Ficlet - Convergence

[clawofcat]

The fic that I've been working on for this round is still in development, but I didn't want to leave you all hanging without content, so here's a small offering. I hope to have my other fic finished for the Free For All.

Title: Convergence
Author: ClawofCat
Timing: S7
Rating: PG-13
Words: 603
Summary: Set during "Lessons," we learn more about Spike, the

Comments

[rebcake]

This is so densely written, so full of substance, that I hardly know where to begin.

How about: His victory was always to hold her heart in his hands, a literal desire turned figurative. contrasted with [she] casts her heart away, a writhing fish out of water skidding across the floor.

There's so much going on in just those two lines, about the tenuous grasp he has on his desires (kiss or kill), his memory, and his sanity, among other things. Excellent.

serrated teeth on cocksure display when they circle each other for their formal introduction

I love the touch of victoriana in the midst of monstrous posturing. The reference to Buffy as the Blue Fairy (Are you real?) is wonderful, as well.

Beautifully done, affecting and powerful. Thanks for putting it out there.

(Deadlines: mother to amazing work.)

[clawofcat]

Thanks, as always, for the kind words, Reb. When I finally accepted that I wouldn't get the longer fic done in time, I focused on something I could do last minute and it was this. Dense, prosy character studies come naturally to me. They're so image rich, that I only have to worry about the signifance of the symbolism and overlapping canonical moments. No "story" necessary. I've always found the particular segment of Spike's speech in "Beneath You" about the dreams very heartbreaking and wanted to do a bit of Crazy!Spike POV so we could see the sort of internal torture he was undergoing.

There's so much going on in just those two lines, about the tenuous grasp he has on his desires (kiss or kill), his memory, and his sanityHee, you quoted my two favorite lines! I image newly souled Spike was very much at odds with his vision of himself - who he wanted to be vs. who he had been in the past. The "badness" of his actions coupled with the First (as Spike) taunting him must have made for a particularly conflicted journey. I think his

[clawofcat]

Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Spike was in such a state of flux at this time that I think his mental state must have really reflected the confusion and conflict he was feeling. All the biolence and guilt bubbling to the surface would definately make for some shivery creepiness.

[amyxaphania]

I'll echo urania_calliope - this gave me shivers. Great little fic.

[clawofcat]

Thanks, Amy! Though this time period is a brief one in the scope of the show, I think the effects of it on Spike's actions and personality afterward went very deep. Nearly all the characters seem to go through this trial by fire where they have to reject or embrace the bad or good inside of them. We know Spike's choice :)

[moscow_watcher]

So wonderfully chilling, so intense and heartbreaking.

Flow-of-conscience pieces are the hardest to write, especially when a writer deals with Spike, who is one of the most controvercial characters in TV history. But you do it brilliantly, delving into his psyche and crystallizing his very essense - the poet, the sacred beast, the ultimate myth, the embodiment of a male duality - and the man behind these concepts.

Stellar. Just stellar.

[clawofcat]

Thanks so much for the kinds words. I think you hit on everything I was trying to accomplish with this piece. For me, alongside the heartbreaking beauty of Spike's confession, there has always been something deeply disturbing about the church scene in "Beneath You." Spike reveals things, frightening things, that really begin to flesh out the sort of monster he was pre-series. And I imagine that those impulses and desires would rear themselves quite forcefully once he had soul enough to feel the deep regret and shame of what he'd done. Fantasies that might have brought him pleasure before, like killing Buffy, only serve to distress him not only because things have changed so much, but that in "Seeing Red" maybe he sees how wrong he is about that.

Flow-of-conscience pieces are the hardest to writeThey've always been some of the easiest for me, actually. It's functional storytelling that I've often had difficulty with (and what's been the hold up on the SS fic I've been working on). I was quite strapped for time, so I reverted to

[moscow_watcher]

They've always been some of the easiest for me, actually. It's functional storytelling that I've often had difficulty with (and what's been the hold up on the SS fic I've been working on). I was quite strapped for time, so I reverted to default mode - something I knew I could on short notice and it's this tight, lyrical, image-heavy prose. It feels very organic to me, like snapshots. It's how people think and remember - in pieces - so writing like this feels like a natural extension of a person's internal state. Does that make sense?

Lucky you! In my case, it's the opposite. I often get weird plotty "what if" ideas as I rewatch the show, and some of them easily transform into fic storylines. But delving into characters' psyche is incredibly hard to me. I tried, unsuccessfully, several times, and, finally accepted my inadequacy. And I have deep respect and admiration of writers who can glimpse into characters' souls.

[rebcake]

the embodiment of a male duality

Excellent point about Spike being the perfect embodiment of that thing about men, that they are marvelous and loving and attractive, but that they are far too often capable of killing the women they love. *shiver*

[shapinglight]

Eh dear! Poor Spike. I think you got to the heart of his madness here.

[clawofcat]

I really enjoyed trying to channel crazy!Spike. It was much easier than I thought it would be once I rewatched his scenes from the first 4 eps of S7. Spike during this time is very lyrical in speech, and uses somewhat obtuse metaphors, so I tried to work that into the prose, along with a network of canon tie-ins to ground the abstraction of his madness.