Now it's Thursday
DAUGHTER 1: Adele read her first word "CAN." She is smart and sweet but damn can she ever push my buttons. Our days aren't filled with Ugly simply because she is so pleasant when being rotten. I love her but she tries me something fierce. I probably have no right to complain since her misbehavior is generally easy to resolve but when you get used to the good, a little ugly feels like a lot. She loves working in the yard together, going on adventures "like Dora," reading, playing with her dolls, and "making presents." She does not like keeping her shoe bin dedicated to her shoes, wearing non sparkly attire, wearing socks or shoes. She does not like it when Elise cries and is prompted into fear by "scary" music. She enjoys watching Max & Ruby, Hannah Montana, the Wiggles, Caillou, and shows with kids in them. We take turns watching the computer...but we refrain from watching anything remotely scary in front of her. Among our shows, she enjoys Ugly Betty and, oddly enough, anything about football.
DAUGHTER 2: Lisey (prounounced "Leesee") is getting so strong. She'll soon be turning herself over. She is so darn cute - I want to eat her up! She smiles easy and has begun laughing. Her first laugh (I know of) was in the tub. She likes the "BINGO" song and does not suffer hunger well. She does not seem to like her feet covered (a sibling thing, it would seem), the dogs barking, or me yelling. Her every expression is too precious and amazing but I find I am almost always to exhausted to enjoy her as much as I'd like. She has amazing brown eyes and being able to make her smile is such a day-maker!
ME: I am trying to find the momentum I need to maintain something...anything. I'd like to be loyal to a system of some sort but I haven't found the time to lay out details for anything let alone actually start tending to it. I feel close...I just need some uninterrupted time...time I can count on to not beinterrupted. I seem to spend my days waiting, holding my breath, until I collapse physically and/or emotionally. I am always waiting for the next fire to become just hot enough for me to have to turn toward it. I don't know if this is what parenting is supposed to feel like but I really would like some tricks to help keep me centered...I'm not seeking advice here...I'll get it together, I know. I almost have.
I walked through the neighborhood today without my knife or my bat and I felt vulnerable at first. After awhile I saw things differently. Not every tree or electrical box or van was hiding a would-be attacker. Odds are, I'd be just as safe without my weapons as I had been with them (I still will bring them when I remember). I realized being afraid was a choice I was making each time I ventured out of the house. There's always time for fear to act on its own behalf, I suppose I need not rush it.
MORE: My brother was out for a visit and we had a lovely time. I hate that our visits are so few and far between. He is good company and while knowing me all too well, still seems to love me. We did about half of what I'd hoped to do but so it goes. He and Bill played golf and we all went t see the stunning Chiuhly exhibit at the Botanical Garden, then the less stunning ZooLights. We ate out at Kona Grill, Pita Jungle & noca. AND NOCA OMG...yes, loved, loved, loved it! Every second - loved it. We had wine and conversation over 6 courses and it was a bit like I'd always hoped we'd be as adult siblings. I can only hope that my girls are half as lucky.
I was reminded that I am indeed my mother's daughter as I noticed that I plan events based around when and what we'll eat. When we weren't eating out we had steak at home, picnic sandwiches at the Garden, birthday brunch, fondue, chicken wings, and tuna melts. I like sharing the way we eat with company... it feels like I'm sharing a real piece of who we are when we share what/how we sustain our bodies.
I'm thinking of starting a blog that distills and crystallizes everything I've LJ'd and reflected upon in other forms. I'm thinking of calling it "LMNO" - Laine's Mine of Nuggets & Observations
Bill's been busy at work but he's done a remarkable job in not bringing too much home with him. He always hates how I use his vacation time to visit family and I think I might plan a little resort type getaway for our anniversary this year. Speaking of which, if we did decide to exchange vows, I found the perfect place to do it and I think I might be able to get it for free...we'll see.
Best sleep while I can. Don't think I've seen REM in weeks. I miss REM.
DAUGHTER 2: Lisey (prounounced "Leesee") is getting so strong. She'll soon be turning herself over. She is so darn cute - I want to eat her up! She smiles easy and has begun laughing. Her first laugh (I know of) was in the tub. She likes the "BINGO" song and does not suffer hunger well. She does not seem to like her feet covered (a sibling thing, it would seem), the dogs barking, or me yelling. Her every expression is too precious and amazing but I find I am almost always to exhausted to enjoy her as much as I'd like. She has amazing brown eyes and being able to make her smile is such a day-maker!
ME: I am trying to find the momentum I need to maintain something...anything. I'd like to be loyal to a system of some sort but I haven't found the time to lay out details for anything let alone actually start tending to it. I feel close...I just need some uninterrupted time...time I can count on to not beinterrupted. I seem to spend my days waiting, holding my breath, until I collapse physically and/or emotionally. I am always waiting for the next fire to become just hot enough for me to have to turn toward it. I don't know if this is what parenting is supposed to feel like but I really would like some tricks to help keep me centered...I'm not seeking advice here...I'll get it together, I know. I almost have.
I walked through the neighborhood today without my knife or my bat and I felt vulnerable at first. After awhile I saw things differently. Not every tree or electrical box or van was hiding a would-be attacker. Odds are, I'd be just as safe without my weapons as I had been with them (I still will bring them when I remember). I realized being afraid was a choice I was making each time I ventured out of the house. There's always time for fear to act on its own behalf, I suppose I need not rush it.
MORE: My brother was out for a visit and we had a lovely time. I hate that our visits are so few and far between. He is good company and while knowing me all too well, still seems to love me. We did about half of what I'd hoped to do but so it goes. He and Bill played golf and we all went t see the stunning Chiuhly exhibit at the Botanical Garden, then the less stunning ZooLights. We ate out at Kona Grill, Pita Jungle & noca. AND NOCA OMG...yes, loved, loved, loved it! Every second - loved it. We had wine and conversation over 6 courses and it was a bit like I'd always hoped we'd be as adult siblings. I can only hope that my girls are half as lucky.
I was reminded that I am indeed my mother's daughter as I noticed that I plan events based around when and what we'll eat. When we weren't eating out we had steak at home, picnic sandwiches at the Garden, birthday brunch, fondue, chicken wings, and tuna melts. I like sharing the way we eat with company... it feels like I'm sharing a real piece of who we are when we share what/how we sustain our bodies.
I'm thinking of starting a blog that distills and crystallizes everything I've LJ'd and reflected upon in other forms. I'm thinking of calling it "LMNO" - Laine's Mine of Nuggets & Observations
Bill's been busy at work but he's done a remarkable job in not bringing too much home with him. He always hates how I use his vacation time to visit family and I think I might plan a little resort type getaway for our anniversary this year. Speaking of which, if we did decide to exchange vows, I found the perfect place to do it and I think I might be able to get it for free...we'll see.
Best sleep while I can. Don't think I've seen REM in weeks. I miss REM.