn look. The look that makes me forget I have a girlfriend walking around somewhere in this hospital. That makes me long for the taste of her lips. The scent of her hair. The feeling of her body pressed up against mine.
I groan, collapsing into a lobby chair. I've managed to make it through the entire day without getting lost in that look. So, I can do this. I can be just friends with Lexie again. I watch people leave the hospital, umbrellas pulled tight against their sides.
If we just would have never kissed. All of this would be so much easier.
Man. I don't think I've ever held so many hearts in one day. I usually couldn't wait to tell Cristina but... I can't feel anything but bad for her and Burke. Losing a parent. I can't even imagine.
I change and grab my coat, noticing the familiar sound of rain against the hospital windows. As I head for the front doors, I stop and listen for a moment. I should be happy for all the surgeries. And I am. I'm happy to save lives, but I'm even more happy for the distraction.
I thought being close to her all day would have made things worse. But I managed to focus most of my attention on the medicine. Every time my glance would linger on her a moment too long, I'd force myself to look away. Before she could smile. Or laugh. Or give me that God damn look. The look that makes me forget I have a girlfriend walking around somewhere in this hospital. That makes me long for the taste of her lips. The scent of her hair. The feeling of her body pressed up against mine.
I groan, collapsing into a lobby chair. I've managed to make it through the entire day without getting lost in that look. So, I can do this. I can be just friends with Lexie again. I watch people leave the hospital, umbrellas pulled tight against their sides.
If we just would have never kissed. All of this would be so much easier.