(no subject)
a list of lately.
-borderline obsession with the frames & spending almost every night falling into bed listening to the fitzcarraldo album.
-marvelling at how drugs can disable tears.
-a little more than flighty about boys, giving up on anyone after a matter of days.
-asking him for a cigarette and when he offers to buy me a pack replying with "well, i don't smoke".
-my mother observing and telling me how when she was in her 20s she was told boys were scared off by her abrasiveness, too. bonding.
-buying friends dinner constantly because finally i can, even though really i shouldn't, and loving it.
-missing a lot of old friends. somehow wanting to fix and not forget.
-nerves,nerves,nerves.
-there is probably a hole in my stomach lining.
-waiting for summer.
-wishing i was healthier&happier, honestly, no more wallowing.
-i'm going to try to be better at returning phonecalls.
-"everybody here wants you"- jeff buckley on repeat.
-seeing way too much death at work- my skin getting thicker, or else a mute button on my heart.
-opening up polaroids that i had wrapped in tissue paper & ribbon - too stubborn to throw out but too bruised to look at.
-long hair, awesome.
-remembering mistakes i've made, smiling & shaking my head.
-better luck next time around?
-borderline obsession with the frames & spending almost every night falling into bed listening to the fitzcarraldo album.
-marvelling at how drugs can disable tears.
-a little more than flighty about boys, giving up on anyone after a matter of days.
-asking him for a cigarette and when he offers to buy me a pack replying with "well, i don't smoke".
-my mother observing and telling me how when she was in her 20s she was told boys were scared off by her abrasiveness, too. bonding.
-buying friends dinner constantly because finally i can, even though really i shouldn't, and loving it.
-missing a lot of old friends. somehow wanting to fix and not forget.
-nerves,nerves,nerves.
-there is probably a hole in my stomach lining.
-waiting for summer.
-wishing i was healthier&happier, honestly, no more wallowing.
-i'm going to try to be better at returning phonecalls.
-"everybody here wants you"- jeff buckley on repeat.
-seeing way too much death at work- my skin getting thicker, or else a mute button on my heart.
-opening up polaroids that i had wrapped in tissue paper & ribbon - too stubborn to throw out but too bruised to look at.
-long hair, awesome.
-remembering mistakes i've made, smiling & shaking my head.
-better luck next time around?