S3 2015: Now look at me forgetting you (with your eyes wide open)
Title: Now look at me forgetting you (with your eyes wide open)
Pairing(s): Woohyun/Sunggyu
Rating: pg-13
Length: 3,817w
Summary: Everything is the same as when they first met - the traffic light still red, the billboard playing the same advertisement, cars everywhere. He bumps into Woohyun, stares at him, watches Woohyun stare back in slight confusion. He knows what words are exchanged. He knows how it all goes from there.
Warnings: Character Death
Notes: This entire thing wouldn’t have happened without A - I hope i did your angst cravings and plot justice. Thank you for the endless hand holding and for beta-ing it. To Ninja, for reassuring me that nothing could be trashier than i am, and for enduring my angry rants about this. I took the cliché way out to combine all 3 prompts but I’m still quite proud of this sadly so I hope its still worth a shot!
Prompts:
1. Quote “Imagine and dream then the whole world will change to how you want it to be.” - Nam Woohyun
2. Image: Image
3. Song: MV
Sunggyu has a rather interesting job as the guardian angel of souls. Whenever someone dies, he has the responsibility of helping them move on into the afterlife, preventing lost and wandering souls from lingering in the world where they no longer belong in.
He lives as a normal human being; he eats, drinks and talks the same. Except that there is no one to witness any of it - he’s literally invisible. The world rushes through him every day in a blur of faces and voices, a myriad of colours, beginnings and ends and not a single person sees him.
It’s all very ironic. He guides people’s souls when they die, playing such an important part at the end of a life, but no one actually acknowledges him or what he has done until that very moment. Eventually, he stops trying to talk to anyone, since it feels like he’s talking to a void, and forgets how to feel, with no one by his side.
That was, until he meets Nam Woohyun.
No that was, until Nam Woohyun meets him.
It’s the epitome of cliché, how they meet; bumping into each other accidentally while walking. But Sunggyu’s so used to people walking right through him, it’s such an unusual and foreign concept and he doesn’t know how to react when a solid body slams against him, scattering files everywhere.
“Shit!” Someone swears and Sunggyu quickly takes a step back, thinking that it was some glitch in his incorporeal form. He watches the guy pick up the files and stand up again, dusting off his shirt as he peers at Sunggyu worriedly.
“I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”
He can see Sunggyu?
“You can see me?” He echoes his thoughts, voice scratchy and rough from disuse. His eyes widens as the guy steps forward, waving a hand in front of him.
“Uh.. yeah. Unless you’re trying to tell me you’re a ghost. Should i be screaming?” He does a bad imitation of The Scream in front of Sunggyu and Sunggyu feels something surge within his heart, something that hasn’t happened ever since he became the guardian angel.
“Uhm no just that.. I’m usually invisible?” He says it as a question; still very confused by everything that’s happening. He’s actually talking to someone? The guy stares at him with a puzzled expression, a hint of pity in his eyes, before clearing his throat.
“Well I’m really sorry to interrupt whatever existential crisis you’re going through but I’ve an interview to get to. Please excuse me while you ponder the meaning of your life.” The guy presses on, cutting Sunggyu off from his thoughts.
“Um, sure.” He steps aside dazedly as the guy mutters a ‘thanks’ and walks past him. (Not through!)
Sunggyu watches as the retreating figure gets smaller and smaller and just as the figure was about to get swallowed by the swarm of people rushing to work, he decides to follow the guy. Out of curiosity, he tells himself.
Being invisible, all he has to do is make sure the guy doesn’t spot him, if he could really see Sunggyu, that is. Sunggyu trails behind the guy who was speedwalking to his destination and when he sees him entering a cozy little corner cafe at the end of the street, he stays outside, hidden from view by the display panel.
It was only 5 minutes before the guy comes out of the shop, face falling as he bows and apologises over and over again to someone Sunggyu assumed was an interviewer.
Sunggyu meets the guy’s eyes and he flinches slightly at the eye contact, just as the guy turns after the door shuts with a chime, receiving an eye roll in return.
“Are you kidding me? Your existential crisis caused me to be late for my interview which got me passed over and now you’re stalking me?” He narrows his eyes at Sunggyu and Sunggyu knows that the guy is probably exasperated and annoyed at him for ruining his potential job offer. But he wants answers of his own too.
He didn’t think of it much until that very moment. Staring into his eyes, Sunggyu decides that he wants to know why the guy can see him, and why he feels this slight strange pull to wanting to find out more about him. He tentatively stretches his arm out, offering the guy his hand.
“I’m Sunggyu. Will you accept coffee as my sincerest apology?”
-----
It was too easy, falling in love with Woohyun.
“So you’re a guardian angel.”
“Yup”
“Do you have any powers?”
“There’s one. But I’ve never tried bringing any one along with me, or rather, I couldn’t bring anyone along with me so I really don’t know how this will turn out.”
“Think of a place you want to go right now.”
Woohyun looks at Sunggyu incredulously.
“You can teleport?”
“It’s not exactly teleporting, more of imagining the place and you’ll be there.” Sunggyu explains.
“I’m keeping you.” Woohyun grins at Sunggyu, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth.
Sunggyu fights the blush rushing to his cheek and tries (and fails) to stop his heart from racing.
“Bring me to the most romantic place you’ve wanted to go with someone.”
Sunggyu looks at Woohyun in exasperation.
“Y’know, I sort of regret treating you to coffee.”
“Yeah well I don’t. So where are we going?”
Sunggyu rolls his eyes and grabs Woohyun’s hands. “Close your eyes.”
“Please don’t tell me you were lying and this is your excuse to tie me up or something.”
“Woohyun.” He grits his teeth.
He watches as Woohyun’s eyes flutter shut, long lashes brushing pale skin in the warm glow of the sunset.
Gripping Woohyun’s hands tight, he takes a deep breath, and in the next moment, extremely tall spines of trees bathed in a blue moonlight glow surrounds them. Sunggyu hears more than sees Woohyun’s gasp and the wonderment in the latter’s exclamation.
“This is amazing! Ohmygod are you sure you aren’t a wizard, because this seems like something magic can do.”
Sunggyu rolls his eyes, again, “You asked for the most romantic place.” He inclines his head towards the sky, “This was where I told myself I would bring the person who could see me.” He says quietly.
“I’m definitely keeping you.” Woohyun still has the look of adoration in his eyes and Sunggyu thinks that Woohyun is really really cute.
“Stop saying that, I sound like your pet or something.” Sunggyu retorts, words contradictory to how his arms wind around Woohyun’s waist.
Woohyun just grins at Sunggyu, silent as he tilts his head towards the sky.
It’s a place Sunggyu had stumbled upon while daydreaming. He remembers thinking about stars and moonlight and how they made the sky so breathtakingly beautiful.
Before he knew it, he was in this clearing, with millions of stars twinkling above him, the whole place felt too unreal, every inch of the area bathed in a magical blue glow, he felt a strange sense of calm and security. With only the trees silently looking at him and not passing through him like he was transparent, he felt safer here than anywhere else.
He remembered thinking that this place defined the word beautiful.
But at that moment, he looks over at Woohyun, and changed his mind.
His eyes trace the slope of Woohyun’s nose, down to the curve of his lips, and back up to those expressive eyes he now knew as home.
Nam Woohyun defined the word beautiful.
-----
Falling in love with someone only you could see, was something that could only be fate’s doing, either that, or magic.
But when the magic runs thin, would you still be in love with the same person only you could see?
Smiles over warm caramel macchiatos start to become distant staring out of the window, holding hands in exchange for cradling their long gone cold cups of coffee and inside jokes now turn to internal monologues of “Sunggyu would roll his eyes at this” and “Woohyun would laugh at this”.
The high from finding each other amidst hundreds and thousands of people, of having that one in a million chance happen to them starts to strain like a rubber band stretched taught and waiting to snap, Sunggyu thinks they should have never played with fate in the first place, knowing what would happen when he and Woohyun had officially gotten together; after he had unintentionally walked Woohyun home and after they had kissed each other goodbye, which led to two or more kisses, which then led to clothes coming off and the back of his knees hitting the cold metal frame of Woohyun’s bed.
The truth was, they would never be happy being with each other.
Maybe the both of them knew that, deep down in their hearts, but when you are so in love nothing made sense anymore, you believe that things will work out into a happily-ever-after, right?
-----
The end came too fast, and too slow at the same time. After weeks of pretending like everything was okay, as if nothing had changed, it was both a sigh of relief and a sob of anguish. It was expected and unexpected, just like how they met.
“I think.” Woohyun started, voice wavering slightly and Sunggyu was glad he wasn’t the only one trying to keep himself from breaking.
“I know.” He’s glad it came out much steadier than he hoped it would be.
“I love you.” And Sunggyu couldn’t turn around to face Woohyun, couldn’t bring himself to look into those expressive eyes most likely filled with tears at this point, couldn’t bring himself to mend this even if he wanted to.
“I love you too.”
(I’m sorry. But we can’t ever be happy together)
-----
Woohyun forgets about Sunggyu as time passes, something that just happens and Sunggyu is left alone to remember how Woohyun’s hands fitted in his just right, or how Woohyun had to stretch to kiss his forehead, or how Woohyun was always so warm and despite judging glances at Woohyun, his head would always end up on Woohyun’s chest, his ear right next to his heartbeat.
It hurt more than anything, every single memory like a shard of glass taken out and pierced through his heart again.
After being with someone who saw him for who he was, flaws and imperfections and so much of his heart laid bare, he couldn’t just go back to being alone, to having people pass through him. Not when there were eyes staring into his once, not when he could still feel Woohyun’s hands in his.
He finds himself seated on the edge of Woohyun's desk one night, a few days after he had walked out of that door, muted footsteps against familiar wooden floors as he observes the rhythmic rise and fall of the sleeping figure.
Something aches and twists in his heart and he forces himself to swallow the tears that have never really disappeared.
It should worry him that every night, his mind takes him back to this place filled with so much memories to let go, it should. But it doesn't.
Once or twice, as Sunggyu is about to leave, the first signs of dawn casting the room in a too surreal dream, Woohyun shifts and Sunggyu stops in his tracks. He watches Woohyun open his eyes, their gazes meet and Woohyun's name is on the tip of Sunggyu's tongue but the latter just looks dazedly in Sunggyu’s direction. In that span of a second, time stretches between them and Sunggyu has never felt so close yet so far to Woohyun.
He’s not even sure if Woohyun is aware of his presence but the latter falls back asleep seconds later and Sunggyu makes his way out of the door that seems to be permanently open for him.
Sunggyu falls into a fitful sleep one night by Woohyun’s bedside, his hands placed just shy of Woohyun’s, as though he was about to reach out to grasp them in his but changed his mind at the very last minute. He wakes up shaking and dry heaving because the nightmare he had of Woohyun leaving him has become all too real and he wants to know when will it ever get easier, breaking your own heart.
Woohyun wakes up to muffled sobs beside him and for some reason; he can’t bring himself to scream at the realization that a stranger was in his room crying into his hands. He wonders why there is a lump in his throat, and why tears are rolling down his cheeks and why all he feels like doing is curling up next to the stranger hidden in the shadows of his room, to share the pain he feels.
-----
Woohyun never patronises the café again, and Sunggyu’s surprised when he feels a too familiar tug in his heart as he’s nursing a cup of black coffee one afternoon.
Like many other times before, he gets pulled to the scene. But this time, his heart stops short and he feels his throat tightening, the world starts to spin and his hands shake.
His hands never shake when called to guide a soul.
But the scene in front of him, a car accident just a few roads down from the café, had him frozen; he couldn’t move, or feel. It was as if time had stopped. Somewhere, in his heart, or maybe it was imagined; he didn’t know the lines between reality and his mind anymore. Somewhere, a clock chimed once.
-----
00:60:00
“I’m forgetting you."
00:57:00
This is how their story ends.
00:53:00
It’s one too many coffee sessions (they aren’t dates because who has dates with someone no one can see?) and twice too many glances at each other and shy embarrassed laughter and Woohyun thinks its ridiculous that Sunggyu is making him feel things he’s never felt before when he’s the only person that sees Sunggyu. Maybe that’s why he thinks, maybe that’s why.
00:51:00
Woohyun smiles and laughs a lot more with Sunggyu. He’s gotten used to the looks from everyone when Sunggyu says something and he cracks up laughing for no reason. He must look insane, but he can’t find it in him to care. Somehow, this exclusivity makes him feel like they are in their own world (they are) and he links hands with Sunggyu and swings them hard, ignoring everyone else, ignoring the world.
00:46:00
Their heartbeats beat in-sync with each other. Sunggyu finds out that his favourite thing to do is sitting back to back with Woohyun with their hands clasped and feeling their heartbeats beating through them as one. Woohyun thinks Sunggyu is just really deprived of human contact (he is) so he indulges Sunggyu. Sunggyu thinks maybe one day, like their heartbeats, they will become one.
00:41:00
Emotions are something Sunggyu has sort of forgotten because it’s been so long since he felt human contact and even more (that surging in his heart when they first met). But he recognises that he’s hopelessly in love with Woohyun when he wakes up to Woohyun curled up beside him, breathing steadily and arms still loosely draped over Sunggyu. He smiles to himself when Woohyun cracks one eye open, sees Sunggyu staring at him again (I told you not to stare when I’m sleeping, I don’t even look good) and tugs him down again beneath the warm covers.
00:38:00
They’re curled up on the couch in Woohyun’s home, the television playing something both of them were no longer paying attention to, eyes on each other as they kiss feverishly, hands roaming under shirt hems and kiss bruised lips finding each other again and again. Their hands intertwine almost like an afterthought. Sunggyu came along like an uninvited person to Woohyun’s life, and extended his stay for so long that Woohyun thinks life would be meaningless without Sunggyu. He forgets how alone and unhappy he felt before Sunggyu came along. Before Sunggyu came along, he remembers nothing.
00:32:00
“I’ll never leave you” a hushed whisper amidst the rustling of clothes, a light kiss as covers are pulled up over them.
“What if you get tired of me one day?” tears threatening to spill and hands clenched into tight fists.
“That won’t happen. You’re scaring yourself. Why would I leave you?" Soft caresses and gentle reassuring kisses peppered everywhere.
“Because this shouldn’t have worked out. Why are you still here?"
00:30:00
”Because I love you too"
00:26:00
Sunggyu saw this coming. He saw this coming, and yet he didn’t expect it to hurt this bad. Even guardian angels could have their heart broken too, he thinks. Every heart break he has witnessed over the past few years makes more sense every passing day as he sees the occasional flicker of doubt in Woohyun’s eyes when he thinks Sunggyu isn’t looking.
00:23:00
“Saying that I’ll forget you, is all a lie that remains in me,” he whispers into the stillness of the room.
00:21:00
Woohyun kisses him goodbye as he leaves for work like every other day, messages him when he gets to work. The same “Dinner tonight?” and Sunggyu’s hands shake as he types “Same place, same time. Love"
00:19:00
Their story should never have started. Guardian angels were supposed to protect hearts of people. Not get their hearts broken. This was something Sunggyu didn’t know. This was how their story ended.
00:16:00
“Sunggyu, listen to me."
“Yes appa"
“When you go down, no one will be able to see you."
“Meaning I’ll be alone forever?"
“Yes, unless someone sees you."
“Will they know I’m an angel?"
“No, they won’t. You’ll have to explain it to them. And the person that sees you, you have to protect that person with your life.”
“So if someone sees me, I won’t be alone forever right? Hurry lets go down! I want to find someone who can see me. Let’s go!"
As he continued looking through the glass panel down at the tiny dotted people, he missed the defeated shake of his father’s head and the tears his mother tried to hide.
00:12:00
“I thought it was your turn to get dinner” Sunggyu walks to where Woohyun was sitting in the dark.
“I’m tired, let’s eat instant ramyun instead.” Woohyun's voice comes out clipped and terse.
“Was work very busy?"
“It was okay” The silence grew stifling by the minute and Sunggyu pats Woohyun lightly on the back, ignoring the slight flinch he felt. He thinks he might choke on the silence and the tension stretching between them as he fights to swallow the bitter taste in his mouth.
“Okay, go take a shower, I’ll start on dinner.” He says quietly.
Woohyun doesn’t move from where he’s sitting, head turned towards their balcony as Sunggyu stands on the edge of his mind, teetering between falling by himself and bringing Woohyun with him.
“Why are you so nice all the time?” Woohyun spits.
“What- Woohyun what do you mean?” Sunggyu’s confused, one hand on the door knob as he turns to face Woohyun.
“I mean this - you doing everything I ask you to or don’t ask you to. You being everything I never knew I needed in my life and making me so happy. You coming into my life and upsetting everything and making me feel loved and wanted and needed and I want to scream to the whole world how you make me feel like I’m the only person to you, because I am, but I can’t because when I go out on dates with you, people look at me like I’m crazy, ordering for two. I can’t order two caramel macchiatos, I can’t swing my arms or wrap them around your waist or even kiss you when we’re walking on the streets because people stop and stare and at first I thought I could do this.” Woohyun’s crying at this point, tears streaming down his face and Sunggyu wants to hate himself for finding the latter still beautiful even in this state. He wills the tears to not fall as Woohyun breathes in shakily; he knows he shouldn’t cry, he deserves to hear what Woohyun has to say.
“At first, I thought I could do it. I mean nothing mattered when you were with me. I tried and it got easier after awhile, we were in our own world, and I couldn’t be any happier. But it’s just so damn unfair how I have to keep these feelings to myself when I could be sharing it to my friends. Do you know how many of them have stopped talking to me? I know I’m the only one that can see you, but you make me feel so suffocated sometimes I just want to run away from you but in the end, I can’t help but come back to you.” Sunggyu could hear the unspoken “always” and then Woohyun looks at Sunggyu defeatedly, with so much love and anger and desperation and pain in his eyes and it scares Sunggyu how easily he understands.
He knows that he needs to do the right thing.
“I understand, I’m sorry."
(I’ll leave your life)
00:08:00
He tells Woohyun that he’ll forget Sunggyu ever existed, and walks out of the house. The silence that follows the door closing is deafening and in that silence, two hearts break, never to be mended again.
00:07:00
I'll always love you, but it’s time to let go
00:06:00
I wish I never met you
00:05:00
Sunggyu feels more than hears his soul split into many pieces and it hurts so much the only thing he can do is curl up into a ball and sob at the emptiness once filled with so much.
00:03:00
Somewhere else, Woohyun forgets Sunggyu and what they once were.
00:02:00
Everything is the same as when they first met - the traffic light still red, the billboard playing the same advertisement, cars everywhere. He bumps into Woohyun, stares at him, watches Woohyun stare back in slight confusion. He knows what words are exchanged. He knows how it all goes from there.
00:01:00
Sunggyu was a guardian angel. Woohyun was just like any other human.
-----
Familiar brown eyes stare back at him from the car wreckage as Sunggyu feels his heart break at the body in front of him.
He doesn’t know how he knows the guy’s name. Only he does. The guy’s eyes strains to keep from closing, and his grip on Sunggyu’s hand slackens.
“Woohyun? I’m here to guide you into the afterlife."
“… Sunggyu?”
Tears fall from Sunggyu’s eyes and he fights the surge of desperation to run from what he was about to do. What he needed to do.
“Yes, you remember. Come with me.”
“Where to?”
“Wherever you want to go.”
00:00:00
-----
Pairing(s): Woohyun/Sunggyu
Rating: pg-13
Length: 3,817w
Summary: Everything is the same as when they first met - the traffic light still red, the billboard playing the same advertisement, cars everywhere. He bumps into Woohyun, stares at him, watches Woohyun stare back in slight confusion. He knows what words are exchanged. He knows how it all goes from there.
Warnings: Character Death
Notes: This entire thing wouldn’t have happened without A - I hope i did your angst cravings and plot justice. Thank you for the endless hand holding and for beta-ing it. To Ninja, for reassuring me that nothing could be trashier than i am, and for enduring my angry rants about this. I took the cliché way out to combine all 3 prompts but I’m still quite proud of this sadly so I hope its still worth a shot!
Prompts:
1. Quote “Imagine and dream then the whole world will change to how you want it to be.” - Nam Woohyun
2. Image: Image
3. Song: MV
Sunggyu has a rather interesting job as the guardian angel of souls. Whenever someone dies, he has the responsibility of helping them move on into the afterlife, preventing lost and wandering souls from lingering in the world where they no longer belong in.
He lives as a normal human being; he eats, drinks and talks the same. Except that there is no one to witness any of it - he’s literally invisible. The world rushes through him every day in a blur of faces and voices, a myriad of colours, beginnings and ends and not a single person sees him.
It’s all very ironic. He guides people’s souls when they die, playing such an important part at the end of a life, but no one actually acknowledges him or what he has done until that very moment. Eventually, he stops trying to talk to anyone, since it feels like he’s talking to a void, and forgets how to feel, with no one by his side.
That was, until he meets Nam Woohyun.
No that was, until Nam Woohyun meets him.
It’s the epitome of cliché, how they meet; bumping into each other accidentally while walking. But Sunggyu’s so used to people walking right through him, it’s such an unusual and foreign concept and he doesn’t know how to react when a solid body slams against him, scattering files everywhere.
“Shit!” Someone swears and Sunggyu quickly takes a step back, thinking that it was some glitch in his incorporeal form. He watches the guy pick up the files and stand up again, dusting off his shirt as he peers at Sunggyu worriedly.
“I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”
He can see Sunggyu?
“You can see me?” He echoes his thoughts, voice scratchy and rough from disuse. His eyes widens as the guy steps forward, waving a hand in front of him.
“Uh.. yeah. Unless you’re trying to tell me you’re a ghost. Should i be screaming?” He does a bad imitation of The Scream in front of Sunggyu and Sunggyu feels something surge within his heart, something that hasn’t happened ever since he became the guardian angel.
“Uhm no just that.. I’m usually invisible?” He says it as a question; still very confused by everything that’s happening. He’s actually talking to someone? The guy stares at him with a puzzled expression, a hint of pity in his eyes, before clearing his throat.
“Well I’m really sorry to interrupt whatever existential crisis you’re going through but I’ve an interview to get to. Please excuse me while you ponder the meaning of your life.” The guy presses on, cutting Sunggyu off from his thoughts.
“Um, sure.” He steps aside dazedly as the guy mutters a ‘thanks’ and walks past him. (Not through!)
Sunggyu watches as the retreating figure gets smaller and smaller and just as the figure was about to get swallowed by the swarm of people rushing to work, he decides to follow the guy. Out of curiosity, he tells himself.
Being invisible, all he has to do is make sure the guy doesn’t spot him, if he could really see Sunggyu, that is. Sunggyu trails behind the guy who was speedwalking to his destination and when he sees him entering a cozy little corner cafe at the end of the street, he stays outside, hidden from view by the display panel.
It was only 5 minutes before the guy comes out of the shop, face falling as he bows and apologises over and over again to someone Sunggyu assumed was an interviewer.
Sunggyu meets the guy’s eyes and he flinches slightly at the eye contact, just as the guy turns after the door shuts with a chime, receiving an eye roll in return.
“Are you kidding me? Your existential crisis caused me to be late for my interview which got me passed over and now you’re stalking me?” He narrows his eyes at Sunggyu and Sunggyu knows that the guy is probably exasperated and annoyed at him for ruining his potential job offer. But he wants answers of his own too.
He didn’t think of it much until that very moment. Staring into his eyes, Sunggyu decides that he wants to know why the guy can see him, and why he feels this slight strange pull to wanting to find out more about him. He tentatively stretches his arm out, offering the guy his hand.
“I’m Sunggyu. Will you accept coffee as my sincerest apology?”
-----
It was too easy, falling in love with Woohyun.
“So you’re a guardian angel.”
“Yup”
“Do you have any powers?”
“There’s one. But I’ve never tried bringing any one along with me, or rather, I couldn’t bring anyone along with me so I really don’t know how this will turn out.”
“Think of a place you want to go right now.”
Woohyun looks at Sunggyu incredulously.
“You can teleport?”
“It’s not exactly teleporting, more of imagining the place and you’ll be there.” Sunggyu explains.
“I’m keeping you.” Woohyun grins at Sunggyu, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth.
Sunggyu fights the blush rushing to his cheek and tries (and fails) to stop his heart from racing.
“Bring me to the most romantic place you’ve wanted to go with someone.”
Sunggyu looks at Woohyun in exasperation.
“Y’know, I sort of regret treating you to coffee.”
“Yeah well I don’t. So where are we going?”
Sunggyu rolls his eyes and grabs Woohyun’s hands. “Close your eyes.”
“Please don’t tell me you were lying and this is your excuse to tie me up or something.”
“Woohyun.” He grits his teeth.
He watches as Woohyun’s eyes flutter shut, long lashes brushing pale skin in the warm glow of the sunset.
Gripping Woohyun’s hands tight, he takes a deep breath, and in the next moment, extremely tall spines of trees bathed in a blue moonlight glow surrounds them. Sunggyu hears more than sees Woohyun’s gasp and the wonderment in the latter’s exclamation.
“This is amazing! Ohmygod are you sure you aren’t a wizard, because this seems like something magic can do.”
Sunggyu rolls his eyes, again, “You asked for the most romantic place.” He inclines his head towards the sky, “This was where I told myself I would bring the person who could see me.” He says quietly.
“I’m definitely keeping you.” Woohyun still has the look of adoration in his eyes and Sunggyu thinks that Woohyun is really really cute.
“Stop saying that, I sound like your pet or something.” Sunggyu retorts, words contradictory to how his arms wind around Woohyun’s waist.
Woohyun just grins at Sunggyu, silent as he tilts his head towards the sky.
It’s a place Sunggyu had stumbled upon while daydreaming. He remembers thinking about stars and moonlight and how they made the sky so breathtakingly beautiful.
Before he knew it, he was in this clearing, with millions of stars twinkling above him, the whole place felt too unreal, every inch of the area bathed in a magical blue glow, he felt a strange sense of calm and security. With only the trees silently looking at him and not passing through him like he was transparent, he felt safer here than anywhere else.
He remembered thinking that this place defined the word beautiful.
But at that moment, he looks over at Woohyun, and changed his mind.
His eyes trace the slope of Woohyun’s nose, down to the curve of his lips, and back up to those expressive eyes he now knew as home.
Nam Woohyun defined the word beautiful.
-----
Falling in love with someone only you could see, was something that could only be fate’s doing, either that, or magic.
But when the magic runs thin, would you still be in love with the same person only you could see?
Smiles over warm caramel macchiatos start to become distant staring out of the window, holding hands in exchange for cradling their long gone cold cups of coffee and inside jokes now turn to internal monologues of “Sunggyu would roll his eyes at this” and “Woohyun would laugh at this”.
The high from finding each other amidst hundreds and thousands of people, of having that one in a million chance happen to them starts to strain like a rubber band stretched taught and waiting to snap, Sunggyu thinks they should have never played with fate in the first place, knowing what would happen when he and Woohyun had officially gotten together; after he had unintentionally walked Woohyun home and after they had kissed each other goodbye, which led to two or more kisses, which then led to clothes coming off and the back of his knees hitting the cold metal frame of Woohyun’s bed.
The truth was, they would never be happy being with each other.
Maybe the both of them knew that, deep down in their hearts, but when you are so in love nothing made sense anymore, you believe that things will work out into a happily-ever-after, right?
-----
The end came too fast, and too slow at the same time. After weeks of pretending like everything was okay, as if nothing had changed, it was both a sigh of relief and a sob of anguish. It was expected and unexpected, just like how they met.
“I think.” Woohyun started, voice wavering slightly and Sunggyu was glad he wasn’t the only one trying to keep himself from breaking.
“I know.” He’s glad it came out much steadier than he hoped it would be.
“I love you.” And Sunggyu couldn’t turn around to face Woohyun, couldn’t bring himself to look into those expressive eyes most likely filled with tears at this point, couldn’t bring himself to mend this even if he wanted to.
“I love you too.”
(I’m sorry. But we can’t ever be happy together)
-----
Woohyun forgets about Sunggyu as time passes, something that just happens and Sunggyu is left alone to remember how Woohyun’s hands fitted in his just right, or how Woohyun had to stretch to kiss his forehead, or how Woohyun was always so warm and despite judging glances at Woohyun, his head would always end up on Woohyun’s chest, his ear right next to his heartbeat.
It hurt more than anything, every single memory like a shard of glass taken out and pierced through his heart again.
After being with someone who saw him for who he was, flaws and imperfections and so much of his heart laid bare, he couldn’t just go back to being alone, to having people pass through him. Not when there were eyes staring into his once, not when he could still feel Woohyun’s hands in his.
He finds himself seated on the edge of Woohyun's desk one night, a few days after he had walked out of that door, muted footsteps against familiar wooden floors as he observes the rhythmic rise and fall of the sleeping figure.
Something aches and twists in his heart and he forces himself to swallow the tears that have never really disappeared.
It should worry him that every night, his mind takes him back to this place filled with so much memories to let go, it should. But it doesn't.
Once or twice, as Sunggyu is about to leave, the first signs of dawn casting the room in a too surreal dream, Woohyun shifts and Sunggyu stops in his tracks. He watches Woohyun open his eyes, their gazes meet and Woohyun's name is on the tip of Sunggyu's tongue but the latter just looks dazedly in Sunggyu’s direction. In that span of a second, time stretches between them and Sunggyu has never felt so close yet so far to Woohyun.
He’s not even sure if Woohyun is aware of his presence but the latter falls back asleep seconds later and Sunggyu makes his way out of the door that seems to be permanently open for him.
Sunggyu falls into a fitful sleep one night by Woohyun’s bedside, his hands placed just shy of Woohyun’s, as though he was about to reach out to grasp them in his but changed his mind at the very last minute. He wakes up shaking and dry heaving because the nightmare he had of Woohyun leaving him has become all too real and he wants to know when will it ever get easier, breaking your own heart.
Woohyun wakes up to muffled sobs beside him and for some reason; he can’t bring himself to scream at the realization that a stranger was in his room crying into his hands. He wonders why there is a lump in his throat, and why tears are rolling down his cheeks and why all he feels like doing is curling up next to the stranger hidden in the shadows of his room, to share the pain he feels.
-----
Woohyun never patronises the café again, and Sunggyu’s surprised when he feels a too familiar tug in his heart as he’s nursing a cup of black coffee one afternoon.
Like many other times before, he gets pulled to the scene. But this time, his heart stops short and he feels his throat tightening, the world starts to spin and his hands shake.
His hands never shake when called to guide a soul.
But the scene in front of him, a car accident just a few roads down from the café, had him frozen; he couldn’t move, or feel. It was as if time had stopped. Somewhere, in his heart, or maybe it was imagined; he didn’t know the lines between reality and his mind anymore. Somewhere, a clock chimed once.
-----
00:60:00
“I’m forgetting you."
00:57:00
This is how their story ends.
00:53:00
It’s one too many coffee sessions (they aren’t dates because who has dates with someone no one can see?) and twice too many glances at each other and shy embarrassed laughter and Woohyun thinks its ridiculous that Sunggyu is making him feel things he’s never felt before when he’s the only person that sees Sunggyu. Maybe that’s why he thinks, maybe that’s why.
00:51:00
Woohyun smiles and laughs a lot more with Sunggyu. He’s gotten used to the looks from everyone when Sunggyu says something and he cracks up laughing for no reason. He must look insane, but he can’t find it in him to care. Somehow, this exclusivity makes him feel like they are in their own world (they are) and he links hands with Sunggyu and swings them hard, ignoring everyone else, ignoring the world.
00:46:00
Their heartbeats beat in-sync with each other. Sunggyu finds out that his favourite thing to do is sitting back to back with Woohyun with their hands clasped and feeling their heartbeats beating through them as one. Woohyun thinks Sunggyu is just really deprived of human contact (he is) so he indulges Sunggyu. Sunggyu thinks maybe one day, like their heartbeats, they will become one.
00:41:00
Emotions are something Sunggyu has sort of forgotten because it’s been so long since he felt human contact and even more (that surging in his heart when they first met). But he recognises that he’s hopelessly in love with Woohyun when he wakes up to Woohyun curled up beside him, breathing steadily and arms still loosely draped over Sunggyu. He smiles to himself when Woohyun cracks one eye open, sees Sunggyu staring at him again (I told you not to stare when I’m sleeping, I don’t even look good) and tugs him down again beneath the warm covers.
00:38:00
They’re curled up on the couch in Woohyun’s home, the television playing something both of them were no longer paying attention to, eyes on each other as they kiss feverishly, hands roaming under shirt hems and kiss bruised lips finding each other again and again. Their hands intertwine almost like an afterthought. Sunggyu came along like an uninvited person to Woohyun’s life, and extended his stay for so long that Woohyun thinks life would be meaningless without Sunggyu. He forgets how alone and unhappy he felt before Sunggyu came along. Before Sunggyu came along, he remembers nothing.
00:32:00
“I’ll never leave you” a hushed whisper amidst the rustling of clothes, a light kiss as covers are pulled up over them.
“What if you get tired of me one day?” tears threatening to spill and hands clenched into tight fists.
“That won’t happen. You’re scaring yourself. Why would I leave you?" Soft caresses and gentle reassuring kisses peppered everywhere.
“Because this shouldn’t have worked out. Why are you still here?"
00:30:00
”Because I love you too"
00:26:00
Sunggyu saw this coming. He saw this coming, and yet he didn’t expect it to hurt this bad. Even guardian angels could have their heart broken too, he thinks. Every heart break he has witnessed over the past few years makes more sense every passing day as he sees the occasional flicker of doubt in Woohyun’s eyes when he thinks Sunggyu isn’t looking.
00:23:00
“Saying that I’ll forget you, is all a lie that remains in me,” he whispers into the stillness of the room.
00:21:00
Woohyun kisses him goodbye as he leaves for work like every other day, messages him when he gets to work. The same “Dinner tonight?” and Sunggyu’s hands shake as he types “Same place, same time. Love"
00:19:00
Their story should never have started. Guardian angels were supposed to protect hearts of people. Not get their hearts broken. This was something Sunggyu didn’t know. This was how their story ended.
00:16:00
“Sunggyu, listen to me."
“Yes appa"
“When you go down, no one will be able to see you."
“Meaning I’ll be alone forever?"
“Yes, unless someone sees you."
“Will they know I’m an angel?"
“No, they won’t. You’ll have to explain it to them. And the person that sees you, you have to protect that person with your life.”
“So if someone sees me, I won’t be alone forever right? Hurry lets go down! I want to find someone who can see me. Let’s go!"
As he continued looking through the glass panel down at the tiny dotted people, he missed the defeated shake of his father’s head and the tears his mother tried to hide.
00:12:00
“I thought it was your turn to get dinner” Sunggyu walks to where Woohyun was sitting in the dark.
“I’m tired, let’s eat instant ramyun instead.” Woohyun's voice comes out clipped and terse.
“Was work very busy?"
“It was okay” The silence grew stifling by the minute and Sunggyu pats Woohyun lightly on the back, ignoring the slight flinch he felt. He thinks he might choke on the silence and the tension stretching between them as he fights to swallow the bitter taste in his mouth.
“Okay, go take a shower, I’ll start on dinner.” He says quietly.
Woohyun doesn’t move from where he’s sitting, head turned towards their balcony as Sunggyu stands on the edge of his mind, teetering between falling by himself and bringing Woohyun with him.
“Why are you so nice all the time?” Woohyun spits.
“What- Woohyun what do you mean?” Sunggyu’s confused, one hand on the door knob as he turns to face Woohyun.
“I mean this - you doing everything I ask you to or don’t ask you to. You being everything I never knew I needed in my life and making me so happy. You coming into my life and upsetting everything and making me feel loved and wanted and needed and I want to scream to the whole world how you make me feel like I’m the only person to you, because I am, but I can’t because when I go out on dates with you, people look at me like I’m crazy, ordering for two. I can’t order two caramel macchiatos, I can’t swing my arms or wrap them around your waist or even kiss you when we’re walking on the streets because people stop and stare and at first I thought I could do this.” Woohyun’s crying at this point, tears streaming down his face and Sunggyu wants to hate himself for finding the latter still beautiful even in this state. He wills the tears to not fall as Woohyun breathes in shakily; he knows he shouldn’t cry, he deserves to hear what Woohyun has to say.
“At first, I thought I could do it. I mean nothing mattered when you were with me. I tried and it got easier after awhile, we were in our own world, and I couldn’t be any happier. But it’s just so damn unfair how I have to keep these feelings to myself when I could be sharing it to my friends. Do you know how many of them have stopped talking to me? I know I’m the only one that can see you, but you make me feel so suffocated sometimes I just want to run away from you but in the end, I can’t help but come back to you.” Sunggyu could hear the unspoken “always” and then Woohyun looks at Sunggyu defeatedly, with so much love and anger and desperation and pain in his eyes and it scares Sunggyu how easily he understands.
He knows that he needs to do the right thing.
“I understand, I’m sorry."
(I’ll leave your life)
00:08:00
He tells Woohyun that he’ll forget Sunggyu ever existed, and walks out of the house. The silence that follows the door closing is deafening and in that silence, two hearts break, never to be mended again.
00:07:00
I'll always love you, but it’s time to let go
00:06:00
I wish I never met you
00:05:00
Sunggyu feels more than hears his soul split into many pieces and it hurts so much the only thing he can do is curl up into a ball and sob at the emptiness once filled with so much.
00:03:00
Somewhere else, Woohyun forgets Sunggyu and what they once were.
00:02:00
Everything is the same as when they first met - the traffic light still red, the billboard playing the same advertisement, cars everywhere. He bumps into Woohyun, stares at him, watches Woohyun stare back in slight confusion. He knows what words are exchanged. He knows how it all goes from there.
00:01:00
Sunggyu was a guardian angel. Woohyun was just like any other human.
-----
Familiar brown eyes stare back at him from the car wreckage as Sunggyu feels his heart break at the body in front of him.
He doesn’t know how he knows the guy’s name. Only he does. The guy’s eyes strains to keep from closing, and his grip on Sunggyu’s hand slackens.
“Woohyun? I’m here to guide you into the afterlife."
“… Sunggyu?”
Tears fall from Sunggyu’s eyes and he fights the surge of desperation to run from what he was about to do. What he needed to do.
“Yes, you remember. Come with me.”
“Where to?”
“Wherever you want to go.”
00:00:00
-----