Only The Lonely

[drcristinayang]

I stand in Linh's door, watching her poke at her disgusting looking breakfast and I sigh. She'd better be glad I had a halfway decent night, because this baby sitting stuff has gotten to be quite old.

"Aren't you supposed to eat that or whatever? Feed the baby you don't want?"

Comments

[seattle_patient]

I glance up from my tray and see Dr. Yang standing in the doorway. "I can't," I answer, pushing the tray away. "It's digsuting. How was your date last night?"

[drcristinayang]

"Why don't you have somebody else to babysit you?" I counter back, already tired of her personal questions.

[seattle_patient]

"Humor me. The most interesting part of my day is listening to the nurses gossip. Give me some details."

[drcristinayang]

"Where's your family? Why can't they humor you?"

[seattle_patient]

"My family is right here," I answer, patting my stomach. "He's not great at holding a conversation yet."

[drcristinayang]

"Your mother? Father? Boyfriend? The person who's going to be here when you squish the baby you don't want out?"

[seattle_patient]

"Dead, dead, and I wish he was dead," I answer curtly. "It's just me and him," I answer, patting my stomach again. "And I said I didn't like babies, but it doesn't mean I don't want him. I like this one."

[drcristinayang]

I swallow hard, "Your parents are dead? And you're having a baby?"

[seattle_patient]

I look up at her, leaning my head back against the pillow. I didn't think it was that weird. "They died when I was eleven. I don't have any family, so when I found out I was pregnant, it was a chance to make my own family. Does it really sound that crazy?"

[drcristinayang]

"And the father of the baby isn't involved?" I continue, ignoring her comment. "So what happens when you die? And the kid is left alone? With nobody?"

[seattle_patient]

"If I never see that bastard again it will be too soon," I answer, unable to keep the bitterness out of my voice.

She asks what will happen when I die and I wrinkle my brow. "When I die, he'll be an adult. He'll have his own friends, his own life. He'll be ok."

[drcristinayang]

"You weren't an adult when your parents died." I protest.

[seattle_patient]

"True," I answer. "And it sucked, but I think I turned out ok. If I lived my life worrying that I was going to die young, I would never do anything. I don't just want to wait around to die. And my parents would be heartbroken if I did."

[drcristinayang]

I look down at the ground quietly as I sit on the edge of her bed, "But the chance that you could die and he'd have nobody...I mean, at least nobody that loved him as much as you did."

[seattle_patient]

"Isn't there anyone in your life who loves you as much as your parents do?" I ask.

[drcristinayang]

I press my lips together, "And what if he goes?" I press, "I'm here, but he goes..."