(no subject)
"The artists create a mural of a mexican girl with fifteen cans of spray paint in a chemical swirl. She's standing in the ashes at the end of the world--four winds blowing through her hair." -Bright Eyes "Four Winds"
I don't know what I want to do with my life. I've been thinking about it all day and I really have no idea. I mean, if I could do whatever I wanted to do, I'd probably just live--wild and free. Move around constantly, meet new people, experience life. But, let's be realistic here kids, I can't do that. I have to have an education. But, what if I go through all of the motions of school, get out fine with a degree and go to work in a job that I hate? That I have to do for the rest of my life? I don't want to have to live a life that I hate just to get by. But how do I really know? I don't, that's the problem. God damn it. I'm so sick of thinking about shit like this. But, I can't help it. What if doing this is the biggest mistake of my entire life?
Things are just fucked and they have always been fucked and I can't pretend that they're not anymore. I just can't do it. The people that I care about the most don't really give a shit about me (except for a few). I have spent the last 4 years of my life trying to do things that ended up being pointless in the end.
I am such a fucking freak. Parents always drill into kids' heads to dream and go after that dream but let's face it, dreaming doesn't get you anywhere. You have to be realistic about your future. If you chase all of those far off dreams there is a good possibility that you will end up with nothing in the end and regretting most of the choices you made in your life. This world is torture for real dreamers. To get spit on and kicked around for the rest of your life. Because most people don't give a shit if you're a nice person. You can't really be an actually nice person anymore, unless you're prepared to get massacred.
-Fin-
I don't know what I want to do with my life. I've been thinking about it all day and I really have no idea. I mean, if I could do whatever I wanted to do, I'd probably just live--wild and free. Move around constantly, meet new people, experience life. But, let's be realistic here kids, I can't do that. I have to have an education. But, what if I go through all of the motions of school, get out fine with a degree and go to work in a job that I hate? That I have to do for the rest of my life? I don't want to have to live a life that I hate just to get by. But how do I really know? I don't, that's the problem. God damn it. I'm so sick of thinking about shit like this. But, I can't help it. What if doing this is the biggest mistake of my entire life?
Things are just fucked and they have always been fucked and I can't pretend that they're not anymore. I just can't do it. The people that I care about the most don't really give a shit about me (except for a few). I have spent the last 4 years of my life trying to do things that ended up being pointless in the end.
I am such a fucking freak. Parents always drill into kids' heads to dream and go after that dream but let's face it, dreaming doesn't get you anywhere. You have to be realistic about your future. If you chase all of those far off dreams there is a good possibility that you will end up with nothing in the end and regretting most of the choices you made in your life. This world is torture for real dreamers. To get spit on and kicked around for the rest of your life. Because most people don't give a shit if you're a nice person. You can't really be an actually nice person anymore, unless you're prepared to get massacred.
-Fin-