Free For All Day - Fic: All in the Family (3 of ?)
Title: All in the Family
Author: spikes_heart
Era/season/setting: Buffy Season 4, Angel Season 1
Banner Credit: Twinkles
Notes: A huge part of the first three chapters is borrowed from Buffy's 4th season - Something Blue, written by Tracey Forbes. Everything you recognize is their respective writers’ property, and not mine. Interspersed, you will find my small changes, until canon is left behind (mostly).
Warning: There is the slightest bit of canon Buffy/Angel and a hint of un-reciprocated Buffy/Riley. Nothing explicit.
Rating: PG for now
Summary: What if Buffy brought back a little surprise after her encounter with Angel in I Will Remember You?
Banner Credit: Twinkles
“If the two of you could remain civil long enough to -”
Giles’ words fell on deaf ears. No longer arguing, Buffy was now perched on a chair. The vampire was on bended knee, holding her hand.
“It’s just so sudden,” Buffy gushed. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Just say yes, and make me the happiest man on earth.”
“Oh, Spike! Of course, it’s yes!” Buffy exclaimed, her eyes aglow with joy.
What the hell…? Giles walked forward and removed his glasses, unable to process the scene before him: the pair snogging for all they were worth.
When the lip-lock broke, Buffy finally seemed to notice her Watcher. “Giles! You’ll never believe what’s happened!” she squeaked, holding up her now chunky-silver-skull-ringed finger.
*****
“It’s just not fair!”
Great Godfrey Cambridge, would his torment ever end? “Willow, I know it’s hard to see it right now, but everything you’re feeling is because of you and Oz. Not because of Buffy and me, or anybody. But eventually you’ll meet somebody else, and it’ll be better.”
“Yeah,” Willow said sarcastically, “’cause most relationships are great and trouble-free. I don’t think so. I think we’re all doomed to badness.”
“We’re not doomed.”
“Oh yeah? Let’s-let’s look at your bio. Insect Lady, Mummy Girl… Anya! You’re a demon magnet.”
Xander couldn’t keep the hurt out of his voice. “I was just trying to help.”
*****
A frustrated Giles tried to call Willow but had to resort to leaving a message on her answering machine. “Willow, it’s-it’s me. Something’s happened. I need your help. I can’t see very well. Everything’s blurred.”
A hazy glimpse of Buffy bringing Spike a mug of blood had him grabbing the scotch. Continuing, he added, “I’m certain it’s a spell of some kind, because… well… it seems something else is going wrong.”
“Here you go - 98.6,” Buffy said as she handed her vampire his meal and proceeded to sit on his lap.
“Horribly wrong,” Giles concluded before hanging up.
Buffy gazed into Spike’s eyes. “There’s so much to decide. Ceremony, guests, reception…”
“Well, first thing I’d say: we’re not having a church wedding.”
“How about a daytime ceremony? In the park?”
“Fabulous. Enjoy your honeymoon with the big pile of dust.”
Buffy continued on blithely. “Under the trees. Indirect sunlight only.”
“Warm breeze tosses the leaves aside and, again, you’re registering as Mr.-and-Mrs.-Big-Pile-of-Dust.”
The happy couple didn’t even register Giles’ returning to the living room and settling clumsily onto the couch with a glass of scotch in hand.
“Stop it!” Buffy cried, exasperated. “This is our wedding and you’re treating it like a big joke!”
“Ooh, pouty! Look at that lip…” Spike crooned softly. “Gonna get it… gonna get it.”
Amidst Buffy’s giggles, they fell to snogging yet again, Until Buffy broke off and said playfully, “Oh… stop!”
“Yes, please stop,” Giles all but begged, taking a deep swig of his drink.
“Giles, did you see my ring?” Buffy asked, extending her hand.
“Thankfully not very well,” he murmured, leaning back and rubbing at his eyes.
Getting up from Spike’s lap, Buffy settled at Giles’ feet. “I’m not crazy, and I know that you probably don’t approve, and my father’s not that far away. I mean, he could… but this day is about family - my real family - and I would like you to be the one to give me away.”
He was touched! “Oh, Buffy! That’s… that’s so… Oh for god’s sake!” he said, coming to his senses. “This is nonsense. Something is making you act this way. Don’t you realize what you’re doing?”
“Living the dream,” Buffy sighed happily, looking back at Spike.
“He’s gonna have to take a bit of time to get used to it, pet.”
“They all will,” Buffy agreed. Turning to giles, she added, “But you guys weren’t crazy about Angel at first, either.”
“You weren’t gonna say that name,” Spike muttered angrily.
“Sorry. Why don’t we talk about where we’re going to register?”
“Well, where would Angel like to register,” Spike sneered. “And, uh, can we have the photographer Angel would’ve wanted? And the flowers Angel would have liked?”
“Hey!” Buffy snapped, standing up. “You think I don’t live with the shadow of Drusilla over my head? That I’m not wondering if you’re going to be thinking of her on our honeymoon when you’re making sweet love to me?” Walking back over to Spike she resituated herself in his lap, and the snogging commenced again.
Giles couldn’t take anymore. He reached for his glass but only succeeded in knocking it to the floor.
“Giles, are you okay?” Buffy asked, concerned.
“I rather think not. I seem to be rather… rather… blind. Completely, in fact.”
“What?” Buffy walked back over to him. “How could this have happened?”
“A spell, I believe.” He could feel her waving her hand in front of his face.
“Well, we’ll fix it,” she said resolutely. “Don’t worry.”
“What you want is a general reversal spell,” Spike added. “Gonna need supplies.”
Giles was gobsmacked, to say the least. “Are you… helping me?”
“Well, it’s almost like you’re my father-in-law, innit?”
Buffy couldn’t hide her happiness. “See? This is how it’s gonna be. Spike’ll even take care of you while I’m at the magic shop.” Walking into Spike’s embrace, she pronounced, “From now on, we’re a family,” and proceeded, once more, to snog her intended.
Giles panicked. Standing, he wobbled his way to the kitchen. “It’s alright. I have more scotch.”
*****
After exiting the magic store, Buffy stopped short. She couldn’t believe it. In the bridal shop window was the most absolutely perfect wedding gown ever! Spike was just gonna die all over again when he saw her in it.
“Hey, Buffy. What’s up?”
Startled, Buffy turned around and was face-to-face with Riley. Without a word, she turned back to her dress.
“Riley, look. Isn’t it beautiful?”
“Um, yeah. It’s nice. A little dressy, maybe, for school, but…”
Turning to face him once more, she said softly, “Riley…”
“Buffy?” he questioned, clearly bewildered.
“I really like you. I hope you know that you mean a lot to me,” she began, placatingly, “and if things were different-”
“Different than what?”
Feeling badly, she took his hand. “I want you to promise me that we can always be friends, and I’d really like you to be there on The Day.”
“The day when…”
Really? “The wedding!”
“The wedding? What wedding?”
“My wedding!” Buffy said, frustration rising. “I’m getting married - can you believe it?”
Riley shook his head. “I don’t think ‘no’ is a strong enough word.”
“I know! It’s crazy! I mean, we fought all the time for all these years, and then… sometimes you just look at someone and you know. You know?”
Riley shook his head, emphatically. “No.”
“I think maybe we fought because we couldn’t admit how we really felt about each other.”
“Can we start again?” Riley asked, his face a mask of total confusion.
“You’ll really like him,” Buffy twittered on. “Well, nobody really likes him.”
“I just need to clear a few things up…”
“I don’t even really like him.”
“Buffy!”
“But I love him. I do.”
“Who?”
“What?”
“What’s his name?”
“Who?” Really now, this was getting ridiculous.
“The groom!”
Ah! “Spike.”
“That’s a name?”
“Don’t be mad.”
“I’m not mad!” Riley insisted.
“No, you are mad!” Buffy insisted right back.
“No, I am! Er… I really… Wow. Who is this guy? Does he go here?”
“Spike?” Buffy laughed. “Oh, no. He’s totally old.”
“Old.”
“Well, not as old as my last boyfriend was.”
Still befuddled, Riley finally broke. “Okay. It’s late… and I’m, I’m very tired now. So, I’m just gonna go far away and be… away.”
“But -”
“No, stay,” Riley said with finality. And he walked off, still looking utterly confused.
Adopting one of her better pouts, Buffy called after him, “You’re ruining my happy day!” Her stomach began to cramp again, and she dry heaved.
*****
Xander called up the stairs. “That’s okay, Mom - we don’t need any more snacks.”
Anya shrugged her shoulders. “I liked those fruit roll-ups.”
“Shush. I thought she’d never clear out. Besides, just think of my lips as the fruit roll-ups of love.” After a momentary pause… “Okay, that was gross,” Xander admitted. “I’m a little distracted. Willow was really upset. I shouldn’t have let her go away mad.”
Anya shut him up in his favorite way: hard, passionate kisses.
“Regaining focus,” he murmured.
“We just got rid of your mom,” Anya pointed out. “Let’s not bring Willow into this. It’s time for just the two of us.”
They fell onto his mattress, kissing and, well, other stuff. Then, suddenly, a demon burst through the side door. Leaping up, Xander ran at the demon; it tossed him aside.
Anya went after it with a baseball bat, but it snatched the bat from her grasp.
Xander leapt back up, grabbed his clothesline and tried to strangle the thing.
“No, no,” Anya cried. “It’s a Serparvo demon! Drowning is the only way to kill it!”
With a concerted effort, they managed to drag the demon over to the sink and dunk its head under the water. But, as soon as the Serparvo died, another demon burst through the window.
“What the hell is going on?” Xander demanded, grabbing Anya as they ran out of the basement.
*****
Buffy sing-songed the Wedding March as she paraded the cake topper (with a little blonde couple) up Spike’s arm.
With a towel over his eyes, Giles asked wearily, “So the plan is to cure my total, incapacitating blindness… tomorrow, is it?”
“They were all out of taggias root at the magic shop,” Buffy explained. “They’ll have more tomorrow. I’m completely on top of it,” she promised.
Looking at the topper, she said, “Aren’t they the perfect little us?”
“I don’t like him,” Spike countered. “He’s insipid. Clearly human.”
“Oooh!” She had an idea. “Red paint! We could smear a little on his mouth - blood of the innocent.”
“That’s my girl.” He grabbed the back of her head and pulled her down for yet another soul-searing kiss.
“Stop that right now!” Giles insisted. “I can hear the smacking!”
Reluctantly, Buffy pulled away. setting the figurine down, she picked up a notebook from the table. “Honey, we need to talk about the invitations,” she wheedled. “Now, do you wanna be William the Bloody, or just Spike? ’Cause, either way, it’s gonna look majorly weird.”
“Whereas the name Buffy gives it that touch of classic elegance.”
“What’s wrong with Buffy?”
“Ha… such a good question,” Giles snorted.
Ignoring the Watcher, Spike replied, “Well, it’s a terrible name.”
“My mother gave me that name,” Buffy argued.
“Your mother, yeah. She’s a genius.”
“Don’t you start in on my mother.”
Their argument was cut short when Anya and Xander burst in. Pushing a bookshelf in front of the door, Xander yelped, “Board up the windows, and barricade the doors.”
“What’s going on?” Giles asked.
“Demons,” Anya explained. “They keep coming and coming.”
“I think we lost them, but I couldn’t see.” Xander startled at the sight of the unbound vampire. “Spike!” he squealed (in a manly fashion, he would later insist). “He’s all untied!” There was a brief pause before he continued, “Which you probably noticed.”
“Xander, calm down, okay? If you lost them, that’ll give us some time to figure this out.” Turning to Spike, Buffy said, “Maybe the demons have something to do with Giles being blind.”
“Giles is blind?” Anya repeated.
Walking over to Giles, Xander proceeded to wiggle his fingers in front of the man’s face.
“Please stop whatever you’re doing. You smell like fruit roll-ups.”
Spike rolled his eyes. “This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.”
Latching onto Spike’s arm, Buffy conceded, “Spike’s right. We really should get organized.”
Staring at them, Anya asked, “Why are you holding hands?”
Buffy met Spike’s adoring eye and smiled lovingly.
“They have to hear it sooner or later,” Spike encouraged.
Unable to hold back her excitement, Buffy trilled, “Spike and I are getting married!”
“How? What? How?” Xander couldn’t contain his befuddlement.
“Three excellent questions,” Giles muttered.
Spike was gazing at her. “What are you lookin’ at?”
“The man I love,” she replied and proceeded to kiss him silly.
“Can I be blind, too?” Xander asked. “Wait… married. I know something. What is it…?” He was thinking aloud. “Everything’s so familiar. Work, brain - work! Oh! Oh, oh! Willow!”
In between kisses, Buffy managed to ask, “Mmm… what about Will? Honey, get off,” she said, pulling away.
“Something about Willow and her grief-y poor-me mood swings,” Xander replied. “So, so tired of it.”
“You mean I don’t have to be nice to her anymore?” Anya asked, hopefully.
“Well, we’re all tired of it,” Buffy agreed, “but what does it have to do with what’s going on?”
Xander pumped his fist. “She told me I’m a demon magnet, a-and you two should get married.”
“And that I didn’t see anything,” Giles said slowly.
“She did a spell!” Buffy realized.
“Yes,” Giles agreed. “To have her will done. Whatever she says is coming true.”
“And you both were affected. I probably only escaped because I’m the Slayer. Some kind of natural immunity.”
“Yeah, right,” Xander snorted. “You’re marrying Spike because you’re so right for each other.”
“Xander…”
“That’s it,” Spike declared. “You’re off the usher list.”
“People,” Giles’ tone called them all to order. “Willow is out there, and she probably doesn’t know what she’s doing.”
“We gotta find her,” Xander announced.
“Before someone gets really hurt,” Buffy insisted.
Giles nodded and tripped over his own feet, falling over his couch and landing on the other side.
*****
Willow walked into her dorm room, and was accosted by a terrifying demon who placed his hands on either side of her head. Massive gusts of wind and crackling electricity swirled about her, and they both vanished.
Author: spikes_heart
Era/season/setting: Buffy Season 4, Angel Season 1
Banner Credit: Twinkles
Notes: A huge part of the first three chapters is borrowed from Buffy's 4th season - Something Blue, written by Tracey Forbes. Everything you recognize is their respective writers’ property, and not mine. Interspersed, you will find my small changes, until canon is left behind (mostly).
Warning: There is the slightest bit of canon Buffy/Angel and a hint of un-reciprocated Buffy/Riley. Nothing explicit.
Rating: PG for now
Summary: What if Buffy brought back a little surprise after her encounter with Angel in I Will Remember You?
Banner Credit: Twinkles
“If the two of you could remain civil long enough to -”
Giles’ words fell on deaf ears. No longer arguing, Buffy was now perched on a chair. The vampire was on bended knee, holding her hand.
“It’s just so sudden,” Buffy gushed. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Just say yes, and make me the happiest man on earth.”
“Oh, Spike! Of course, it’s yes!” Buffy exclaimed, her eyes aglow with joy.
What the hell…? Giles walked forward and removed his glasses, unable to process the scene before him: the pair snogging for all they were worth.
When the lip-lock broke, Buffy finally seemed to notice her Watcher. “Giles! You’ll never believe what’s happened!” she squeaked, holding up her now chunky-silver-skull-ringed finger.
*****
“It’s just not fair!”
Great Godfrey Cambridge, would his torment ever end? “Willow, I know it’s hard to see it right now, but everything you’re feeling is because of you and Oz. Not because of Buffy and me, or anybody. But eventually you’ll meet somebody else, and it’ll be better.”
“Yeah,” Willow said sarcastically, “’cause most relationships are great and trouble-free. I don’t think so. I think we’re all doomed to badness.”
“We’re not doomed.”
“Oh yeah? Let’s-let’s look at your bio. Insect Lady, Mummy Girl… Anya! You’re a demon magnet.”
Xander couldn’t keep the hurt out of his voice. “I was just trying to help.”
*****
A frustrated Giles tried to call Willow but had to resort to leaving a message on her answering machine. “Willow, it’s-it’s me. Something’s happened. I need your help. I can’t see very well. Everything’s blurred.”
A hazy glimpse of Buffy bringing Spike a mug of blood had him grabbing the scotch. Continuing, he added, “I’m certain it’s a spell of some kind, because… well… it seems something else is going wrong.”
“Here you go - 98.6,” Buffy said as she handed her vampire his meal and proceeded to sit on his lap.
“Horribly wrong,” Giles concluded before hanging up.
Buffy gazed into Spike’s eyes. “There’s so much to decide. Ceremony, guests, reception…”
“Well, first thing I’d say: we’re not having a church wedding.”
“How about a daytime ceremony? In the park?”
“Fabulous. Enjoy your honeymoon with the big pile of dust.”
Buffy continued on blithely. “Under the trees. Indirect sunlight only.”
“Warm breeze tosses the leaves aside and, again, you’re registering as Mr.-and-Mrs.-Big-Pile-of-Dust.”
The happy couple didn’t even register Giles’ returning to the living room and settling clumsily onto the couch with a glass of scotch in hand.
“Stop it!” Buffy cried, exasperated. “This is our wedding and you’re treating it like a big joke!”
“Ooh, pouty! Look at that lip…” Spike crooned softly. “Gonna get it… gonna get it.”
Amidst Buffy’s giggles, they fell to snogging yet again, Until Buffy broke off and said playfully, “Oh… stop!”
“Yes, please stop,” Giles all but begged, taking a deep swig of his drink.
“Giles, did you see my ring?” Buffy asked, extending her hand.
“Thankfully not very well,” he murmured, leaning back and rubbing at his eyes.
Getting up from Spike’s lap, Buffy settled at Giles’ feet. “I’m not crazy, and I know that you probably don’t approve, and my father’s not that far away. I mean, he could… but this day is about family - my real family - and I would like you to be the one to give me away.”
He was touched! “Oh, Buffy! That’s… that’s so… Oh for god’s sake!” he said, coming to his senses. “This is nonsense. Something is making you act this way. Don’t you realize what you’re doing?”
“Living the dream,” Buffy sighed happily, looking back at Spike.
“He’s gonna have to take a bit of time to get used to it, pet.”
“They all will,” Buffy agreed. Turning to giles, she added, “But you guys weren’t crazy about Angel at first, either.”
“You weren’t gonna say that name,” Spike muttered angrily.
“Sorry. Why don’t we talk about where we’re going to register?”
“Well, where would Angel like to register,” Spike sneered. “And, uh, can we have the photographer Angel would’ve wanted? And the flowers Angel would have liked?”
“Hey!” Buffy snapped, standing up. “You think I don’t live with the shadow of Drusilla over my head? That I’m not wondering if you’re going to be thinking of her on our honeymoon when you’re making sweet love to me?” Walking back over to Spike she resituated herself in his lap, and the snogging commenced again.
Giles couldn’t take anymore. He reached for his glass but only succeeded in knocking it to the floor.
“Giles, are you okay?” Buffy asked, concerned.
“I rather think not. I seem to be rather… rather… blind. Completely, in fact.”
“What?” Buffy walked back over to him. “How could this have happened?”
“A spell, I believe.” He could feel her waving her hand in front of his face.
“Well, we’ll fix it,” she said resolutely. “Don’t worry.”
“What you want is a general reversal spell,” Spike added. “Gonna need supplies.”
Giles was gobsmacked, to say the least. “Are you… helping me?”
“Well, it’s almost like you’re my father-in-law, innit?”
Buffy couldn’t hide her happiness. “See? This is how it’s gonna be. Spike’ll even take care of you while I’m at the magic shop.” Walking into Spike’s embrace, she pronounced, “From now on, we’re a family,” and proceeded, once more, to snog her intended.
Giles panicked. Standing, he wobbled his way to the kitchen. “It’s alright. I have more scotch.”
*****
After exiting the magic store, Buffy stopped short. She couldn’t believe it. In the bridal shop window was the most absolutely perfect wedding gown ever! Spike was just gonna die all over again when he saw her in it.
“Hey, Buffy. What’s up?”
Startled, Buffy turned around and was face-to-face with Riley. Without a word, she turned back to her dress.
“Riley, look. Isn’t it beautiful?”
“Um, yeah. It’s nice. A little dressy, maybe, for school, but…”
Turning to face him once more, she said softly, “Riley…”
“Buffy?” he questioned, clearly bewildered.
“I really like you. I hope you know that you mean a lot to me,” she began, placatingly, “and if things were different-”
“Different than what?”
Feeling badly, she took his hand. “I want you to promise me that we can always be friends, and I’d really like you to be there on The Day.”
“The day when…”
Really? “The wedding!”
“The wedding? What wedding?”
“My wedding!” Buffy said, frustration rising. “I’m getting married - can you believe it?”
Riley shook his head. “I don’t think ‘no’ is a strong enough word.”
“I know! It’s crazy! I mean, we fought all the time for all these years, and then… sometimes you just look at someone and you know. You know?”
Riley shook his head, emphatically. “No.”
“I think maybe we fought because we couldn’t admit how we really felt about each other.”
“Can we start again?” Riley asked, his face a mask of total confusion.
“You’ll really like him,” Buffy twittered on. “Well, nobody really likes him.”
“I just need to clear a few things up…”
“I don’t even really like him.”
“Buffy!”
“But I love him. I do.”
“Who?”
“What?”
“What’s his name?”
“Who?” Really now, this was getting ridiculous.
“The groom!”
Ah! “Spike.”
“That’s a name?”
“Don’t be mad.”
“I’m not mad!” Riley insisted.
“No, you are mad!” Buffy insisted right back.
“No, I am! Er… I really… Wow. Who is this guy? Does he go here?”
“Spike?” Buffy laughed. “Oh, no. He’s totally old.”
“Old.”
“Well, not as old as my last boyfriend was.”
Still befuddled, Riley finally broke. “Okay. It’s late… and I’m, I’m very tired now. So, I’m just gonna go far away and be… away.”
“But -”
“No, stay,” Riley said with finality. And he walked off, still looking utterly confused.
Adopting one of her better pouts, Buffy called after him, “You’re ruining my happy day!” Her stomach began to cramp again, and she dry heaved.
*****
Xander called up the stairs. “That’s okay, Mom - we don’t need any more snacks.”
Anya shrugged her shoulders. “I liked those fruit roll-ups.”
“Shush. I thought she’d never clear out. Besides, just think of my lips as the fruit roll-ups of love.” After a momentary pause… “Okay, that was gross,” Xander admitted. “I’m a little distracted. Willow was really upset. I shouldn’t have let her go away mad.”
Anya shut him up in his favorite way: hard, passionate kisses.
“Regaining focus,” he murmured.
“We just got rid of your mom,” Anya pointed out. “Let’s not bring Willow into this. It’s time for just the two of us.”
They fell onto his mattress, kissing and, well, other stuff. Then, suddenly, a demon burst through the side door. Leaping up, Xander ran at the demon; it tossed him aside.
Anya went after it with a baseball bat, but it snatched the bat from her grasp.
Xander leapt back up, grabbed his clothesline and tried to strangle the thing.
“No, no,” Anya cried. “It’s a Serparvo demon! Drowning is the only way to kill it!”
With a concerted effort, they managed to drag the demon over to the sink and dunk its head under the water. But, as soon as the Serparvo died, another demon burst through the window.
“What the hell is going on?” Xander demanded, grabbing Anya as they ran out of the basement.
*****
Buffy sing-songed the Wedding March as she paraded the cake topper (with a little blonde couple) up Spike’s arm.
With a towel over his eyes, Giles asked wearily, “So the plan is to cure my total, incapacitating blindness… tomorrow, is it?”
“They were all out of taggias root at the magic shop,” Buffy explained. “They’ll have more tomorrow. I’m completely on top of it,” she promised.
Looking at the topper, she said, “Aren’t they the perfect little us?”
“I don’t like him,” Spike countered. “He’s insipid. Clearly human.”
“Oooh!” She had an idea. “Red paint! We could smear a little on his mouth - blood of the innocent.”
“That’s my girl.” He grabbed the back of her head and pulled her down for yet another soul-searing kiss.
“Stop that right now!” Giles insisted. “I can hear the smacking!”
Reluctantly, Buffy pulled away. setting the figurine down, she picked up a notebook from the table. “Honey, we need to talk about the invitations,” she wheedled. “Now, do you wanna be William the Bloody, or just Spike? ’Cause, either way, it’s gonna look majorly weird.”
“Whereas the name Buffy gives it that touch of classic elegance.”
“What’s wrong with Buffy?”
“Ha… such a good question,” Giles snorted.
Ignoring the Watcher, Spike replied, “Well, it’s a terrible name.”
“My mother gave me that name,” Buffy argued.
“Your mother, yeah. She’s a genius.”
“Don’t you start in on my mother.”
Their argument was cut short when Anya and Xander burst in. Pushing a bookshelf in front of the door, Xander yelped, “Board up the windows, and barricade the doors.”
“What’s going on?” Giles asked.
“Demons,” Anya explained. “They keep coming and coming.”
“I think we lost them, but I couldn’t see.” Xander startled at the sight of the unbound vampire. “Spike!” he squealed (in a manly fashion, he would later insist). “He’s all untied!” There was a brief pause before he continued, “Which you probably noticed.”
“Xander, calm down, okay? If you lost them, that’ll give us some time to figure this out.” Turning to Spike, Buffy said, “Maybe the demons have something to do with Giles being blind.”
“Giles is blind?” Anya repeated.
Walking over to Giles, Xander proceeded to wiggle his fingers in front of the man’s face.
“Please stop whatever you’re doing. You smell like fruit roll-ups.”
Spike rolled his eyes. “This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.”
Latching onto Spike’s arm, Buffy conceded, “Spike’s right. We really should get organized.”
Staring at them, Anya asked, “Why are you holding hands?”
Buffy met Spike’s adoring eye and smiled lovingly.
“They have to hear it sooner or later,” Spike encouraged.
Unable to hold back her excitement, Buffy trilled, “Spike and I are getting married!”
“How? What? How?” Xander couldn’t contain his befuddlement.
“Three excellent questions,” Giles muttered.
Spike was gazing at her. “What are you lookin’ at?”
“The man I love,” she replied and proceeded to kiss him silly.
“Can I be blind, too?” Xander asked. “Wait… married. I know something. What is it…?” He was thinking aloud. “Everything’s so familiar. Work, brain - work! Oh! Oh, oh! Willow!”
In between kisses, Buffy managed to ask, “Mmm… what about Will? Honey, get off,” she said, pulling away.
“Something about Willow and her grief-y poor-me mood swings,” Xander replied. “So, so tired of it.”
“You mean I don’t have to be nice to her anymore?” Anya asked, hopefully.
“Well, we’re all tired of it,” Buffy agreed, “but what does it have to do with what’s going on?”
Xander pumped his fist. “She told me I’m a demon magnet, a-and you two should get married.”
“And that I didn’t see anything,” Giles said slowly.
“She did a spell!” Buffy realized.
“Yes,” Giles agreed. “To have her will done. Whatever she says is coming true.”
“And you both were affected. I probably only escaped because I’m the Slayer. Some kind of natural immunity.”
“Yeah, right,” Xander snorted. “You’re marrying Spike because you’re so right for each other.”
“Xander…”
“That’s it,” Spike declared. “You’re off the usher list.”
“People,” Giles’ tone called them all to order. “Willow is out there, and she probably doesn’t know what she’s doing.”
“We gotta find her,” Xander announced.
“Before someone gets really hurt,” Buffy insisted.
Giles nodded and tripped over his own feet, falling over his couch and landing on the other side.
*****
Willow walked into her dorm room, and was accosted by a terrifying demon who placed his hands on either side of her head. Massive gusts of wind and crackling electricity swirled about her, and they both vanished.